Tag: marriage

First comes the proposal, then the wedding, and then the house. This was once the norm, but not anymore.

In Singapore, when you’ve been in a relationship for a reasonable amount of time, you can expect your partner to ask you one crucial question: “Want to BTO?”

Today, many couples apply for a BTO (Build-To-Order) flat before proposing. Marriage comes a little later, and it can happen before or after getting the keys to their home.

Logically, it makes more sense. It's pragmatic, as the wait for a BTO can be (dreadfully) long. The completion of BTO projects can take around 2.5 to 5 years. And let’s face it. Getting a house in Singapore is stressful. In fact, it’s downright terrifying.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or if you’re single, buying a house here is crazy expensive despite the various grants available. It’s also incredibly difficult because you’re competing with hundreds of other buyers bidding for the same flat you wish to get. And when you are getting something which you will most likely have to continue paying for for the next 20 to 30 years, you can expect everyone to 'fight' for their ideal choice.

This competitiveness for a BTO forces many young Singaporeans to commit themselves into a relationship when they may not exactly be ready.

THE PRESSURE TO FIND LOVE FASTER

Because of the amount of time it takes for you to successfully get the keys to your new home, it means having to find the person you are 'meant to be with' a lot faster.

I know of singles in their mid 20s who are still working on finding the right person to date, let alone have a relationship with.

Dating itself has become a more daunting task than before. From the get-go, we start thinking about whether we see a future with this person, because we no longer have time to spend on someone whom we’re not going to spend the rest of our lives with.

A lot of singles in their mid and late 20s go into their first date hoping that it’ll be their last first date. We’re no longer dating to date, but we’re dating for marriage. I’ve even heard a couple of my singles friends tell me, “I want my next boyfriend to be my last one.”

Sophia, 25 and single, shared how she goes into every first date subconsciously analysing everything about her date, to get a sense of whether she sees herself spending the rest of her life with him.

“First dates used to be about having a good night out while getting to know someone,” she shares. “Now I find myself thinking about stuff you’d usually only start thinking about after knowing someone for a couple of months like “Does he want kids?” and “How religious is he?””

As much as it stinks for people like Sophia, who thought dating would be “fun and enjoyable”, buying a house in Singapore means having to think about our future a lot quicker.

It's not a bad thing to date with the purpose of marriage of course, but it may not necessarily be a good thing to be bogged down by the practicalities of what is seemingly a talk for much later on. While applying for a BTO is a great way to get us to plan for our future early, it also, in a lot of ways, ruin romance.

IS OUR HOUSING SYSTEM A CURSE?

But it’s not just the singles who are stressed out. Couples are having to commit to the person they are with a lot earlier in their relationship. And while that’s not exactly a problem, it does provide immense pressure to someone who's not ready for that level of commitment, while facing their partner who is.

No longer do we have ample time in our hands to enjoy the ‘honeymoon phase’ of a relationship. While there are the lucky few who stay with their school sweethearts for 10 years, a lot of us only find “the one” somewhere in our mid 20s.

But there are instances where despite having your lives planned out together, relationships simply don’t work out.

What happens when you have a BTO on your way, and you realise that you can no longer see a future with the person you are with?

I was surprised to find that there wasn’t a lack of post-BTO breakup stories within my circle of friends alone.

Alvin, 27, went through a breakup with his girlfriend of four years after they had successfully balloted for their home last year.

“She said that she didn’t see a future with me anymore and just needed some time for herself,” he shared. “It was later that I found out there was another guy.”

“I guess no matter how much you plan for something, sometimes life just kicks you in the nuts,” Alvin laughed.

A breakup was the last thing he had expected to happen, especially at a stage of his life where he thought he had his future all planned out.

What makes BTOs all the more scary are the implications that cancelling your application causes.

There’s no doubt that you end up forfeiting the money that you’ve invested, depending on how far along in the process you are.

You also lose your first-time applicant advantages, and if you want to apply for a BTO with your next partner, or as a single, you have to wait at least a year to be able to do so.

“It sucks that the implications of forfeiting a BTO are so costly, literally,” Alvin says. “But at least it’s taught me to take my time and not rush into settling down with someone.”

Samantha, 25, whose boyfriend also broke up with her after applying for their BTO together, believes that a BTO is an expectation created by society.

“Instead of asking, 'Proposed already ah?', people ask, 'BTO already ah?' which I think indirectly gives couples a lot of pressure to get a BTO.”

It seems like we assume getting a BTO guarantees a relationship. But there rarely is ever a guarantee on anything.

“A lot of couples rush into getting a BTO because they think that might give them some ‘security’”, she shared. “But that shouldn’t be case, you should apply for a BTO because you’re secure about your relationship.”

SOMETIMES YOU JUST WORK THROUGH IT

It’s normal to feel unsure about your relationship and stumble onto rough patches along the way. The stress that comes with the BTO doesn’t help either. What was meant to be a significant part of a couple’s life has become a stressful endeavour instead.

Couples who have successfully gotten their house have had their own share of rough patches along the way. But these couples found a way to set things on track to start building their future with their partners.

Mabel, 28, who has now secured her home through Sales of Balance (SFB), wasn’t sure if she was ready to commit to her boyfriend of 3 years before they applied for it in May 2018.

“I didn’t know if I was ready to commit,” she shared. “Because it’s not only about committing to a house, but committing to the rest of my life ahead of me.”

“Whenever we spoke about applying for a BTO, a part of me wanted it, but the other part was also scared.”

Today, Mabel and her fiancé have the keys to their house, and will be getting married in a few months' time.

“When I told my fiance about my fears, we talked about it and decided to make it work together,” she continued. “I saw his efforts in trying to make our relationship work and I just wanted to do the same.”

For Alexa, 25, applying for a BTO was a natural next step in their relationship. When they applied for their BTO, they had been together for two years and knew they were ready for the commitment.

Yet, it was after they were successful in their ballot that Alexa’s relationship hit a rough patch.

“That ‘ready’ feeling became very different as we went through a seriously rough patch that really made us think if we should move forward,” she shared.

Like anyone else in her position, Alexa didn’t want to go through the hassle of withdrawing their application.

“There was definitely a lot of pressure because this was an investment we had gotten ourselves into.” she continued. “This really showed me that the BTO system can really be a burden.”

While in many ways, having a BTO on the line does encourage you to make things work with your beau and give your relationship another chance, it doesn’t allow you to consider your relationship rationally.

“We had to tell ourselves to consider the future of our relationship as if there was no BTO involved,” says Alexa. “Because we knew that if we let the BTO decide our future, we wouldn’t be happy.”

Fortunately, Alexa and her boyfriend managed to get past their rough patch and are eager to start their life together today.

DON’T JUMP THE GUN

It’s normal to have the urge to jump on a bandwagon that everyone around you is on. We all want to have a great home by the age of 35. We all have an ideal ‘plan’ of where we want to be by the time we’re in our late 30s.

Despite being single for the past two years, Jason, still has no qualms about rushing into a relationship at 27.

“I get that in Singapore, settling down with someone takes a lot more time. But I would much rather wait until 35 and get my bachelor pad than get a BTO with someone I'm unsure about,” shares Jason. “Singlehood doesn’t scare me, being with the wrong one does.”

BTOs should be a mere stepping stone into the future you want to build, it shouldn’t be the foundation of it.

“Your future shouldn't depend on getting a BTO,” says Alexa. “It’s better to be 30 and single than to be with someone you’re unsure about.”

Also read: Hustle Together, Stay Together - These Singaporean Couples Prove That Office Romance Can Work

Among the trending news of sexual harassment, victim blaming, and politics, Naomi Neo has also gotten engaged and married. Weddings are usually a congratulatory affair, but many people were more concerned that Naomi's marriage might be a mistake – after all she's only 22. Even before announcing her pregnancy, “confirm shotgun” were the first thoughts many had upon watching her YouTube videos. Of course the hasty timeline and her wedding dress was a cause for suspicion; but pregnant or not, people would still shame her for being too young to settle down. 50 years ago, it would have been the opposite – getting married at 16 was a norm and those who weren’t married by 25 were shamed. I guess we have higher education and the government’s family planning campaign to thank for this reversal.
Photo Credit: <a href=" Archives of Singapore
Growing up, we were warned not to get into a relationship lest it affects our studies. Most of us teens don’t heed this advice, but we subconsciously buy into the teaching that success and love is mutually exclusive. Anyone who tries to prove this theory wrong is doomed for failure and expected to suffer a painful lesson in divorce. Those who tie the knot too early are labelled as people who lack ambition, wit, self-control, or maturity. We believe only those who abstain from young love can truly find success in life. After all, most teens and young adults are still discovering themselves. We can’t be sure about the person we’re marrying when we aren’t even sure of who we are. Although, 50-year-olds can be equally lost and confused – It’s called a mid-life crisis. Are we suppose to keep marriage on hold until that passes?

“I can afford it and having children was something I wanted to check off my list,” Germaine casually replied when I asked her why she married fresh out of law school instead of working first. This 24-year-old is a mother of two and none were born out of wedlock. That still didn’t stop friends and relatives from gossiping initially.

“You’ll regret it next time.”

“You’re missing out on life.”

 “You’re wasting your youth!”

These are the ‘words of wisdom’ you hear as a young newly wed. Germaine took it in her stride, but my ex-colleague, Ryan, and his wife struggled. Ryan was often forced to defend the ring on his finger whenever he went for social gatherings. Having to explain his choice to marry at 22 caused more anxiety than joy. To avoid the repetitive conversation with strangers, the couple has since decided to keep their rings at home. While many are against marrying marrying young, it seems like it is the most practical option for Singaporeans. There is a 3 to 5 year wait between applying for a BTO and actually getting it. Also, a couple gets a larger grant if the collective income between the two of them is less than $2,500 a month. This is normally possible only if one party is working. However, most still prefer to wait till their late twenties or early thirties before they wed.

Screenshot taken from the comment's section on Naomi Neo's wedding video
Personally, I have always wanted to marry only after building up my career and exploring the world. No matter how serious I was in my previous relationships, marriage was too far in the future to warrant a conversation. Admittedly, marrying young might make me feel a little FOMO. I don’t want to miss out on dinners and spontaneous vacations because of a mortgage loan. Marriage also means being filial to another set of parents – even if I love them, there’s going to be twice the nagging and twice the superstitions to adhere to. So if majority of my friends are saving marriage for later, so will I. Except, I met ‘the one’ last year. He happens to be 6 years older than me and marrying young is definitely in my cards now. I confronted my anxiety about being wifed before 25, stripping the feeling down to its source. The problem is this: when I wed, I will be 'that girl'. The girl who is impulsive, the girl who lacks wisdom, the girl who doesn’t know better, the girl who "confirm pregnant". Or I will stand accused of being a gold digger, settling early for his money. And even though I am happily married, I will bear my wedding ring like a mark of shame.

Are We Just Reckless And Naive?

Getting married isn't a decision made overnight. No matter how young the couple is, a lot of thought would have been put into their future: their first home, the wedding preparation, and family planning. Sometimes, the conclusion derived from discussions and all that 'thought' is simply to marry young. Even with shotgun marriages, there is always an option of aborting the baby or giving it up for adoption. Tying the knot is always a choice and it's not because we don't know any better. (Header image source: @naomineo_)
Weddings should be a simple and sincere celebration of two people coming together in holy matrimony, but more often than not, traditions, reputation, and superstitions (that most of us don’t even believe in) take precedence. We all have our fair share of woes in complicated wedding procedures that we honestly wish we can do away with. Thankfully, modern Singaporeans have simplified some of the must-dos – now we can present a can of pigs’ trotters instead of a whole roasted pig to our Chinese in-laws. However, the practice of giving cash dowries hasn't gotten the same update and is one of the few wedding traditions that has not progressed with time. Traditionally, because women join their husband's family upon marriage, the dowry is used to compensate the bride's family for raising their daughter well and ‘giving her away’. Another common practice is where a dowry is given to the groom's family as financial relief for future costs incurred from taking care of the new wife. Regardless, the idea is the same: a dowry is given as a remuneration of sorts. Since Singaporean men and women have equal rights to education and career opportunities, and that both husband and wife are free to visit their families even after marriage (considering the idea of 'giving the daughters away'), there is no longer a need to ‘reimburse’ any party in the marriage. The giving of dowries should be an obsolete practice then. So why do older generations still insist on keeping this tradition?

“It’s Not About Money!”

It’s common courtesy for the side receiving the dowry to return part of it in cash or by covering some of the wedding expenses. Ultimately, most of the money is given back or used to benefit the couple so arguably it isn’t about how much, but rather a matter of staying rooted in our culture. With that said, a token sum of $50 should suffice to pass on the dowry for tradition's sake, but you still hear exorbitant numbers being thrown around.

"Where got daughter worth $50 one?"

If all children are priceless, $100,000 won't justify the worth of one’s daughter either. Only items sold in a business have a price tag justifying its worth. If we put a price on our daughter’s hand in marriage, we’re taking a huge step back in time, undoing all the efforts made to empower the women of today. In a way, the 'bride’s price' objectifies women and it should never be an accurate representation of someone’s worth. In the case where grooms pay the dowry, an expensive one can only be justified if daughters are perceived to be more precious and valued than sons – where true love and sincerity alone is considered a ‘low ball price’ for marrying a woman. Has the feminist movement tipped the scales of equality in their favour or is it just a money making opportunity? Millennials we reached out to unanimously agreed that dowries place unnecessary stress on engaged couples. We’ve even heard of couples who had to cut back on their ideal wedding budget or loan money from their parents to afford the dowry. In worst case scenarios, wedding planning becomes a failed business deal and both families end up falling out – just because of dowries. Clearly, the dowry only benefits one party. I thought no one would want to pay money in the name of tradition – I was wrong. For some, being able to afford the expensive tradition gives a sense of pride because it reflects status and wealth. And for wealthier families that can actually afford, most pay for they fear ‘losing face’. Compared to an expensive dowry, having a good job, a healthy bank balance, and properties under your name would be a better gauge of one's net worth and financial independence. Even if one has millions to spare, paying the dowry shouldn’t be a platform to boast about your wealth anyway. As newlyweds, there are so many better ways to spend money, like furnishing your new home or saving for your first child. Then, there are those concerns tying the uncorroborated link between a dowry and it's importance in the future of a marriage:

"If I don't pay the dowry, they might treat my daughter poorly."

Ultimately, like our chou chou, a comforting pillow we hug or smell to feel safe, the dowry is a false sense of security we cling onto. If someone is innately a violent person or lacks the courage to stand up for his wife, no amount of money can change that. You can only trust your daughter’s choice in your son-in-law and her strength to walk away if things turn sour, or trust in the Singapore law to protect her.

"If anything bad happens to my son-in-law or if he runs away with another woman, I can use the dowry money to help my daughter."

Where’s the safety deposit in case something happens to your daughter or if she runs off with another man? We act as if women are always the victim of toxic relationships even though we've all heard our fair share of nightmarish girlfriends, but that's a story for another time. In Singapore, the various laws and rules that enable women to achieve just as much as men makes it easy to forget that gender equality runs deeper than just equal opportunities. It’s about our perception of women. We still think females are weak and emotional beings with the inability to cope when things go south despite the many single mother success stories. The number of dual income families has not help us outgrow the concept of men being the sole breadwinner either. Dowries are proof of our wayward thinking despite equal opportunities. It is through subtle things like this that tells of how we still can’t see a woman as an equal to her male counterpart. We are hindered by the inertia of tradition. There is no logical reason to pass this custom onto the next generation. Instead of expensive dowry gifts, I vote for a more meaningful use of money – a bigger to help kick start the newlywed’s lives together. Also read, Why Securing A BTO First Makes A More Meaningful Proposal.
Recently, a popular local social media influencer <a href=" under scrutiny for her sponsored wedding. More specifically, for not being upfront about the sponsorships she got ranging from venue, food, and luxurious wedding favours to the 27 dresses made for her bridesmaids. There were guests who reportedly felt ‘cheated’, as they felt that sponsorships “cheapened the wedding (and) made it insincere.” And should they have known that the wedding was heavily sponsored, they would have given a different amount in the Ang Baos. Others reasoned that giving Ang Baos is “about celebrating with (the couple) and wishing them well,” and shouldn’t be co-related to wedding sponsorship. This made us wonder: what is the meaning of a wedding and the act of giving Ang Baos then? We reached out to 7 Singapore millennials to weigh in on this: how important is it to have lavish wedding banquets to millennials today? Also, are sponsorships an issue, and how critical is it to get a ‘big’ wedding Ang Bao. This is what they shared.

What Is A Wedding To You?

A big-ass party to end all parties. A day to signify the commitment between two people who will love each other even though they want to tear each other's heads off and feed each other rat poison once in a while. – Aaron, 33 An event to witness a covenant and sacred union between two people. – Cai Ping, 27 It could be pride, to tell people that you’re taken, or to flaunt family wealth, but I think a wedding is a way to show off that you have ‘made it’ in life. – Eugene, 26 Not just the celebration of the union of my partner and me, it’s also a way for me to thank my family and friends for being supportive of us and for seeing us to this stage of our lives. – Samantha, 25

Big Weddings, Small Weddings, What Do You Want In Your Ideal Wedding?

It may be a once in a lifetime event but spending a lot doesn’t necessarily mean anything. You just have to make it special. – Eugene, 26 It’s not very practical to hold such a big event for just a one day thing, unless I'm rich or am marrying into a rich family where fame and dignity plays a part. I don't need anything fancy. Ultimately, it’s the meaning behind the wedding that matters most – the marriage itself and the commitment to one another. – Cai Ping, 27 It’s not important to have a lavish wedding at all. Too much money goes into these things which could be spent better – like on a gaming console. I'd rather just invite my immediate family, relatives who actually matter, and my closest friends to a curry restaurant. And it'll definitely be something affordable. I know a guy who spent a shit ton of money for his wedding at a really famous hotel. Today his relationship with his wife is in ruins and he is in jail, going bankrupt while his mother is paying off his debts with her own retirement money. – Aaron, 33 A wedding is too tiring for both the couple and their families, and so much money is spent on it too. I’d rather have something small and affordable with just family and close friends. I'd spend more on travelling or honeymoon instead. – Juanning, 23

Why Do YOU Give Wedding Ang Baos?

I give Ang Baos because of local customs and practices. But the more practical side would be to help the couple cover costs. – Juanning, 23 I give it as a nice gesture because it’s the wedding of people important to me. As for the ones I don't care about, I won't even go. But I think wedding Ang Baos are given out of tradition more than anything else today. – Eugene, 26 I give them as a token of appreciation. Kind of like when you go to someone's house for a party but instead of cookies or alcohol, the token comes in the form of cash. – Aaron, 33

How Important Is Getting Big Wedding Ang Baos To You?

Expecting a big Ang Bao from guests to offset an expensive dinner that you chose to have is like inviting people to your housewarming and getting them to paint your house for you. I want whoever who come to be there out of pure sincerity and not harbour a discontent of having to pay $88 (or more) just to watch me kiss my wife. – Eugene, 26 It isn't important at all. It should come from the heart and how much someone can afford to give. – Kenny, 26 The Chinese believe that the bigger the Ang Bao, the bigger the blessing. But realistically, Ang Bao money is a financial help for newlyweds to ‘pay off’ the wedding and things like house renovations. However, when I plan my wedding, I'm prepared to not break-even from the guests’ Ang Baos. – Samantha, 25

Sponsored Weddings – Yes Or No?

Sponsorships are helpful for the couple in terms of finances and I believe that everyone would want to be sponsored if they are able to. So I don't think there's anything wrong. – Yun Jie, 21 I get that people may see sponsorships as making a wedding seem inauthentic or insincere, but if it helps cut costs then I don't see anything wrong. Real weddings, fake weddings, they're all weddings. The actual fake wedding is the one where you see them divorce a year later. – Aaron, 33 I don’t see what the issue of having a sponsored wedding is. So many other celebrities and influencers have had sponsored weddings. I think people are just sour about others getting sponsored weddings because most people give Ang Baos based on the ‘market price’ for that wedding location. And knowing that the couple isn't paying for things, makes them feel like they paid more than they should. – Juanning, 23 Sponsored or not, I think we should be genuinely happy for the couple and be honoured that they thought of us and want us to celebrate an occasion this important to them. – Samantha, 25

What’s Your Say?

Many of us fall prey to the thought of The Dream Wedding. We pin dream wedding suits and dresses and add extensive ballroom decor into our wedding checklist. We send our partner photos of our friend's wedding so they can 'take note'. Today, weddings have become such grand affairs, it seems as if not having an elaborate banquet affair is irreverent to the notion of a wedding. With so much debate surrounding a long-standing tradition of marriages and weddings, how important is a wedding to you? Share your take with us in the comments! Also read, 12 Things Singapore Couples Do That Singles Buay Tahan.
As we edge into our twenties, we begin to accept the fact that we are really no longer kids. Most of us would be either completing our studies or building up a career. It’s scary to even think of having a baby ourselves. Being a parent is no easy feat. It's even tougher when you're young and hadn't planned to be one yet. We often hear about the trials and tribulations from girls who went through teenage pregnancy, or from being a young mother. However, rarely do we get to hear from the dads who’ve stuck by the ladies through such situations. This Father’s Day, we reached out to 29-year-old Charles John (CJ). This is his story of being a young father to a child out of wedlock.

Getting 'Caught In A Situation'

CJ and Mieko when they were dating
Back then, I had been dating my girlfriend, Mieko, for 2 years. We both used to smoke and drink a lot, but one day she just couldn’t stand the smell of smoke anymore. That was when we suspected that she could be pregnant. Furthermore, she had missed her period for one and a half months. It was only after a pregnancy test kit from 7-11 and a visit to polyclinic later that our suspicions were confirmed. Mieko was pregnant. I was going to be a father.

Her Parents Gave An Ultimatum

I was shocked, of course. A part of me was in panic mode because we were young and not married. But at the same time, I was happy and excited that we were going to have our own flesh and blood. We didn't have big doubts on keeping the baby because we felt it was only right to, but our parents didn’t take it very well. When Mieko told her parents, they gave her an ultimatum to abort the baby or be thrown out of the house. We both struggled with the decision to abort after that. But after seeing the first ultrasound at the hospital – we just couldn’t bear to abort. Even after Mieko told her parents, I struggled to break the news to mine. Mieko eventually texted my mother about it and my mother was shocked. She reasoned that life would be difficult as we were financially very unstable. To add on to the stress we were facing, she is also a practicing Catholic so she wanted Mieko and I to get married before our baby was born. However, Mieko was only 18 and considered a minor so she needed consent from her parents for marriage. Her parents did not approve since Mieko was still very young. We eventually waited till she was 21 and got married.
CJ and Mieko getting married

Harsh Realities

Mieko was only 18 then and working part-time while doing her diploma. I was 22 and just started my first full-time job at Keppel shipyard. Reality hit that we weren’t financially stable to support ourselves, much less bring a child up. My worries were mainly the financial aspects, but this can be worked on. On the negative thoughts people may have of me, I think nobody dared to say negative things to me directly. But I can’t deny that there were sentiments that bothered me slightly. I just ignored it and concentrated on our happiness.

Making The Decision

CJ with his family
Despite everything, Mieko and I decided to keep the baby. We are Roman Catholics and it is against our religion to abort a baby because we believe that every child is a gift from God. We also felt that this would be a new and interesting chapter of our lives together that will better us in our lifestyles, making us more responsible adults.

No Longer Young And Wild

There were definitely many things that we had to change. Before, we would spend freely without thinking. I’d spend a lot on things like cigarettes and alcohol, and go clubbing every week. When Dayna happened, I stayed home more often so I could save more money. I told myself that I’d never allow myself to go ‘bankrupt’ ever again. We've been thriftier. We don’t go clubbing often anymore. Even when we do, it’s probably once in a few months. Our entire paycheck now goes towards daily necessities, bills, and our kids. Compared to our younger, wilder days, we now meet up with friends over meals or they would come over to our place. We’d just chill at night after the girls have gone to sleep and maybe have a few drinks to relax. As a person, I became much more patient. Instead of letting my temper get the better of me, I’ve learnt to take a breath and keep my cool.

Being A Father Is Rewarding

CJ and his family today
Becoming a father in an unplanned pregnancy and before marriage has its challenges. There were many things that I had to change – it’s no longer a care-free lifestyle where I can do whatever I wanted. If my baby girls cried for food in the middle of the night, I'd wake up to feed them. My priority is now my girls. And it’s all worth it when I see them smiling and laughing back at me. As a father, that’s also the most rewarding part – to see your children happy.

Don’t Regret Your Decisions

If there are friends who find themselves in the same position as I was, I’d say, “Whatever it is, if you have a strong feeling on a decision and feel that it’s right, just go for it. Don’t follow people’s decisions and regret on it later.” Also read These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother’s Love Is Like No Other.
A wedding is only as good as its hashtag. Well, maybe not, but they sure are fun to think about in light of the 100 other details you need to take care of for your impending wedding. Wedding hashtags show the couple's personality, are functional, letting you see the photos your guests have taken, and of course, are the creative embodiment of two become one. Common among young couples, there are even <a href=" hashtag generators out there to help you come up with an innovative hashtag for your big day! In need of some inspiration for your own wedding? Here are 15 of the smartest, most creative hashtags we found that deserve a special shout-out.

1. #JincomPATible

Taking the ‘Jin’ from Pei Jin and the ‘Pat’ from Patrick, this couple came up with this. “Jin” is Hokkien for “very”, so the hashtag reads to mean “very compatible”.

2. #LimmingTheDream

A play on the groom’s surname “Lim”, these lovebirds are now living the dream.

3. #TheAudBentureBegins

The adventure of AUDrey and BEN begins.

4. #OnceInALifeTham

Those who’ve been following the founder of online fashion store Vaingloriousyou, Tricia Ong, will know this one. “Tham” is used to replace time because it’s the groom’s surname.

5. #ChewgetherFioever

The groom’s surname is Chew, and he will be together forever with Fiona.

6. <a href=" Feel the love of Philipp and Lavon.

7. #HansGotCharmed

John Hans tied the knot with beautiful Charmaine, so you could say #HansGotCharmed.

8. #Jun男Mel女

The groom’s name is Jun Long and the bride’s name is Melissa, while “男” is mandarin for guy and “女”, for girl. “Mel” from Melissa can also be read as “Mei”, which is mandarin for pretty. Pretty clever word-play for “handsome guy and pretty girl”!

9. #ThisChanSoHeng

Chan is the groom’s surname and Heng is the bride’s. ‘Heng’ is Hokkien for lucky, so it loosely means the groom is so lucky.

10. #MellyYouSoon

Bride’s name is Melissa (Melly), groom’s surname is Soon – marry you soon.

11. #theWANforNAB

SafWAN is the Wan and only for NABilah.

12. #FongLingInLove

Borrowing the “Fong” from Wei Fong and “Ling” from Wei Ling, this hashtag is a cute play on the phrase “Falling in love”.

13. #YuanMarriedLiao

The groom’s name is Si Yuan and bride’s surname is Liao. Very Singaporean, we like.

14. #HappyLeeWithPris

Groom's surname is Lee, bride’s name is Pris. And they lived happily ever after.

15. #KOKlovesBJ

KOK (Hwa) loves B(ao) J(i). Solid hashtag. Good one bro!

What’s Your Hashtag?

Know of other creative wedding hashtags? Share them with us in the comments! If you’ve been seeing your friends get hitched one by one and wonder if you’re going to end up #ForeverAlone, don’t worry because you can meet others in the same predicament as you <a href=" Also read, The Breakup Reasons These 10 S’poreans Gave Their Ex-es Will Make You Say ‘WTF’

We might be familiar with the old school Singaporean way of “proposing” during our parents' time. Your dad mentions that he had worked a couple of years and saved up before asking mum out for dinner and then popping the question, “Want to get a flat together?” However, that would probably not work in present day, where couples see proposals and Build-to-Order (BTO) flats as two separate entities. Proposals take elaborate planning and often occur in one romantic evening where the guy puts a ring on it (her), while BTOs take about 4 to 5 years of waiting and saving before it is completed. Although being proposed to by surprise might be what every girl (including myself) wants, marriage is still a lifelong commitment between my partner and me. And if getting our BTO is one (of many) obstacles that we are willing to work through together, then that would most likely eliminate the hesitation in my voice when it is time to say “I Do”.

Encouraging communication

The HDB website states a few options for flat types that both of you need to settle on as a couple. Before money comes into play, it is imperative that both of you <a href=" steps towards reaching a consensus about your future living situation. Perhaps it would make your partner and you look at your own flats that you live in with your parents a little differently, and that might encourage you to consider your own preferences on how you would want your own home to look like in the future. These choices, along with many others like whether or not to get a car, will encourage both of you to develop a shared vision together, making the big moment all the more special.

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER’S FINANCIAL HABITS FIRST

Finding out if your partner has a plan to save diligently or is leaving all the saving to you can be a make it or break it decision for most relationships. Registration fees, down-payments, insurance, and monthly housing loan instalments can be a huge burden to bear, and you would certainly want to tie the knot with someone who have worked out a plan to pay off these financial commitments equally. It might also be a good wake-up call for either of you if saving a large sum of money for purchasing property has never been a part of your to-do list until now. Downloading apps to track your spending or saving and setting up collective financial targets under a joint bank account would be the ultimate relationship goal for the both of you to get over any impulsive spending habits as a couple.

MORE MATURE CONVERSATIONS AND DECISIONS

Going on dates will still be an ongoing activity for the both of you but you will notice a difference in how you communicate. A walk through IKEA will no longer only entail making puns out of the Swedish-named furniture or cracking jokes over Swedish meatballs at the food court, it will also be about looking over furniture price tags and budgeting on what to fit in your new home together. The parents that you’ve spent most of your adolescence avoiding are the folks you want to have around more often now. You will start noticing how wise they are in their spending habits and decision-making, and you will begin to regret only talking to them when you wanted more allowance money back then. Very soon, you will wish that your partner or you will turn out to be like either one of your parents.

ROPING IN THE PEOPLE WHO DO CARE

In comparison to showing off a fairytale proposal, people rarely like to flash their financial woes on social media after getting a BTO. Immediate family and close friends are most likely the ones who will be there with you at the BTO signing and when you get your keys to your new flat. These are the people that will be there throughout the journey. They will also be the ones who will help in setting up that magical proposal or wedding in the end. You'll start to see and appreciate the people who stuck your side and helped you through the tough decisions. It'll help you mature and make you more comfortable in the dynamics of your extended social circles in the future.

CUT THE WAITING TIME

A BTO takes about 4 to 5 years to be completed. It will be a pain to wait that long after you've proposed or been proposed to. It can be tricky to also have to figure out the living arrangements after getting married and before the house comes. You’d definitely want to have your personal space with your other half in the shortest amount of time possible and getting the BTO application done and out of the way would reduce some of that stress. While you wait for the flat, you could put your energy into planning the proposal, spending more time with his or her family to know them better, and also narrowing down to the most auspicious date for the wedding. More connections with either side of the family would mean more invites and could also mean more cash coming in to fund your new home in the end. At the very least, you still get more blessings - which you will appreciate.

A MORE MEANINGFUL PROPOSAL

In hindsight, you’re way more aware about each other by going through a BTO first before proposing than vice versa. Yes it is not a complete surprise, but after working a year or two since securing the BTO, this public "I Do" would encompass all of the points above and create the most meaningful and worthwhile proposal possible. Because by then, you would have nailed down all the hard decisions and drawn up your ideal future map. Both of you would have agreed on the house you want, have had mature conversations, and discussed your plans to achieve it together. Your family and friends who have been with you on the journey will be by your side, and by the time he popped the question, you both will be well within reach of getting the keys to the flat.  Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours.