You can never really judge from first impressions. The kindest of souls could be heavily covered in tattoos and piercings, and the most malicious could be leaders at welfare groups. Be it in romance or friendship, some of us tend to attract or be attracted to the ‘wrong’ people. Some, we’d avoid due to the bad vibes we get right from the start. Then, there are those who’d gradually become toxic even though they were angels at the beginning. It could be an abusive lover or an obsessive friend, but unhealthy relationships will take its toll on anyone over time, sucking away our energy and killing us slowly from the inside. For 5 Singapore millennials who have walked away from a toxic relationship, the emotional (and some, physical) scars will never really go away, but at least life’s much better now. *All names have been changed for privacy reasons.

“He Yelled Right Up In My Face Like A Drill Sergeant”

He was a boyfriend from uni who had a big ego, a serious anger management issue, and very stubborn – it was either his way or the high way. I was constantly walking on egg shells when I was with him and angry outbursts was a norm. From taking a fry from his plate to making a casual remark, the smallest things would set him off. It’d lead to him shouting and even throwing things at me. He'd yell at me like a drill sergeant up close in my face while I was backed into a corner, “if you didn't make me angry I wouldn't have shouted (or broken that, or thrown this).” And I would beg for his forgiveness. He chipped glassware, broke my bedside table, and dented my door. He made me cry on my birthday because I glanced at his phone (which was lying around) when a message came in. I went to my birthday dinner with a splotchy face and eyes red and swollen. I couldn't cry in front of him either. I had to hide in the bathroom to cry because he would see me anywhere else in the house and make that a whole other issue. Good days were good but bad days made me want to hurt him and myself. Everything was emotional and mental. I had to graduate and move back to Singapore (away from him) before I could break up with him. I was scared of him doing anything to me or himself if I was still around. Even after, he’d spam call me at work, livid from the breakup and threatening to kill himself. Moving on from the relationship, I realised my number one priority is me. It may sound selfish but I learnt to put my body and state of mind first. I learnt to say "no", and that a guy who doesn't respect you, who mistreats you, and who doesn't see you as their equal, is a guy not worth spending a second with. – Nellie, 24

“'WTF Is Your Problem?' Was Her Reaction To The Littlest Things”

On the second year of our relationship, she no longer wanted to do the things we both used to enjoy together. She'd constantly come up with excuses not to do things with me. Whenever I suggested spending time together, she'd scold me for being needy, “don't you have other people to bother?" She'd get agitated very easily, threatening to end the relationship over the smallest disagreements. "If you're not happy, then break up" became a common phrase in her vocabulary. She would belittle me and make fun of my flaws and insecurities in front of my friends and even lecturers (we were schoolmates). It got to a point where people asked how I was able to deal with a person like her. They started to perceive me as a 'weakling' and that I wasn't ‘the man in the relationship', which really affected my self-confidence. The relationship became an endless cycle of bickering. Whenever I tried to talk things out nicely, she’ll react with this exact phrase: “WTF is your problem”. Even the most innocuous of questions would set her off – I’d casually asked who she was going out with and she'd go, “WTF is your problem”. She’d assume that I had a problem with who she was going out with, which would escalate into a huge argument with her bringing up past arguments. It was mentally and physically draining, but I held on. I believed in her and hoped that things would improve. I wasn’t one to just give up on things. Nearing the end, I surprised her with a trip to Japan in hopes that it’ll salvage our relationship. I had even bought all the tickets and accommodation. But she got angry instead. She was pissed that I planned it without her knowledge because she said she didn’t really want to go overseas (even though we did have plans for a grad trip awhile back). She left me for good a month ago. Despite being the saddest I've ever been, a little part of me is relieved that it's over. I’m thankful that she ended the relationship, as it’s something I never had the courage to do. If there's one thing I learnt out of this, it’s that not everything I lose is a loss. – Damien, 20

“He Was A Good Person To Gossip With, But Not A Friend”

I’ve been friends with S for almost 2 years and we were pretty close. S was a very gossipy kind of guy, so our clique and I saw him as another ‘girlfriend’. He'd always dig out negative stuff from people to gossip about, but he never saw the possibility of being a ‘toxic person’ himself. I don’t usually share my personal problems with others when I’m sad, but I was facing a relationship problem this once and needed to talk to someone about it. After being a close friend to S for 2 years, I decided I could open up to him. We met for over 5 hours where I shared my problems with him. He advised me to break up with my then boyfriend. I felt things weren’t that bad to just end a relationship over, so S suggested a timeout. I thought about it and agreed that a timeout could work, so that was what I did after. My boyfriend pacified me a few days into our time out and we made up. But when I told S the good news, he was angry that I was on good terms with my boyfriend so quickly. S said that this whole thing was bullshit and that I totally wasted his time when I shared my problems with him. He asked me not to look for him anymore because I wasted his time. I was shocked and upset as I had never shared my personal problems with him before. After I clarified that with him and assured him that I won’t ever look for him again, he just did a 360-turn and said that I could still look for him if I wanted. The second incident happened when S told me we should meet up with a common friend, J, before J enlisted. I said okay. S said he would get back to me after he confirmed the meet-up with J. Time went by, S never got back, and I had forgotten about it. On the day we were supposed to meet, S asked about what the plans were for that day. I felt bad that I forgot and had already made plans, so I asked S to relay my apology to J. S wanted me to apologise to J myself instead, so I did. Turns out that S didn't even tell J about the meetup. So I was behaving like an idiot apologising to J about a meetup that wasn’t even going to happen. When I confronted S about it, he said, "I knew you won’t have time for him one what." He found it fun to see me acting like an idiot and laugh at me over it. It was almost like an elaborate prank he set up to make me embarrass myself because he enjoyed ‘the drama’ that came out of it. – Jess, 21

“She HAD To Be Part Of All My Social Circles”

I have been very close to X since we were 15. She was my go-to friend for anything from hanging out to sharing personal problems, and is generally a fun and loyal person. However, there were always things that stopped me from seeing her as my best friend. It started off mild with random anger outbursts or being triggered by littlest things during secondary school. But that part of her went away as we grew older. Then, I started noticing that she’d always work towards ‘doing better’ than me. She had even picked up a particular interest I had – one she used to say she didn’t understand, couldn’t appreciate, and “just not (her) thing”. It seemed like she did it just so she could have ‘the same skill’ I had, or that she just wanted to be a part of that particular interest group. Meanwhile, I knew she still didn’t really like that interest even after picking it up (she told me). She was very possessive and insecure. She had to know whoever I was friends with. And if I went out with our mutual friends without her, she’d get upset that we didn’t ask her along. She had to be part of all my social circles else she’d use her ‘best friend card’ and say that she’s left out. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have other friends either. She had plenty. Once, she got so jealous when a guy she had a crush on started texting me, she stopped talking to me. I did eventually stop texting that guy after ghosting him, but when I tried texting her, she never replied. Just like that, we ‘stopped being friends’ for awhile. It was upsetting that she didn’t trust me enough to know that I would never get close to any guys romantically if it was her love interest. When we started working together, she got jealous that I was closer to our other colleague than she was to him. She was upset that he texted me about non-work stuff but not her. Also, both the guy colleague and I were already attached, so we were merely chatting casually. She’d want to read my messages with him, I’d let her, and then she’d get even more jealous after. While I’d thank her for being a large part of my growing up and forming a piece of who I am today, I’m glad I had the guts to properly ‘end a friendship’ with someone this possessive, insecure, and incredibly volatile. – Barbara, 26

“I Lived In Constant Fear Of Being Hit And Burnt By Cigarette Butts”

He was my 2^nd boyfriend and the one whom I gave my virginity to. The start was rainbow and butterflies but we started arguing a lot over stupid things 4 months in. Only then did I realise that this guy has a bad temper. He started abusing me verbally which soon became physical too. The first time he laid hands on me was when we were arguing and I retorted at him. He walked back and slapped me across my face. He became extremely possessive, controlling what I wore and who I hung out with. We’d even fight over me saying "hi" to a male classmate. He started hitting me more. He'd even push me against the wall and burn my hands with cigarette butts. Even then, I chose to stay with him. The peak of the abuse was when he met up with his ex just so they could call to mentally and emotionally torture me. While I had so many chances to walk away, I chose to stay. I would walk into class with slap marks on my face and eyes bloodshot from crying. People asked why I chose to stay but it really wasn’t easy when any hint of a break up would turn into a war zone between us. Threats to contact my parents and friends just told me to shut up and stick by him. It finally ended when I realised my grades were dropping drastically. I didn’t want my parents to find out about it and moreover, I didn’t want to live in constant fear that anything would result in a big slap or worse. Plus, I found out that he was also seeing another girl. Given that I gave so much to him, ending the relationship hit me hard. I started partying, drinking, and going home drunk. This ratchet life went on for 1.5 years before I told myself to snap out of it and get a grip of life because there’s so much more to it than feeling sorry for myself. This relationship really gave me trust issues. I became extremely guarded towards relationships and I could no longer love anyone 100%. Even till this day, I still have a visible scar from what he had done to me. Instead of crying over it, I take it as a reminder that life will throw you shitty things but what matters is how you deal with it. – Perlyn, 26

Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do

No matter how toxic a relationship becomes, it can be very hard to walk away from people you were so close to. But when you do, you’ll walk away so much stronger and wiser a person. You’ll learn to love yourself more because only then can you <a href=" loving another person. Also read, 9 Moments In National Day History That Made Us Damn Proud To Be Singaporean.  

We used to think that once you pass a certain mark, like 2 or 3 years into a relationship, it will last forever. But in a time where things like work (or DOTA) can take precedence over replying a text message from our other half, it can be tough to maintain a relationship. We realised how common it is for relationships to fail despite the years. Just within our social circles, we've friends who had to abruptly close a major chapter of their love life – just like that, 6, 8, and even 9 year’s worth of time can become nothing more than just bittersweet memories. It made us wonder: can a relationship really last in this era? We sought out to find the answers, and we found them in photos of our longtime couple friends. Here are the photos that captured the essence of love and growth, of when they first started dating compared to them today.

"We Treasure The Smallest Things"

Nicholas & Jasmine – 9 Years Together The biggest "challenge" has to be keeping the relationship and romance going and constantly nurturing it, as it is easy to get so used to each other that we take things for granted. The smallest and simplest things in relationships that get overlooked are often the main reasons for deteriorating relationships. We both do our best to make sure we are aware of this and we treasure one another. Communication is something we both hold dearly as our foundation. We're able to be honest with our feelings and come to an understanding to resolve problems together. The smallest actions like kisses and hugs count too. Or showing appreciation by making each other our favourite drinks, or watching our favourite movie when either of us feels down make a difference.

"He's Always The Bigger Person, And She's Appreciative"

Samantha & Jeremy – 7 Years Together To Samantha, a big part of keeping the relationship going is because of him: “He's so gracious, patient and accepting of my shortcomings; especially my possessiveness and temper. If I dated myself, I would have dumped my ass a long time ago.” When there are unhappiness and quarrels, it's very difficult to come to a compromise. It’s difficult to find a solution and makeup when both of us are upset. We both know it and he’s usually the bigger person who puts emotions aside and initiate for us to make up.

"We Trust Each Other, And Never Carry An Argument Overnight"

Cherie & Shao Yong – 6 Years Together If we can wrap up the essence of our relationship, it is trust and communication. On trust: we don’t give each other any reason to doubt. We are completely transparent with each other and this builds up the robust level of trust we have in each other. We are comfortable enough to not interfere or restrict each other's own social life too. On communication: whenever don’t meet, we make it a point to still call each other every night to talk about our day or even just to say goodnight. Whenever we argue, we make sure that we only move on after we have accepted each other’s feelings and made peace with it. We never carry an argument overnight.

"It's Normal For Us To Fight, But We Forgive And Move On"

Matthew & Li Ying – 4.5 Years Together Throughout the years, we've learnt to deal with each other's annoying habits. For example, I have learnt to deal with Li Ying being a grammar Nazi and correcting mistakes mid-sentence, while she has learnt to wait for me to take the perfect photo of food before we can eat. So there’s a lot of acceptance, patience, and understanding. It’s normal for us to fight a lot, but at the same time, there is a lot of forgiveness in our relationship.

"We Choose To Love Each Other Even When We 'Hate' Each Other"

Mieko & CJ – 8 Years Together The fact that we have been together since he was 20 and I, 16, we've gone through so many milestones together: studies, NS, work, and eventually the unexpected appearance of baby Dayna. We definitely have had many arguments and major fights, and it resulted in a lot of heartbreak. We can’t specifically pinpoint any particular reason or factor that kept us going through it all. However, it truly boils down to loving each other the 'right' way – being able to love each other even when you ‘hate’ each other. Love is a choice, and choosing to love someone is not easy. It's a choice we make every day, through thick and thin.

"Two Headstrong Personalities, But We Compromise"

Ryan & Jia Yi – 8 Years Together Honesty and compromise play a big part in our relationship. We are both very headstrong personalities and if we hadn't made conscious efforts to compromise with each other, we honestly wouldn't have made it this far. Also, one of the major hurdles we had (and I'm sure many couples have) was the assumption that the other party would automatically understand our needs and desires. We're not mind-readers and we’ve learnt to make efforts to tell each other why we're upset instead of just begrudging each other for not "getting it".

"We Stay Cheesy With Verbal Compliments"

Pat & John – 9 Years Together Just like other couples, we've been through many milestones together. Completing NS, buying a house, proposal, and wedding planning are just some. But one of the biggest challenges for us was riding the waves of my (Pat's) anxiety issues together. Throughout my darkest times, John stuck by me. He fought along with me, and for me. One of our common love languages is words of affirmation. Verbal compliments and appreciation can go a long way, and after dating for 9 years, we're still cheesy as ever.

"We Laugh At Each Other, And We Laugh Together"

Celine & Ivan – 4 Years Together There's a lot of love and patience between us. We understand each other’s personalities and accommodate not just to each other but also our families. We do silly things together, laugh at each other and laugh together. We learn together and grow together as individuals and also as a couple.

"We Address Our Problems As Best Friends And Lovers"

Shane and Nikki – 18 Years Together We’ve gone through so much together from secondary school and university to surviving army days. We’ve gotten married and built up our first home, and now, celebrating the birth of our first child. We've always been best friends so our friendship laid a strong foundation for the relationship, and we are able to communicate really well with one another on so many grounds. It’s important and helps us address our problems together instead of running away from them.

Keep The Faith Alive

Granted, love isn’t just rainbows and butterflies. While it takes a large amount of effort and work to sustain a relationship, these couples have proven that it still is possible. And the benefits you reap from a happy, lasting relationship is worth every fight for. On the other hand, if you’re searching for someone to fight alongside you on your life journey, you can try your luck <a href=" Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours.

Figuring out my sexuality was a struggle. As most LGBTQ will attest, there are no surefire signs, no criteria, no checkboxes you can go through to determine whether or not you’re it. The only way to figure it out is to live your life, feel what you feel, and eventually, piece it all together—at least that’s how it happened for me.

Just A Phase?

Growing up, I was always a tomboy. I went to an all girls’ primary school and my schoolmates would often tease me and make fun of me for it. At the time, I thought nothing of it. When I was 10, I became really close to a girl. We were best friends in school and would hang out together all the time. I felt like I liked her more than just a friend. But of course, at that age, I didn’t understand it. Thereafter, I had some innocent crushes on girls as a pre-teen and teenager, but I didn’t think too much of that either. As I was trying to understand why I had such feelings, I spoke to my mum and siblings about these girl crushes. We all believed it was a phase I would eventually grow out of. As I grew older, I had my fair share of guy friends, but I never liked them as more than just bros. And as time went by, I gradually realized that I was different.

Keeping A Part Of Me A Secret

It was a very different time back when I thought I might be gay. It wasn’t a big social issue. There was very little talk about sexuality in the media and in society, and not many people were gay—at least, not that I was aware of. I didn’t personally know anyone who was gay. Because it seemed so rare back then, I worried constantly about how people would perceive me and treat me if they found out I was gay. I was also afraid of how it would affect the people around me; I was scared that people would treat the ones close to me differently because of their friendship with me. As a teenager, whenever I went to church, I felt like I had to change. I tried to change, tried to feel differently. And when I couldn’t, I buried my feelings and kept them to myself. When nothing worked, I got upset with myself. I was angry that I didn’t change. Now, I realise it’s because I couldn’t. This is just the way I am. Being gay and having no one to talk to about it, it was tough, trying to make sense of how I felt and why I felt that way. I avoided thinking about it, and when I did share my struggles with those who accepted me for who I am, it felt like no one truly understood. For a long time, I felt alone and wished I knew someone who shared the same difficulties and challenges as me. Eventually, after a long and hard struggle with myself, I came to terms with the fact that I was “different”. I knew there was no running away from me.

Loved, Supported, And It Meant Everything

My mum and siblings were the first few people I came out to. It wasn’t a complete surprise to them, considering that I spoke to them about the girl crushes I had in the past. It was my dad I was more afraid to tell, because he’s a bit sterner. It took me a while longer, but eventually, I summoned up the courage to come out to him when I was 24 or 25. I still remember how scared and nervous I was up to the point I actually said the words to him. In the weeks that followed, I could tell that he was trying his best to understand it – to understand why I was this way. I felt bad that I, too, couldn’t explain how this happened.

Not Everyone Understands

Even though the people that matter most to me accepted me for who I was, not everyone received the news well. I’ve had my fair share of nasty reactions from friends and even complete strangers on the street. In fact, just recently, when I was out shopping at a mall, the mother of a little girl followed me just to tell me how offensive and gross it was that I didn’t ‘dress like a girl’ or have long hair. She wanted me to apologise for scaring her daughter with my ‘lesbian appearance’. Apparently, the little girl had asked her mum why my hair was so short. It wasn’t about how I looked or how I behaved; my hair alone was enough reason for her to come up to me to confront me. I ignored her remarks and tried to get away, but she followed me and made harsh remarks about my lifestyle, saying things like, “I don't care about how you choose to live your life but say sorry for confusing my daughter and making her scared.” Dirty looks from strangers are normal for me. So are harsh words from the people around. Even though I’m proud of who I am, things like these sometimes still get to me.

Still The Same Person, Regardless Of My Sexuality

Accepted or not, it was good to get everything off my chest; coming to terms with who I was and being able to say it out loud to the people I love liberated me. Those who stuck around realised that beyond the label of ‘lesbian’, I was still the same person with the same heart and character. I am still the same Sam Koh, regardless of who I fall in love with. I’m 29 years old, a barista at my own café and I’m also happily attached to my partner Roslyn. We’ve been together for about 8 months now, and I’ve never been happier. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for some of the people I know who have been forced to stay in the closet and to put up a front all their lives because their families do not approve. Everyday, I know how fortunate I am to have people around me who accept me exactly as I am. I am more than grateful for a family who lets me figure out my life on my own.

LGBT In Singapore

Being lesbian has definitely left me feeling lonely and excluded at times. Still, I wouldn’t wish away the things I’ve experienced and the fact that I’m gay. I, and the LGBTQ community, are not gay just because we want to be different. We’re not here to challenge heterosexuality. We’re not asking anyone to be gay. We just want to be accepted for who we are. At the end of the day, we are just regular human beings who want to be able to love who we love, free of condemnation. To have people frown upon your relationship is just like having parents who don’t approve of who you're dating, but worse. We have total strangers disapproving of our choices too. It’s frustrating. Thankfully, times are changing and so are attitudes. Still, there is more to be done. I hope one day, people will be more open and accepting. I hope one day, people will see beyond the labels and the prejudice, and realise that all we want is the freedom to love. - To show our support for the freedom to love, we will be publishing stories under our new series My Sexuality, My Right. In it, we share the journeys of Singaporeans who are fighting for their right to love, and who embrace their LGBTQ identity. Also read, Sexual Harassment Not That Unusual – S’porean Girls Reveal Their Nasty Encounters With Perverts.

As we edge into our twenties, we begin to accept the fact that we are really no longer kids. Most of us would be either completing our studies or building up a career. It’s scary to even think of having a baby ourselves. Being a parent is no easy feat. It's even tougher when you're young and hadn't planned to be one yet. We often hear about the trials and tribulations from girls who went through teenage pregnancy, or from being a young mother. However, rarely do we get to hear from the dads who’ve stuck by the ladies through such situations. This Father’s Day, we reached out to 29-year-old Charles John (CJ). This is his story of being a young father to a child out of wedlock.

Getting 'Caught In A Situation'

Back then, I had been dating my girlfriend, Mieko, for 2 years. We both used to smoke and drink a lot, but one day she just couldn’t stand the smell of smoke anymore. That was when we suspected that she could be pregnant. Furthermore, she had missed her period for one and a half months. It was only after a pregnancy test kit from 7-11 and a visit to polyclinic later that our suspicions were confirmed. Mieko was pregnant. I was going to be a father.

Her Parents Gave An Ultimatum

I was shocked, of course. A part of me was in panic mode because we were young and not married. But at the same time, I was happy and excited that we were going to have our own flesh and blood. We didn't have big doubts on keeping the baby because we felt it was only right to, but our parents didn’t take it very well. When Mieko told her parents, they gave her an ultimatum to abort the baby or be thrown out of the house. We both struggled with the decision to abort after that. But after seeing the first ultrasound at the hospital – we just couldn’t bear to abort. Even after Mieko told her parents, I struggled to break the news to mine. Mieko eventually texted my mother about it and my mother was shocked. She reasoned that life would be difficult as we were financially very unstable. To add on to the stress we were facing, she is also a practicing Catholic so she wanted Mieko and I to get married before our baby was born. However, Mieko was only 18 and considered a minor so she needed consent from her parents for marriage. Her parents did not approve since Mieko was still very young. We eventually waited till she was 21 and got married.

Harsh Realities

Mieko was only 18 then and working part-time while doing her diploma. I was 22 and just started my first full-time job at Keppel shipyard. Reality hit that we weren’t financially stable to support ourselves, much less bring a child up. My worries were mainly the financial aspects, but this can be worked on. On the negative thoughts people may have of me, I think nobody dared to say negative things to me directly. But I can’t deny that there were sentiments that bothered me slightly. I just ignored it and concentrated on our happiness.

Making The Decision

Despite everything, Mieko and I decided to keep the baby. We are Roman Catholics and it is against our religion to abort a baby because we believe that every child is a gift from God. We also felt that this would be a new and interesting chapter of our lives together that will better us in our lifestyles, making us more responsible adults.

No Longer Young And Wild

There were definitely many things that we had to change. Before, we would spend freely without thinking. I’d spend a lot on things like cigarettes and alcohol, and go clubbing every week. When Dayna happened, I stayed home more often so I could save more money. I told myself that I’d never allow myself to go ‘bankrupt’ ever again. We've been thriftier. We don’t go clubbing often anymore. Even when we do, it’s probably once in a few months. Our entire paycheck now goes towards daily necessities, bills, and our kids. Compared to our younger, wilder days, we now meet up with friends over meals or they would come over to our place. We’d just chill at night after the girls have gone to sleep and maybe have a few drinks to relax. As a person, I became much more patient. Instead of letting my temper get the better of me, I’ve learnt to take a breath and keep my cool.

Being A Father Is Rewarding

Becoming a father in an unplanned pregnancy and before marriage has its challenges. There were many things that I had to change – it’s no longer a care-free lifestyle where I can do whatever I wanted. If my baby girls cried for food in the middle of the night, I'd wake up to feed them. My priority is now my girls. And it’s all worth it when I see them smiling and laughing back at me. As a father, that’s also the most rewarding part – to see your children happy.

Don’t Regret Your Decisions

If there are friends who find themselves in the same position as I was, I’d say, “Whatever it is, if you have a strong feeling on a decision and feel that it’s right, just go for it. Don’t follow people’s decisions and regret on it later.” Also read These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother’s Love Is Like No Other.

These days, you can no longer assume a couple will get married just because they've been together for a long time.  We all know of people who've had to say goodbye to long-term relationships--1 year, 2 year, and even 5 year relationships.  The sad truth is there are times when you just don't figure into someone else's future. Perhaps it's because they're not ready to take the relationship to the next level; perhaps you've grown apart, and the love you once shared fizzled out. In real life, things just doesn't pan out the way they do in the movies. We reached out to 6 Singaporean millennials and asked them to share why they ended things with their long-time lovers. Here are their heartfelt stories. 

1. “He started saying things like women belong in the kitchen”

He started passing snarky comments like how women should be in the kitchen, making food for the family, or how we should be seen with a broom in our hands. It may seem like nothing, but over time, I started to realise how misogynistic he was as a person. What’s worse, he would say it in front of my brother, and my brother started making such remarks himself. Not cool. He had a great personality, likeable with friends and respectful with family. But I just couldn’t see a future with a man who’s so misogynistic. – Sammie, 25, 2 year relationship

2. “She went on a full day hike with a guy she knew I didn’t like and only told me afterwards”

She decided to go on a full day hike alone with this guy, and I was not informed. Furthermore, she didn’t reply or answer any of my messages and phone calls. She only told me about it when she got home at the end of the day. Her rationale for not telling me was "I knew you would be pissed if I told you." She knew full well that I didn’t like the guy, because I knew he was quite a player.  Going on a hike with that guy without my knowledge, ignoring me the entire day and confessing to me only after – I had no idea what to make of it. Yes, I would have gotten upset if she had told me beforehand but I wouldn't forbid her from going if she really wanted to. I really didn't like that she used my feelings against me. That was the start of the end. – Neo, 30, 2 year relationship

3. “He wanted a trophy wife - a pretty, young thing”

I once dated a significantly older man. He was mature, charismatic, independent, and free-spirited. He taught me a lot about how to see the world and how to love. Strangely, he wanted the polar opposite in a partner: a trophy wife – a pretty, young thing. I really liked him but definitely couldn't see a future with him. We never talked about our status as a couple. Throughout the relationship, I would tell myself that I deserved more than someone who was so non-committal. We went out for close to a year, and I figured he was seeing other people throughout that time. I knew it wasn’t going to work out because I am not the ‘trophy wife’ type. I couldn’t fully let go of him until I realised that I liked him because I saw in him who I wanted to be. That made me come to the realisation that having someone around to curb your loneliness and to project your dreams on is not the same thing as love.  I’ve since grown to be the things I used to like in him: independent, confident, open-minded. I've seen him on the street once with another girl but didn't flinch. I just felt sad for him because I don't think he has one thing that I have: the ability to truly love someone 100%. – Tammy, 26, 1 year relationship

4. “He ‘don’t know’ if I’m in any part of his future plans”

Throughout the 5 years I was with him, we hardly spoke about our future plans. He would brush it off whenever I brought it up. I didn’t harp on it as he hated discussing this topic, and heart-to-heart talks in general. He felt like it was a bit too deep for him. At one point, I decided it was about time we had a proper discussion. I asked if he had any plans to settle down and he said he had no plans of doing so anytime soon. I reasoned that it didn’t have to to be now, but perhaps in two years time. He said it was too early for him and that he didn’t want to plan for marriage. He always hated talking about marriage and I didn’t know why. He said that I was pressuring him. I wanted to settle down by 30, but he had no timeline at all. I asked if I was in any part of his future plans, and he just said, “I don’t know.” He was 28 when that happened. In two years, he’d have been 30 and we would have been together for 7 years. If we had just started dating or even when I was 25 (and him, 26), I would understand if it was too early for talk about marriage. But I think at the age of 27, I need to map out my future already. The thought of having to get to know someone else all over again sucks, but it beats continuing a relationship with someone I don’t even know if I’ll be able to settle down with. – Zaf, 27, 5 year relationship

5. “We wanted different things in the relationship and in life”

We started talking about the future, and the conversation became about what we were looking for in our future lives together. I realised we wanted different things and that we were two different types of people. I'm an extroverted person. I gain my energy from social interactions and from conversations. He needed personal space and a quiet woman who does her job in the background. It wasn't until we were talking about buying a house that I felt something was wrong. He wanted the kind of wife the Chinese call "small woman (小女人)"; someone who'd listen to him. I wanted a life where we would support each other in our respective areas. He always had this air about him, like he thought he knew better because he was older. The moment he said what I wanted was too idealistic, and that what he wanted was realistic, I knew it wasn't going to work out. – Phyllis, 24, 1.5 year relationship

6. “When I felt disgusted at the thought of kissing him, which was really weird”

I think it’s true when people say NS is a true test of a relationship. We had been together for over 2 years and he was serving his NS. We had much less time together, and during the times we did meet, I spent most of the time watching him sleep at home. I began to get irritated by the smallest things he did and didn’t do. It was a dilemma for me because I wanted more from him, while at the same time knowing it wasn’t fair for me to demand much from a guy who’s already so tired when out from camp. I started to question if I was with him because it was comfortable or because I actually loved him. I didn’t want to be an ass and leave him while he was still serving, but when I started feeling disgusted whenever we kissed, I knew I no longer had the feelings I used to have for him. – Belinda, 26, 2 year relationship

No Future Together

We all have our own reasons for ending things with our partners, no matter how long we were with them. From the stories above, it seems like it all boils down to one common factor: not being able to see a future together. After all, what’s the point of staying in a relationship if either of you can’t imagine spending your lives with the other? Not only will you waste your youth, you’ll be wasting precious time and passing up chances to meet the <a href=" right one’. Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours!

A wedding is only as good as its hashtag. Well, maybe not, but they sure are fun to think about in light of the 100 other details you need to take care of for your impending wedding. Wedding hashtags show the couple's personality, are functional, letting you see the photos your guests have taken, and of course, are the creative embodiment of two become one. Common among young couples, there are even <a href=" hashtag generators out there to help you come up with an innovative hashtag for your big day! In need of some inspiration for your own wedding? Here are 15 of the smartest, most creative hashtags we found that deserve a special shout-out.

1. #JincomPATible

Taking the ‘Jin’ from Pei Jin and the ‘Pat’ from Patrick, this couple came up with this. “Jin” is Hokkien for “very”, so the hashtag reads to mean “very compatible”.

2. #LimmingTheDream

A play on the groom’s surname “Lim”, these lovebirds are now living the dream.

3. #TheAudBentureBegins

The adventure of AUDrey and BEN begins.

4. #OnceInALifeTham

Those who’ve been following the founder of online fashion store Vaingloriousyou, Tricia Ong, will know this one. “Tham” is used to replace time because it’s the groom’s surname.

5. #ChewgetherFioever

The groom’s surname is Chew, and he will be together forever with Fiona.

6. <a href=" Feel the love of Philipp and Lavon.

7. #HansGotCharmed

John Hans tied the knot with beautiful Charmaine, so you could say #HansGotCharmed.

8. #Jun男Mel女

The groom’s name is Jun Long and the bride’s name is Melissa, while “男” is mandarin for guy and “女”, for girl. “Mel” from Melissa can also be read as “Mei”, which is mandarin for pretty. Pretty clever word-play for “handsome guy and pretty girl”!

9. #ThisChanSoHeng

Chan is the groom’s surname and Heng is the bride’s. ‘Heng’ is Hokkien for lucky, so it loosely means the groom is so lucky.

10. #MellyYouSoon

Bride’s name is Melissa (Melly), groom’s surname is Soon – marry you soon.

11. #theWANforNAB

SafWAN is the Wan and only for NABilah.

12. #FongLingInLove

Borrowing the “Fong” from Wei Fong and “Ling” from Wei Ling, this hashtag is a cute play on the phrase “Falling in love”.

13. #YuanMarriedLiao

The groom’s name is Si Yuan and bride’s surname is Liao. Very Singaporean, we like.

14. #HappyLeeWithPris

Groom's surname is Lee, bride’s name is Pris. And they lived happily ever after.

15. #KOKlovesBJ

KOK (Hwa) loves B(ao) J(i). Solid hashtag. Good one bro!

What’s Your Hashtag?

Know of other creative wedding hashtags? Share them with us in the comments! If you’ve been seeing your friends get hitched one by one and wonder if you’re going to end up #ForeverAlone, don’t worry because you can meet others in the same predicament as you <a href=" Also read, The Breakup Reasons These 10 S’poreans Gave Their Ex-es Will Make You Say ‘WTF’