Tag: girlfriend

Slightly over a month ago, I watched as he walked down the aisle with his bride. 12 years ago, it was me whose hands he held. But when I saw him holding up his bride’s gown train and guiding her up the stage, it was joy I felt and not jealousy. I was, in fact, proud of him for finally moving on to the next stage in life: getting married. It was a strange feeling, because he was my first love. What makes it even more bizarre is that he had cheated on me twice. Yet, he is now someone I consider a BFF (Best Friend Forever).
“What! Why/How are you still friends with him?”
Is something that I get all the time whenever anyone learns about this unlikely friendship of mine, and understandably so. Most of us are sceptical of being friends with exes or anyone we had a romantic endeavour with, let alone exes who have done us wrong. And cheating is right up there on the list of wrongs together with murder, for the stab to our heart is like a murder of our soul. I exaggerate, but anyone who has had their heart broken would know that awful feeling too well. Even if the relationship hadn’t ended on such a bad note, it is hard to go from lovers to friends without the awkwardness of having to deal with the remnants of any unresolved feelings of love (or hate) from either party. Chemistry can be a wonky bitch and the flame could be reignited at any moment. Who’s to say either party wouldn’t fall prey to that? Afterall, when one has shared such an intimate part of one’s self with someone else, it can be hard to maintain a relationship with that person with no romantic attachments. Any feelings of love, lust, hope, or anticipation would tip the scales of a platonic friendship. Furthermore, remaining as friends with an ex is only going to make things complicated. Regardless of how mutual a breakup is, there will always be wounds from a failed relationship. Contrarily, it’s easy to use the guise of friendship to mask the hope one has on patching up. Just like how a cut will never heal if one were to keep poking at the wound, remaining in constant contact with someone we’ve fallen out with or even stalking their social media accounts is just going to make it harder to fully move on. It is the same even with a close friend or family member. At some point, we’ve all had that someone whom we’ve fallen out with, a tie that we’ve lost due to a multitude of reasons and wished things hadn’t panned out so badly. It could have been a silly spat or a major miscommunication, but it’s a common belief that once one has gone down that road, there is no return. But there is, because I’ve been through it.

The Painful But Worthy Transition From Lovers To Friends

Calling him as an ‘ex’ doesn’t even quite cut it. It is as vague as sketching out the outline to an elaborate painting. He was the one who taught me the meaning of romance. He wooed the diehard romantic in me. As cliche as it sounds, he was to me what Prince Charming was to Cinderella - someone I had never expected to fall for, but swept me away and gave me the fairytale I always dreamt of as a young and innocent teenage girl. I knew what it meant to have butterflies in my stomach because of him, to smile like a fool whenever I reread every corny text he sent, to lie to my parents so I can go out on dates, and I was so ready to spend the rest of my life with him - naive, I know. Then again, some say the first love is always the most beautiful, and it was for me. Yet, he was also the one who taught me the meaning of heartbreak in the worst possible way. When he confessed to kissing another girl a year into our relationship, I was perplexed and hurt, but still too smitten to see the red flags. Then, when I found out that he had been seeing another girl a little later, I was shattered. It was the first time I truly understood what it means to feel like ‘my spirit has left the body’. I remember having to study for O levels in tears from the regular breakdowns recalling how he couldn’t make the decision between me and the other girl. “I need more time. Wait for me, I’ll settle this. I promise,” he left me hanging with a glimmer of hope as I struggled to stay sane while juggling the stress of such major exam papers. Eventually, he chose her. It was hard to come to terms with the end. I knew it was going to hurt, but the other part of heartbreak that no one told me about was the embarrassment that came with having to ‘disappoint’ his brother and cousin, both of whom I had grown close to, and the regret that I will never be able to fulfill that role that they had accorded me for: family. Breaking up was only the start because ironically, he would go on to seek my help to woo the girl he had broken up with me for. And I did what he asked of me because if I couldn’t make him happy, I hoped that he could at least find happiness with someone else who can. He would go on to chase that same girl for the next 10 years, only to give up after reaching the limit he had set for himself before settling down with someone else. As much as the guilt he felt for having been a bastard to me, I’ve always felt guilty towards him - that girl never accepted him for she couldn’t get over the fact that she was a third party back then. Looking back, though I had loved him deeply, I feel like I was the third party instead, that I was that barrier that prevented him from being with his One. I was the one who caused him unrequited love for 10 years. And it pained me whenever I saw him drift in and out of relationships, because we both knew about his love for that one girl. Through it all, he taught me the meaning of truly loving someone. Granted, it could have stemmed from my romantic love for him back then and it did take a long time before I can say,  without a doubt, that ours is a friendship void of any romantic feelings. A year of self-deceit and one last ‘hook up that shouldn’t have happened’ with him which culminated in more than an hour-long cry in a school toilet before I honestly had closure.
Life Goes On
Image Credit: GIPHY
People ask me why I bothered to be so noble as to enduring my heartbreak back then and even blaming myself for his unrequited love. I’d say it’s a mix of my stupid innocence and the value I saw in that relationship, even if it was reduced from romantic to platonic. After having co-owned a part of your life with someone, that person becomes almost like an extension of you. They will always know a part of you that no one else does, just like you know of them. Finding someone else with the same dynamics and whom you know inside out like an ex does is extremely difficult, and almost impossible once work becomes your life. Of course, that isn’t to say that I am friends with all my exes or that all of my relationships, platonic or romantic, are perfect. There are friends I’ve fought with and exes whom I vowed to never see again for the rest of my life, but that doesn’t mean that every relationship, especially romantic ones, have to end badly. It doesn’t matter if the whole world dictates that you cannot be in contact with an ex or an ex-friend because ultimately, you are the one who will face the consequences of your actions. For me, keeping this particular friendship is only possible because of the mutual understanding between my BFF and me. A big contributor is the respect we we both give our own partners to be completely honest and transparent with our histories, and the acceptance and understanding they give in return. Having accepted that our romantic chapters are closed, I see this friendship as an invaluable one that I will never be able to find anywhere else. The maturity and openness we have towards each other is one that is only possible because of all the shit that we’ve weathered through as a couple and then as BFFs. He is the one person whom I would never feel shy or grossed out sharing or hearing explicit details about sexual experiences with and from, and the one person I know I can turn to even if I needed help to cover up a murder (which, I proclaim, is very unlikely to happen). And if I had to do it all over again, heartbreak and all, I would. Also read: I Bared It All For You, But It Was Barely Love. (Header Image Credit: Sarandy Westfall)
"I don't usually do this but can I kiss you?" Would you find it weird if your boyfriend asked you for permission before he kissed you? That’s what my friend Edd had asked me a while ago. I can’t remember what our first kiss was like, but if he did I probably would have nodded, or just smiled and went in for the kiss myself. “What if it was a dude you weren’t so sure about yet, like you are interested but you’re still not 100% sure if you’re going to date him for real?” Even with dates, I’ve always been forthcoming with my kisses – ugh, am I just too easy? But I was already romantically invested in those dates I kissed and it just felt like a natural progression of our feelings and affection for each other. Something that holding hands or hugging wouldn’t quite capture. It was straightforward to me. If I like you romantically, I would want to feel closer to you, and that would translate to physical intimacy. But as simple as it is to me, it isn’t for Edd – perhaps it’s just more difficult for guys.

Romantic Interest And Consent

Having missed one too many shots at a happily ever after, what went wrong? Edd seemed to have an extremely different perspective of how physical intimacy played a part in relationships. Edd would hit the home run as soon as it was appropriate because physical intimacy is the ultimate shield from the dreaded friend zone. Touch was also his way of showing that he’s interested. Now I started to understand why the girls in Edd’s life seemed to flee. Men give love for sex, women give sex for love – things might have changed in this modern era but I believe this quote still holds true. Women still needs to feel an emotional investment and connection for sex to count as love-making, or else we might interpret it as a quick touch and go. There are better ways to demonstrate your interest on the first date instead of diving straight into the deep end of sex. Because his advances never worked well, Edd wondered if getting consent helps. But, “I don't know if it's because of the toxic macho culture I've been exposed to, I've been led to believe that women find it kind of weak for a man to ask for a kiss or for sex.” Gone are the days where men have to be the archetypal, dominant head of the household. Those typically masculine qualities do help make a man seem more attractive but there are many other equally or even more important traits that women seek for today, like humour and stability. Yes, asking for permission may come across as shy and insecure, but it is better than scaring women away for being overconfident or too physically forthcoming. Contrarily, I wouldn’t think any less of a guy’s masculinity if he asked to kiss me. It shows me two very valuable traits: that he’s polite and respectful – he cares enough about how I would feel and respects me enough to check before treading on into ‘sensitive territories’. I’d definitely tell my girls about it and giggle about how silly or cute it was of him to ask, but that all depends on how interested I already am in him.

How Fast Is Too Fast?

I went around the office to find out the ‘best’ time to kiss or engage in coitus. After making my colleagues feel paiseh with clearly too many personal questions in the middle of a work day, and doing some more research, I concluded: there’s no answer. There is just no right or wrong when it comes to love and no model timeline to physical intimacy. Everyone’s got their own ‘pace’. No one has the right to impose rules on when to start getting intimate in a relationship either. Neither should we compare or worry about how fast is too fast. What’s norm for someone else may not be for you and if you’re not comfortable, then what’s the point? The chemistry between two individuals is different for every duo. You may feel like long lost lovers with one person but with another, it could take several dates before it feels ‘right’. As vague as it sounds, there are signs you can always count on to determine if this moment is ‘right’ for cozying up to each other.

Reading The Signs

Brush your fingers against mine, inch closer so our shoulders touch, let your hands linger a little longer around my waist after we take a photo – if I don’t flinch, that’s when you know I’m ready for interlocking fingers and warmer hugs. Any verbal consent would only kill the mood and take away the excitement! Kisses are a little trickier, you have to be sensitive to the energy around you. It could be that extra few seconds of lingering after you bid her farewell at the void deck, or the way she looks at you intently, or in the most obvious case, if she doesn't turn away when you inch your face close to hers - not in a creepy 'I want to eat your face way' of course, just purse your lips a little, close your eyes... If you find a way to slide your tongue into the game, then you’ve unlocked the next phase: making out.

Then, there’s sex – the fine line of consent separating rape and love-making. It doesn’t have to be as awkward as “would you like to have sex with me?”. A simple “you wanna do it?” between breaths works too. Else, consent comes in many non-verbal ways too: if she doesn't brush your hands away from her private areas, when she presses her body against you or initiates even more intimate behaviour, it's a good sign. Obviously in this case, if a girl says, "no," or "I don't want," she's not playing reverse psychology. As modern and liberal as we have evolved to be, most of us (Asians) are too shy to speak our minds in fear of rejection or ‘throwing face’. This is especially so for women – most of us still wait for men to make the first move. I’m guilty of being passive aggressive myself, keeping my dissatisfaction and preferences to myself hoping that my partner would magically read my mind but obviously, no one’s Professor X here. In fact, our blockhead boyfriends will appreciate that we lied on their shoulders or gave them a peck on the cheek first.

Where Do You Draw The Line?

I think it’s still safer to know someone better before getting intimately involved. Once you do, it can be hard to tell if you really like the person for the wholesome meaning of a relationship or if you’re just sexually attracted. And it is such a waste to mess up a chance at a happy ending just because you went in for that kiss she wasn’t quite ready for. Regardless, be confident and don’t be swayed by what others think is too fast or too slow. Find your own pace, read the cues, and go with the flow. *Name has been changed for privacy reasons Also read, Wet, Weird, And Adorable – Millennials Recount How They Lost Their First Kiss.
If you're lucky, you'll meet the guy or girl of your dreams, fall in love with each other and settle down happily ever after without a hitch. But in reality, you will probably fall in love with a couple of ‘wrong people’ before you meet "The One" - at least for most of us. And the journey there will be a perilous one filled with heartbreak and regrets. Whether you're healing from a breakup, single and searching, or in a relationship, here are 8 advice on love and relationships. These millennials made these mistakes in their previous relationships, we hope you don't have to go through what they did. * Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

“Love Someone For Who They Are”

In my first relationship, I had a whole fantasy of an ideal mate and a version of her in my mind that wasn't her. Because of that, there were expectations, which led to plenty of disappointments. I've learnt that who you envision her to be or what she is in your head isn’t necessarily who she really is in person. I've come to accept and love a person for who they really are. – Andrew, 25

“Don’t Force Yourself To Like What You Don’t Like”

Think for yourself and consider what’s best for you. You don’t have to like a certain thing just because your partner likes it. If your partner loves to game and spends a lot of time gaming but you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it. Don’t waste time forcing yourself to grow an interest in something you obviously know you have none in. You do you and let him do his. – Mary, 26

“Keep Your Communication Between Each Other Strong”

I was in Poly Year 1 while she was in Sec 4. It was exams period and we assumed that we were both busy so we didn’t text each other as much. On hindsight, we actually had time to talk even if it’s just for awhile. From then on, we talked lesser and lesser and her feelings slowly faded away. I think that to keep a relationship alive, it’s important to keep the communication strong and make an effort to update each other on what's going on in our lives. – Neil, 20

“Don't Lose Yourself”

I always believed in giving my best or not giving at all. I wanted to make her the happiest person in the world so I gave her my all, even at my own expense. She didn't like my secondary school friends so I left them. I learnt that before you be with someone who makes you happy, you should be contented with yourself first. Remember to also love yourself. – Jun Shen, 24

“Fate plays a part”

I've learnt that soulmates are not meant to complete us but to complement us. These relationships are intended to teach lessons so that we evolve and be the catalyst for change in life. You may have met your soul mate or someone you feel a deep connection with but you have to accept that it doesn't necessarily mean you're meant to be together. Sometimes, it's who you meet that has their goals, dreams, and timings aligned with yours. – Chantel, 25

“Pay Attention To Their Actions, Not Their Words”

Someone can say they love you, but if they don't show it or if they physically, mentally or emotionally bully and harm you, that's not love. Also, how a guy talks about their mother is how they're going to treat you in their relationship. If all he has to say about his mother are negative things, you can bet that it's how he's going to talk about you to others. – Natasha, 24

“Forgive Yourself”

I have been cheated on before, cheated on someone before, and got played before. One thing I've learnt from it all is to forgive yourself because everyone makes mistakes. It's hard to say what's right or wrong in relationships, there's always a grey area. Only when you’ve forgiven yourself can you start to let go of any anger or hatred you have, and move on. Move on. There's no point replaying things in your mind wishing you had done this or that because you can't undo anything anymore. When things have already happened, move forward and learn from it. – Ling, 26

“Don’t Let Words Break You”

My ex played the blame game on me and would always guilt trip me into thinking that I was the one who hindered him in things like opportunities to study overseas or enjoying outdoor activities. On the contrary, I had never stopped him from doing what he wanted. His words really affected me, until I found out that he cheated on me and had used all these hurtful comments as excuses to break up with me. If your relationship ended badly, don’t let the words your ex said get to you. Don’t let your ex or other people guilt trip you, and don’t let your insecurities stop you from healing and moving on. – Lydia, 27

Be A Stronger You

Just like how you take away a learning point from a good book or movie, you take a piece of your experience with you as you close a chapter in your (romantic) life. A piece that forms who you are in time to come. Just like these millennials who shared the lessons they’ve learnt from their past relationships, you will grow wiser and stronger. From millennial to millennial, we hope this advice help. And when you’ve grown stronger as a person, you’ll be ready to meet your other half over here. Also read, 8 Confession Stories That Are Like RL Versions Of Taiwanese High School Dramas.
When you have a crush on someone, you think about them 24/7. You'll catch yourself sneaking peeks at them and getting overly-excited whenever they like any of your Instagram photos. But as much as you like them and hope they feel the same way about you too, it can be nerve-racking to think about confessing – what if they reject you? Then again, the only way to go from social media stalker to potential love interest is to just do it – confess and pray for the best. We spoke to our friends on how they’ve confessed to someone they liked, or how they’ve been confessed to. Here’re 8 of the cutest confessions.

1. “He sent my photo back and said, ‘this girl’”

“Back then, we both already knew we liked each other. We were texting regularly and there were many small hints here and there but we just hadn’t confess. When I went to Taiwan for a holiday, I sent him some photos of me as I think he missed me. He replied, "omg I kept staring at the photo and walked into a lamp post". The second time I sent him photos, he said, "wah I keep looking at your photo and I went up to level 4 when I stay at level 3." After that, he tweeted something like ‘miss u’. When I asked him who he misses and who he likes, he sent my photo back and said, “This girl.”” – Jiaqian, 21

2. “Team Captains of the track team’”

“He was the team captain for the boy's track team and I was the team captain for the girl's track team so our peers always joked and tried to ‘stir shit’ about us being together. I liked him since poly year one but he was quite dense and couldn’t tell. We went out on a date once and texted occasionally but it didn’t go further than that. I still had a big crush on him so one night, I told myself that I was going to confess to him no matter. If he said yes, I'll go for ZoukOut to celebrate. And if he rejects me, I'll still go for ZoukOut – to party my woes away. I confessed over the phone and I was nervous AF. He said he appreciated my thoughts and my feelings and that’s it. Then I said, "Great! Thanks for acknowledging, I just wanted to get this off my chest,” then we hung up. Thankfully, he called me back and said that it was so sudden for him but he also likes me. That was 5 years ago. Today, we are married. ” – Vic, 25

3. “He sent me food via ‘homing pigeon’ service”

“We both stay in Yishun. There was once I was feeling a little under the weather and had also casually mentioned that I love ham and cheese sandwiches. He said that he will send a homing pigeon over to my place with ‘the cure’ and we laughed at it as it seemed like a joke. A while later, he told me that the homing pigeon had delivered something to me. I thought he was still joking, until I checked my doorstep and saw the Tupperware of ham and cheese sandwiches and a tube of Redoxen for my sore throat. He cycled to my house just to surprise me with the 'care package'. He didn’t exactly confess per se, but it was kind of a confirmation to me that he likes me.” – Jamie, 26

4. “You are 'my class monitress'”

“We were classmates in Secondary School. Every month, our form teacher would change the class monitor and monitress so more students could experience leading the class. She was my partner-in-crime when we were elected the monitor and monitress for that month. Subconsciously, I started to fall for her when we worked together, but it was only nearing the end of our month when I realise I was going to miss her as more than just friends. We were texting on a friendly basis then, so I texted her that I was going to miss being the class monitor. Then I added that more importantly, that I was so happy she was 'my class monitress'. She said she was very happy that she got to be the monitress with me too, and asked which monitress I thought was the best so far. I said her, and that I wished we could be the moniter and monitress permanently so I could see her and spend more time with her. Good times." - Chong, 28

5. “He baked 'extra' cookies and gave it to me”

“We met through a school camp and have been texting for a while. One day, he told me that he had baked extra cookies and packed some for me. I dropped by an MRT station to pick it up from him on the way home. I thanked him for the free cookies and he patted my head before I walked away – that made me suspect something already. I opened up the package after I left and sure enough, there was a card inside and on it was his confession. I thought it was really sweet, but I only saw him as a friend and nothing more.” – Zhen Ni, 26

6. “He tricked me into giving him my locker combination”

“We were in JC. He asked for my locker combination to borrow a textbook and when I checked my locker afterwards, there was a box of chocolates inside. My first thought was: cool, chocolates. Then I took it and went home, only to realise it was a confession when my friends reminded me that it was Valentine’s Day. I thanked him the next day and gave him a small gift back just to be nice. I made the gift for like 10 people and just decided to make one more for him.” – Sammie, 25

7. “April’s Fool!”

“There was this guy in church who I had a crush on for a long time. I think he liked me too but there was never any proof. We talk once in a while but nothing more. One day, he called me at midnight. When I picked it up, he said, “Esther, I really need to tell you something. I like you.” For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I was so nervous. Then I heard his friend’s laughter on the line, “April’s Fool!” I texted him later on that day and playfully asked if he was serious and that if he was, I liked him too. The banter went on for a bit before we realised that we liked each other for real.” – Esther, 25

8. “I love you… as a friend”

“We had been best friends for awhile and would even have long conversations on the phone. After a long conversation one night, I texted him, "I love you." Then I added, "as a friend," to save myself from potential embarrassment. I was so nervous the whole night because I didn't know how he would react. In the morning, he replied, “I love you too. You’re like a special friend to me.” That was 8 years ago. We are getting married next year.” – Sally, 25

Tell Them You Like Them!

If you think about it in another way, there’s a 50% chance that they may like you as well. You’ve got nothing to lose anyway because you’re not going to get anywhere if s/he doesn’t know how you feel either. But of course, don’t be a creep. Talk to them and get to know one another a little better before you go on telling them they are The One for you. And if you need some help in meeting or getting to know a potential love interest better, try here! Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

Being single’s great. You have the freedom to do anything you want, whenever you want.

When all your friends start to get attached and you’re the only one left on the shelf, you tend to notice the ‘coupley things’ they do. More so than ever, these lovey-dovey exchanges between the lovebirds bother you.

As much as you’re sincerely happy for them, there are times you wish you could deck them in the face for behaving as such.

You try not to react to their cheesy banter, but that doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with them cooing at each other in your presence.

It can be hard to tell a friend that they’re being super gross though. So we reached out to our single friends and put together a list of typical things Singapore couples do that annoys them. A list you can use to drop subtle hints on your (cringey) couple friends.

Dear couples, stop:

1. Calling Each Other Cringey Pet Names

It makes us mildly uncomfortable to hear one friend call the other friend ‘dear’, ‘darling’, or even ‘baby’, but we’re still cool with it - we probably just need time to get used to it.

But when you start calling each other “princess”, “dear dear”, or “bii bii” from across the room, it’s tough for us to not cringe.

2. Talking To Your Partner In THAT Voice

We’re just amazed at how someone can talk (and behave) like a dominant leader with us, yet go all soft and talk with the voice of a ‘super kawaii’ anime girl in front of her boyfriend. It's even worse when it's the guy who goes soft in front of his girlfriend.

Don’t act cute leh.

3. The Extreme PDA

Control your hormones, can? Stop. Touching. Each. Other.

It’s super awkward for us when you keep touching, hugging, and playing tongue wrestle while you’re on the train. Or anywhere really, when you’re hanging out with us.

4. Talking About Bae And Relationships ALL The Time

When you bring up your Bae or relationship in every single topic, it makes us feel like you’re subtly showing off your ‘in-love status’ at every opportunity.

We’re not jealous of you, but we wonder if your relationship is all that defines you.

5. Asking Bae For Permission Before Doing ANYTHING

You do not belong to your Bae.

It’s understandable if you’re heading out with people of the opposite sex, but do you really have to ask Bae if you can go for dinner and shopping with your girlfriends - or for the guys, drinks with your buddies? There’s a line between letting Bae know what’s going on in your life and being a puppet y'know.

6. Last Minute Pangseh Us For Bae

It’s annoying enough to have someone fly aeroplane on gatherings that have been planned weeks ago. But it’s even more irritating when you’re ditching us to have dinner with your Bae because s/he's having a bad day.

Priorities.

7. Being Inseparable (And Insufferable)

It’s called a girls/boys night out for a reason. It’s not for us to see you guys flirt with each other at one corner while we have girls/boys talk. 

8. Arguing In Front Of Everyone

We’re all for healthy ‘arguments’ in a relationship, but not when we're supposed to be out having a good time with the group.   

You wouldn’t want to see your parents argue in front of you. Likewise, we don’t want to see you guys screaming at each other over ridiculous disputes while we try to cajole the both of you.

9. Airing Your Dirty Laundry On Social Media

The world has so many things to worry about, and your emo selfies and rants aren’t one.

You’re just making yourself look pitiful by telling everyone that s/he broke your heart, and not in a good way. Your Bae won't be happy to see you air your grievances about her/him online either. 

10. Flaunting Your Love On Social Media

Similarly, please stop flooding your Instagram or Facebook with all your couple selfies. We get that these photos are sweet memories, but it gets annoying when every single post on your feed is of the two of you in embrace.

What’s worse is when they come with captions like how sweet your boyfriend is or how in love you are.

And these cheesy comments: “Baby I love you so much.” “Aww baby, I love you more.”

Guys, can y’all just text each other privately?

11. Planning Couples-Only Activities

Yes, we are a little sad for being the only single one left in the clique. But please stop feeling bad for us because that’s only going to annoy us even further.

Like you guys talking about couple dates, only to go, “oh no, but you’re single, shit I’m so sorry, but it’s okay, you can come too if you want.”

We know that you feel bad. We appreciate that you still consider our feelings. And we really don’t mind being the odd one out in the group. But after the guilt-induced invitation, we also know that we’d be a burden if we do join in.

12. Acting Annoyed When Your Partner Surprises You

This one's mainly for the ladies:

When your boyfriend sends you flowers for no particular reason, don’t go around saying things like, “why he so boliao, waste money on this kind of things,” only to post a photo of it up on Instagram an hour later captioned, “So touched that Baby sent me this.”

Don't Be So Cheesy

There’re still plenty more, but this list pretty much sums up the main bulk of our annoyance. We get that you’re smitten. We love the strong chemistry and bond you guys have, but we'd prefer if you keep’em between the both of you. Spare us.

But if you’re looking for someone to do all these grossly sweet things with you, you can try looking for love here.

How about you? What are some things couples do that annoys you?

Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

We used to think that once you pass a certain mark, like 2 or 3 years into a relationship, it will last forever. But in a time where things like work (or DOTA) can take precedence over replying a text message from our other half, it can be tough to maintain a relationship. We realised how common it is for relationships to fail despite the years. Just within our social circles, we've friends who had to abruptly close a major chapter of their love life – just like that, 6, 8, and even 9 year’s worth of time can become nothing more than just bittersweet memories. It made us wonder: can a relationship really last in this era? We sought out to find the answers, and we found them in photos of our longtime couple friends. Here are the photos that captured the essence of love and growth, of when they first started dating compared to them today.

"We Treasure The Smallest Things"

Nicholas & Jasmine – 9 Years Together The biggest "challenge" has to be keeping the relationship and romance going and constantly nurturing it, as it is easy to get so used to each other that we take things for granted. The smallest and simplest things in relationships that get overlooked are often the main reasons for deteriorating relationships. We both do our best to make sure we are aware of this and we treasure one another. Communication is something we both hold dearly as our foundation. We're able to be honest with our feelings and come to an understanding to resolve problems together. The smallest actions like kisses and hugs count too. Or showing appreciation by making each other our favourite drinks, or watching our favourite movie when either of us feels down make a difference.

"He's Always The Bigger Person, And She's Appreciative"

Samantha & Jeremy – 7 Years Together To Samantha, a big part of keeping the relationship going is because of him: “He's so gracious, patient and accepting of my shortcomings; especially my possessiveness and temper. If I dated myself, I would have dumped my ass a long time ago.” When there are unhappiness and quarrels, it's very difficult to come to a compromise. It’s difficult to find a solution and makeup when both of us are upset. We both know it and he’s usually the bigger person who puts emotions aside and initiate for us to make up.

"We Trust Each Other, And Never Carry An Argument Overnight"

Cherie & Shao Yong – 6 Years Together If we can wrap up the essence of our relationship, it is trust and communication. On trust: we don’t give each other any reason to doubt. We are completely transparent with each other and this builds up the robust level of trust we have in each other. We are comfortable enough to not interfere or restrict each other's own social life too. On communication: whenever don’t meet, we make it a point to still call each other every night to talk about our day or even just to say goodnight. Whenever we argue, we make sure that we only move on after we have accepted each other’s feelings and made peace with it. We never carry an argument overnight.

"It's Normal For Us To Fight, But We Forgive And Move On"

Matthew & Li Ying – 4.5 Years Together Throughout the years, we've learnt to deal with each other's annoying habits. For example, I have learnt to deal with Li Ying being a grammar Nazi and correcting mistakes mid-sentence, while she has learnt to wait for me to take the perfect photo of food before we can eat. So there’s a lot of acceptance, patience, and understanding. It’s normal for us to fight a lot, but at the same time, there is a lot of forgiveness in our relationship.

"We Choose To Love Each Other Even When We 'Hate' Each Other"

Mieko & CJ – 8 Years Together The fact that we have been together since he was 20 and I, 16, we've gone through so many milestones together: studies, NS, work, and eventually the unexpected appearance of baby Dayna. We definitely have had many arguments and major fights, and it resulted in a lot of heartbreak. We can’t specifically pinpoint any particular reason or factor that kept us going through it all. However, it truly boils down to loving each other the 'right' way – being able to love each other even when you ‘hate’ each other. Love is a choice, and choosing to love someone is not easy. It's a choice we make every day, through thick and thin.

"Two Headstrong Personalities, But We Compromise"

Ryan & Jia Yi – 8 Years Together Honesty and compromise play a big part in our relationship. We are both very headstrong personalities and if we hadn't made conscious efforts to compromise with each other, we honestly wouldn't have made it this far. Also, one of the major hurdles we had (and I'm sure many couples have) was the assumption that the other party would automatically understand our needs and desires. We're not mind-readers and we’ve learnt to make efforts to tell each other why we're upset instead of just begrudging each other for not "getting it".

"We Stay Cheesy With Verbal Compliments"

Pat & John – 9 Years Together Just like other couples, we've been through many milestones together. Completing NS, buying a house, proposal, and wedding planning are just some. But one of the biggest challenges for us was riding the waves of my (Pat's) anxiety issues together. Throughout my darkest times, John stuck by me. He fought along with me, and for me. One of our common love languages is words of affirmation. Verbal compliments and appreciation can go a long way, and after dating for 9 years, we're still cheesy as ever.

"We Laugh At Each Other, And We Laugh Together"

Celine & Ivan – 4 Years Together There's a lot of love and patience between us. We understand each other’s personalities and accommodate not just to each other but also our families. We do silly things together, laugh at each other and laugh together. We learn together and grow together as individuals and also as a couple.

"We Address Our Problems As Best Friends And Lovers"

Shane and Nikki – 18 Years Together We’ve gone through so much together from secondary school and university to surviving army days. We’ve gotten married and built up our first home, and now, celebrating the birth of our first child. We've always been best friends so our friendship laid a strong foundation for the relationship, and we are able to communicate really well with one another on so many grounds. It’s important and helps us address our problems together instead of running away from them.

Keep The Faith Alive

Granted, love isn’t just rainbows and butterflies. While it takes a large amount of effort and work to sustain a relationship, these couples have proven that it still is possible. And the benefits you reap from a happy, lasting relationship is worth every fight for. On the other hand, if you’re searching for someone to fight alongside you on your life journey, you can try your luck <a href=" Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours.