If one were to walk past Crow on the streets, one would easily pass him off as ‘one of those matreps’. After all, he fits perfectly into that mould: Malay, tattooed arms, smokes, plays the guitar and sings. His appearance and the stereotypical label that comes with it naturally meant that he has to put in twice the effort to earn the respect of society. What makes it that much harder is the stain of a criminal record that follows him for life. When I met Crow at Orita Sinclair School of Design & Music where he’s studying however, his calm and friendly disposition is a complete opposite of who he described himself to be in his wayward adolescent years. If I wasn’t aware of his past from a video feature our team did of him a year ago, I will never fathom that he was once a prominent gang member and had served six years in prison for gang-related activities and what was classified as a murder case. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/749610395200380/ He spoke briefly about his journey in our video so when I caught up with him last week, I wanted to dive deeper into how everything started and also how much life has changed for him since the team last met him.

Growing Up In A Different World

Unlike average Singaporeans, Crow never had a proper family growing up. Neither did he really have a home. Home was wherever the person his single mother paid to look after him stayed, for she had to slog day and night to support him and his stepbrother.

With no family and no place he could truly call home, he sought solace in his friends. The many fights he got into with his mum for his lack of interest in studies pushed him further down the wrong path. At 14, he dropped out of school and a year later, joined a gang. “All my friends started joining the gang so I thought, why not? Since they are all in there, I’ll just join them too.” It is from thereon that Crow fell into the typical ‘gangster lifestyle’. He got tattooed, went clubbing, took drugs, sold drugs, got into fights, slashed and hurt many people with the use of weapons. To an outsider, these are acts done by people who do not know what they are doing. And this isn’t far from the truth. These made up Crow’s teenage years.

Crow’s world was about survival in the most primal sense. Where fights are default solutions to conflicts, violence became normalised behaviour for him. “I’m someone who want to be the best so I did whatever is expected of me and do it well to prove my worth in the gang.” Soon enough, Crow climbed the ranks and made a name for himself in the ‘gang scene’. Yet, none of his family members knew about his identity.

The First Changing Point

Things took a turn when Crow was 19. After surviving from a fight that left him with injuries so bad he was admitted to the ICU, and seeing his crying mother at the foot of his bed, the mother and child reconciled. That moment brought back long lost feelings of love and concern that he had always longed for from her. Their relationship improved but just four months after, she passed away from a sudden illness.

“It felt like the world just stopped.”

It was at that point that Crow started reflecting and decided to leave the gang. At 19 and serving NS however, it wasn’t long before Crow found himself back in the predicament of going back to his old days due to financial pressures. With $350 of his $520 monthly allowance going towards the rental of his mum’s flat, the remaining was barely enough to cover utilities, food, and transport among other expenses. He started selling cigarettes to earn and eventually succumbed to selling drugs when the bills piled up. One thing led to the other and he was soon back in his old gang. This time round, as a headman of a particular territory with over 20 boys under him.

The Law Caught Up

Things started going South when a huge fight left one of his gang members dead. Knowing that the investigations will lead the police to him, he went into hiding at various hotels and friends’ houses. He was caught in the end, along with all his boys when they were celebrating Ramadan back in his rental home. Detained by MHA under the Criminal Law Act and sent to prison immediately with no release date came as a shock to Crow at first.

“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but I never imagined actually being in prison.”

Prison life was undoubtedly hard and it took him more than a year to accustom himself to the new life. Facing four walls all day, losing the freedom to do what he wants to do, and having to perform the same routine over and over again was a huge mental challenge. The hardest part, however, is that there was no ‘end date’ to all of that because he did not know when he was going to be released, or whether he was even going to be released. Many times, Crow had to distract himself from such depressing thoughts by doing things he never would have done prior, like reading. Disgruntled by how the legislation could lock anyone up without any release date, he decided to ‘take revenge’, “I was thinking that since they are going to do this to me, fine, I will take full advantage of whatever facilities or resources they have.” Who knew that that motivation was what became the turning point of Crow’s life. After getting into Prison School and realising that he could actually do anything well if he puts his mind to it, he went on to complete his O-levels and A-levels there. Most of all, as he was exposed to more knowledge, he begin to realise what he wanted to do when he gets out. “I want to be a better me, to do good things for myself and for people. If not for myself, I owe it to all my loved ones who have visited me to do so.”

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

After six years, Crow finally got his second chance in life. Leaving prison and his past behind in 2016, he decided to use what he experienced and channel his learnings towards touching the lives of people through music.

He went on to pursue a two year part-time Diploma in Music Production and Audio Engineering. As a personal bid to prove his self-worth, Crow also works on freelance video editing projects to earn his own keep despite receiving full sponsorship from Yellow Ribbon project to help his reintegration into society. When asked if he is worried about potential trouble from his past for sharing about it, Crow explained humbly, “there’s a lot of genuinely nice people who have made bad choices in life, but lack the motivation or courage to change. I hope that my story can inspire them, that they can change too if they want to.” With only a few days to his graduation show on 15 October where he will be performing his first Single, Dunia Duit(Malay for ‘World of Money’), I wondered if the 29-year-old regrets his past. “I wouldn’t say I regret because if not for all the things that I have done and gone through, I will probably still be that naive guy with no clue what he’s doing with his life.” Beyond the social stigma, being branded an ex-offender comes with real impediments like not being to travel, having a curfew, and being restricted from certain places. Regardless, Crow doesn’t see his past actions as a hindrance to his future. When I asked if he feels the same way with his mother however, I could tell the remorse in the slight quiver in his voice. “My mum worked very hard to make ends meet so my only regret is not being able to show her my O-level results. I’ve gone on to succeed in many positive things but she will never be able to witness it.” Also read, 65-Year-Old Mdm Rebecca’s Life: A Look At The Reality Of Singapore’s Privilege Gap.

“The Chinese believe that one must be buried with the back against the mountain and have a clear unobstructed view in front.” This is one of the many things I learnt when I went for an introductory tour at Bukit Brown last month. Never in my life have I been to a cemetery, so when I first signed up to walk the hills of Bukit Brown cemetery with Darren, I had no idea what to expect. I was also probably a little too preoccupied with wondering why I even signed up to walk among graves on Chinese Ghost Festival. The one day where ‘hungry ghosts’ are said to roam earth in search of food and ‘entertainment’. But there I was, standing at Hill 1 of Bukit Brown Cemetery at 9am on a Saturday with about about 10 or so in the tour group. The Chinese believe that there is nothing to be afraid of if you haven’t done anything wrong, but I still couldn’t help but feel slightly apprehensive about possibly encountering netherworldly beings. After all, the mind will only wander when facing the unknown.

I had pictured the cemetery to be what I usually see on horror films: in a decaying state and eerie. As we stood around waiting for late comers however, I realised how misguided I was in my impression. Granted, it was daylight, but you know how there are some places that just feel creepy regardless? For example, you would somehow get creepy vibes from walking down a long, narrow, echoey corridor with no one else around, but this place is nothing like that. For a place where it’s home to the dead, it was teeming with life and I was struck by how beautiful the greenery is, especially the iconic rain tree that towered above us as we made our way deeper into Bukit Brown from Hill 1. 

For a moment, it felt a bit like a scene from Alice In Wonderland, enchanting and where the plants and trees are larger than life. Adding on to my surprise that the cemetery is actually a pretty peaceful place to be at, we bumped into a group of four who were riding by on horses. Darren explained that because of the beauty and tranquility of Bukit Brown, the Singapore Polo Club and the National Equestrian Centre actually hold horse-riding tours there. In fact, Bukit Brown Cemetery is no longer a place for paying respects to ancestors, but also a place for recreation. There are many other tours that will take you through Bukit Brown, like the Nature Society (Singapore)’s birdwatching tours and it’s also a norm for people to jog or walk their dog there. It was a fresh perspective for me as I had never thought of going to a cemetery, much less see it as a site for recreation.

One of the volunteers from the group of volunteers behind a.t.Bukit Brown (all things Bukit Brown), Darren’s head of grey-white hair and a white moustache outlining his jaws make it easy to assume him to be a retiree. It was only at the end of the tour that I learnt, much to my surprise, that he is actually the Vice-Dean of the School of Law in SUSS. As Darren brought us around, I realised Bukit Brown is huge. Before the exhumation of graves to make way for the new Lornie Highway, the five hills that make up Bukit Brown were home to about 100,000 graves, making it one of the biggest Chinese cemetery outside of China. Even the largest cemetery in Paris, the Père Lachaise Cemetery, is only about half the size of Bukit Brown. The former is a major tourist attraction that has been hailed as the most-visited cemetery. Yet, Bukit Brown seems to be seen as an impediment to urbanisation here - at least from our ‘masterplans’. The scale is one, but let’s not forget the rich history and heritage behind Bukit Brown.

Burying the dead used to be a very complicated matter as it involved knowing the deceased’s dialect group or where they hail from. It determined where they should be buried at. For example, one would have to bring the body of a Cantonese all the way to the cemetery at Bishan because that is the dedicated Cantonese cemetery. Even then, one would still have to prove that the background of the deceased. Then, there are the costs involved. Because most cemeteries were private, one would need money to buy a plot and to bury a body. Paupers would end up having to depend on donations from kind, wealthy businessmen for their burial.

Bukit Brown was the first municipal Chinese cemetery and it solved the problems above as the government would fund the burial of paupers as long as there is a death certificate. The cemetery was also not associated with any clan or ethnic group, and all the factors contributed to Bukit Brown becoming the most popular Chinese cemetery.

As we traipsed through Hills 2 and 5 during the tour, I imagined how beautiful the place could be if more was done in terms of maintenance. Ever since the government closed all cemeteries in 1972 due to land space concerns, nature has taken over the once properly manicured lanes. Many of the graves are also enshrouded by flora.

Where there used to be open land and clear walking lanes to each grave, we had to brave through tufts of thick grass, step over fallen branches and avoid slipping on moss as we made our own paths to the graves we visited. As we did, Darren explained the unique characteristics of different graves. “By the end of today, you should be able to tell whether the person was a Hokkien or Teochew just by looking at their grave.” Interestingly, every part of a tomb ‘design’ has got a meaning to it.

The tombstones of a Hokkien grave are free-standing and may or may not be supported with stones on the left and right. There will usually be a peripheral wall behind the tombstone and for the very wealthy, you will find two walls. The two wall also creates a trough such that when it rains, water would flow down the trough to the front of the tomb and because water is wealth to Chinese, it signifies that the wealth would flow down to the descendants. The Teochew graves, however, is built into a wall and do not have a peripheral wall around where the body lies.

The inscriptions also tell a lot about what is important to each Dialect group and also the story of the person’s life. The Hokkiens will have all their children’s names on the tomb, but their wife’s name will not be included unless she is buried with him. The Teochews, however, will have the names of every women in his life disclosed on the tombstone but not their descendants’ names.

A three-hour history ‘lesson’ sounds like a drag, but having hosted Bukit Brown tours for about three years, Darren’s animated story-telling kept me engaged. Even though I grew up in a very different era from the people who now resides at Bukit Brown, it was fascinating to hear the stories of the graves we visited. We heard the stories of Tay Koh Yat, who established a bus company that was merged to what we know as SBS today, explored the mystery of Dolly Tan, learnt about the kingdom of Neo Tiew, and Chinese businessman Tan Kheam Hock amongst others. I got a glimpse into what was life back in the 1940s, of the challenges that some of these people faced and the brutality of living in the period of a World War. I'd be lying if I said I can relate to the struggles these people faced, because I can't. But the stories that Darren regaled us with made me better understand how our culture and society came to be, and better appreciate the luxuries we enjoy today. Although I am not converted to be a lover of cemeteries, I do have a new-found appreciation of it. To think that I’m born and bred in Singapore but knew nothing about our local cemetery and its stories, and it takes Darren, a Malaysian, to school me. It put things into perspective and I understood a little more about why people fought for the preservation of Bukit Brown. I was one who couldn’t care less when plans of Lornie Highway and further redevelopment of the area were announced. But now that I’ve seen the tombs and heard the stories, I know the importance of preservation and conservation. Urbanisation is important for the progress of a nation, but if come one day where all of such historical or heritage sites like Bukit Brown had to make way for progress, I think it to be a truly sad day. Also read, With Anti-Trump Protests Around The World, These Causes Closer To Home Are Also Worth Paying Attention To.

If you haven’t heard of it before, you should have by now. Ever since Crazy Rich Asians hit the cinemas, Singapore being one of the world’s richest countries has yet again become a hot topic. Thanks to the Hollywood film, Singapore is a country full of sprawling mansions and wealthy locals who hold over-the-top parties on a regular basis. But we know that this is merely entertainment. Most Singaporeans would have ended up leaving the theatre amused by that depiction while secretly crying inside - if only we were all that wealthy. The truth is far from that. We’re exactly what Nas said in his video, Crazy Poor Asians: we just get by. https://www.facebook.com/nasdaily/videos/315345822583209/ However, when you put GST increase, transport fare hikes, increase cost of utilities and inflation into the picture along with a myriad of other social issues, you get disgruntled average Singaporeans who will naturally wonder about the possibility of better prospects elsewhere.                       

"The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side"

For many millennials, studying or working overseas are opportunities we wish to experience at least once in our life. Cold weather, a slower pace of life, the freedom, and the impression of a generally better employment package are things we associate with life abroad. Also, who can pass up on the chance to travel and explore a bit of the world under the guise of study or work? In fact, a study released in July where 1000 Singaporean citizens and PRs were surveyed, seven in 10 (69%) want to work remotely to travel the world, and 85% of them would like to live abroad for some time. Unsurprising, considering how many wanderlusters you will find just by browsing through Instagram profiles.  

The study done by online money transfer service Transferwise also covered the concerns Singaporeans have about living abroad, with 56% surveyed envious about other Singaporeans ability to move out of the country.

We dream of greener pastures, of a better life and better prospects outside of Singapore, but is it really rainbow and butterflies as we envision? To better understand the realities of living abroad, we spoke to four Singaporeans who have actually gone through it themselves.

How Green Is The Grass On The Other Side?

1. Farhan - 3.5 Years In Thailand

After working in Thailand for 3.5 years as a project engineer, Farhan decided to quit and move back to Singapore following the end of his project.

What are the perks of living abroad? The freedom! I enjoyed living independently. And the downsides? It gets pretty lonely. I really missed having my family and friends around. Living independently also meant that there wasn’t anyone to help or care for me when I fell sick. There was once I was down with severe food poisoning and I felt so weak. I couldn't visit the clinic or consult the doctor because of the language barrier. It was a working day so I couldn't get my colleagues to help me with translation either. I ended up having to deal with it by myself by relying on off-the-counter medications In terms of the living environment, I was living and working at a pretty rural area. The pace of life there is slower and definitely more laid-back than in Singapore. There’s also not much to do there except for the weekend night markets.

I didn't feel as safe there as I do in Singapore. For example, walking alone late at night without feeling endangered there was a luxury. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Pick up the language used by the locals. You need to learn beyond basic conversational skills if you’re going somewhere where the main language used there isn’t familiar to you. Moving to a new place means having to learn, accept, and adapt to the new environment, and communication is key to this. Technology like Google Translate helps but it is not 100% reliable as the translations are not always accurate, and what if you experience poor internet connection? You can’t always depend on technology. Live here or live abroad? I am perfectly comfortable and happy where I am in Singapore. It's a safe and efficient country, and my family and friends are all here so I don't see a point of migrating.

2. RT - 3 years in UK

RT just came back from her completing her degree in the UK. What are the perks of living abroad? Life is a lot quieter, more chill, and university life in the UK isn’t as intense as local universities - I would imagine. I also really liked the freedom that came with not living with my parents, the ability to go back anytime and not having to worry about reporting to anyone.

And the downsides?

Being away from my parents also meant that Mum wasn’t around to help me solve my problems anymore. I learnt to appreciate the basic things in Singapore like fast internet speeds, convenient public transport and food. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? It is all the little things you don’t think about until you’re there. You have to be mentally ready to miss out on all the important events back at home, like gatherings or not being able to watch your baby relative grow up. Or the internet speed: The average internet speed in the UK is 16.5mbps, while it’s 180mbps in Singapore. Then there’s culture, safety and security. Live here or live abroad? I have thought about migrating because of the high costs of living in Singapore. I feel like we’ve stagnated in growth as a country while everything is becoming increasingly expensive. I may be wrong but at least that’s my general feeling about life in Singapore. For now, I’m staying here as I just came back from UK and do want to spend time with my family.

3. C - 4 years in UK

C also recently came back after completing his degree in the UK, where he spent one year in London and three years in Manchester. What are the perks of living abroad? The best part about living abroad is getting to experience cold most of the year, at least for where I lived at.

One thing I noticed and appreciate is how open-minded the people in UK are and how much freedom of speech they have there. I also learnt to appreciate Singapore more. I realise that Singaporeans complain too much and that people should really head out and see the reality of living abroad themselves. And the downsides? The nightlife there sucks. I’m not even talking about parties or drinks, but I wouldn’t even be able to find any food if I just wanted to have supper at night. In Singapore, you can easily get prata at night or anything else from the many 24-hour or late night food places. The services there are slow too. The service staff there always seem to be full of excuses and are a lot less responsible than in Singapore. There are many other obvious differences if you compare life there to Singapore: The standard of living, environment, the people and culture, and more. But the paced of life life there is a little too slow for me. I love the fast-paced and competitive nature in Singapore What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? The population in the area you are living at. It can get pretty dangerous and overwhelming. Consider the climate too. Live here or live abroad? There are certain decisions made by our ruling parties that I don’t agree with and I have thought of migrating, but I don’t think I ever will because having experienced the slower pace of life, I realise I still prefer the hustle and bustle here in Singapore. It keeps my fire burning.

4. Jasmin - Migrated to Perth 11 years ago

Jasmin moved to Perth, Western Australia in 2002 to pursue her dream of becoming a veterinarian. She stayed there permanently after graduating in 2007. What are the perks of living abroad? Life in Perth is pretty slow-paced and relaxed compared to Singapore. The people here are more interested in enjoying life in the present than slogging away or planning for the future. Most people are friendly and strangers would often strike up conversations with you. And the downsides? Singapore is a lot more convenient than Perth in so many ways, like public transportation, shopping, and getting food. The biggest challenge is being so far away from my friends and family, especially my parents. It’s hard to keep up with friendships and relationships, especially when life gets busy.

There isn’t really a best or worst thing of migrating, it is just a decision you make and then it becomes your norm. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Check if you are able to carve out a career in your chosen field in that particular country. Sometimes your profession may not necessarily be in demand. You don’t want to be caught in a struggle to find work after you move. Why did you choose to migrate? I wouldn’t say that I migrated because I think Australia is better or that I prefer Australia. Singapore is a wonderful place to live and so is Perth. It just so happens that Perth is home for me right now.

To Migrate Or Not To Migrate

As much as we love to think that life overseas is all beautiful and perfect, that isn't always the case. Just like the many issues we face in our life in Singapore, there are bound to be challenges wherever else you go.  Instead of living in a dream of that Great Migration, know what you are in for first. Weigh the pros and cons for yourself, and if you do find someone else more perfect for you, good for you. (Share it with us) Also read: A Millennial’s Reply To Minister Ng’s Open Letter: “Nobody Owes Us A Living”. (Header Photo by Slava Bowman on Unsplash)

Her family was torn apart by a big family dispute over property. Today, 65-year-old Mdm Rebecca only has her 76-year-old cousin as family. To avoid getting embroiled in the disputes, Mdm Rebecca decided to sever all ties with her family. The last time she spoke to her only brother was more than 40 years ago. Today, she lives in a one-room rental flat in Punggol. Her 76-year-old cousin whom she cares for is bedridden and suffering from Parkinson’s and stroke among other ailments. In her heyday more than 10 years ago, Mdm Rebecca dabbled in PR, secretarial work, and was once a housing agent. However, a severe respiratory problem left her with no choice but to stop working. Life got more challenging since then. Most of her household ‘income’, which comes from her cousin and her retirement funds, as well as her cousin’s social welfare payout, is spent on her cousin’s medical necessities like medicine and bandages. Then, there’s the struggle of being unemployed and being the only caregiver to her bedridden cousin. Mdm Rebecca’s daily routine includes feeding her cousin milk through a tube seven times through the day, changing his diapers several times, giving him the medications he needs for different conditions, repositioning his body every two hours, and stretching his limbs to prevent his muscles from atrophy and shortening. She also has to monitor him throughout the day for any signs of discomfort. She would then have to use a vacuum-cleaner-like machine and a tube to manually suck the phlegm out from his lungs - a painful but critical process for her cousin that has to be done a few times a day. With the bulk of her time dedicated to caring for her cousin, what little time she has left is spent on reading and praying. A ‘vacation’ for her today is as simple as being able to go out for a meal with a friend. Even so, she has to return home within three hours to care for her cousin. Hiring a caretaker or a maid to do her job is out of the question and it isn’t just the lack of finances. Having had maids who have told her lies, stole from her, and even cursed her with black magic, she could no longer trust them. Bad experiences with nursing homes that led to the passing of her comatose mother and the close-to-death state that her cousin returned in after a 2-day respite care have also left a bad taste in her mouth. Since then, Mdm Rebecca resolved to taking care of her cousin herself.

“My mother had already suffered. I don’t want my cousin to go through the pain of what my mother had to go through.”

Attributing her strength to her religion, Mdm Rebecca emphasised on how a positive mindset helped tide her through the hardships. “Life is temporary and all these challenges are part of life. I don’t cry easily because crying doesn’t change anything. I just do my best with what I have and I pray for the best.” As I chatted with Mdm Rebecca at her doorstep while volunteers from the Young NTUC- North East CDC Project Refresh were cleaning up her unit and giving the walls a fresh coat of paint, I couldn’t help but admire her for her resilience.

Her fizzy, greyed hair and gaunt face tells of a woman who is still facing adversity, but Mdm Rebecca’s strong spirit is refreshing and humbling. She spoke about helping neighbours in need and counselling her friends and their children. Her empathy in prioritising other people’s problems above so many of her own made me feel a mix of guilt and respect.  

Having come from a relatively privileged middle-class background, I couldn't comprehend the significance of her struggles until I stepped into her home. Mdm Rebecca’s home is about as big as a typical HDB flat’s living room, with a small corner as kitchen and a toilet right beside it. The only bed in the flat is taken up by her cousin.

As such, volunteers from Project Refresh brought in a foldable mattress for her and a desk fan. Part of the project’s efforts to improve the standards of living for the underprivileged, volunteers also helped to clean the flat, paint the walls, tidy up the home, and change the flat’s light bulbs to more cost-efficient ones as part of the ‘Switch and Save - Use LED initiative’. Project Refresh’s first session in 2016 started off with just 30 volunteers covering five units. With more and more volunteers coming onboard, the Project Refresh session I was at on 18 August saw more than 350 volunteers coming together to spruce up 38 rental units. Many think that millennials are a strawberry generation of entitled and spoilt ‘kids’. That day, however, 60% of the volunteers I saw were millennials.

For 23-Year-Old Jamie*, what they do “may not change the whole world but at least we’re able to impact someone’s life directly.” As her full-time job requires her to deal with wealthy people who live in luxury and never having to worry about basic necessities, volunteering with Project Refresh and learning about the lives of underprivileged people like Mdm Rebecca is a way for her to “feel like human again.” Year 2 student at Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP), Kelvan, was another volunteer I spoke to. Kelvan and four of his NYP classmates were painting the walls of Mdm Latifah’s unit (another resident) when I chatted with them. Still recovering from an operation to treat her osteoarthritis of the knee, 56-Year-Old Mdm Latifah is living on just $210 a month from financial assistance, and food rations from a mosque. Divorced for 30 years, she brought up her only son, who was four back then, all by herself. On some days, Mdm Latifah would even go without food so she can save money.

Like many elderly and the underprivileged, loneliness is one of the many challenges for her. With no one to talk to or help her with problems, she could only cope with the struggles of a single mother without child support from the father by going for religious classes. “I have 9 siblings and my father, but I don’t want (to bother them). Everyone’s got their own problem.” Volunteering projects like Project Refresh goes beyond the physical act of cleaning up the home. It is showing the beneficiaries that there are people out there who do care for them. The interaction among the volunteers and the beneficiaries could create strong emotional bonds too. Volunteering with Project Refresh for the second time on his own accord, Kelvan decided to sign up again because of the sense of accomplishment and the appreciation he got from the family he helped the first time round. “A couple of us from the last project even went back to visit the family. The children and the parents were just so appreciative and warm. It’s back-breaking work, but I came back because it’s very heartwarming and fulfilling.”

Mdm Latifah and Mdm Rebecca are just two of the many underprivileged who live in completely different worlds that most Singaporeans will never experience. “Seeing the conditions they live in, it makes us appreciate the things we have,” Kelvan added. Growing up in a comfortable era where we got to enjoy quality education, a stable economy, and a generally more privileged lifestyle compared to our earlier generations, it is hard to dispute the fact that millennials do demand more. However, we are also a generation that wants to do more.

Volunteer with Young NTUC

As millennials, we tend to procrastinate volunteering as much as we want to give back to society. But today, there are many volunteering opportunities available. Besides Project Refresh, there is also the Young NTUC U Heart, which lets you decide your own do-good projects for low-income families, the environment, for workers, the elderly or people with disabilities, and children or youth-at-risk. So you get to dictate the kind of change you want to make! Learn more about Young NTUC’s volunteering programmes here! * Name has been changed for privacy reasons This post is written in partnership with Young NTUC. Also read: To The Generations Before Us – Trust The Millennials With Singapore’s Future.

Most turn to crowdfunding platforms to raise money for social causes, innovative products and creations, or for medical bills to treat their critically ill loved ones. So, when SGInstaBabes launched a crowdfunding campaign for themselves last Thursday, it’s no surprise that they were met with heavy criticism. If you haven’t caught up with the controversy, you can read about how the drama unfolded here.

TL;DR

SGInstaBabes launched a subscription campaign that grants subscribers with a range of ‘benefits’ depending on the tier of subscription one pays for. For example, paying US$7.50 (approx. S$10) a month will grant one exclusive access to photo shoot albums, and the highest tier will grant one “Ultimate Sugar Daddy” the perk of a private yacht party with the girls at a price of S$5000. The campaign came under fire for multiple reasons: it’s questionable purpose of crowdfunding, the dubious ‘perks’ that seem to be a hotbed for sexual predatory behaviours, and the impression that the campaign is further objectifying and ‘selling’ girls who look underaged. As with all social media dramas, founder of SGInstaBabes, Wee Kiat’s not-so-decent history of controversies has also been unearthed following the uproar over the Patreon campaign. In 2011, nude photos of Wee Kiat and his ex were leaked. Then, just last year, Wee Kiat came under scrutiny again when he was accused of molesting an underaged girl at a music festival.

Although Wee Kiat claims that the Patreon page was started due to overwhelming feedback from their fans, his unfortunate history coupled with the ‘pay to get exclusive photos or time with our girls’ campaign messaging was undoubtedly a recipe for disaster. In an attempt to address the negative allegations against him, one of Wee Kiat’s reply was: “Funny thing is, those who are perverting my intentions aren’t the girls I work with and see me and know me. Heck, they aren’t even people who follow SgInstaBabes and have seen the stories and posts we made. They are people who are here because of drama and made assumptions based on shallow judgments. And they don’t care about the accuracy of what they say. They just wanna jump on the bandwagon. Hence, empty vessels make the most noise.”

So, I decided to reach out to several girls who have not only seen but worked with Wee Kiat personally to see just how 'shallow' the current public assumptions or judgments are. On promise of anonymity to protect their identities, here are their first-hand experiences

“He’s very good with words”

“I was part of SGInstaBabes for awhile but left because I heard a lot of shit about Wee Kiat. I personally don’t think he’s very trustworthy at all! From my few experiences with him, I would say he is very good at convincing people. There were a few events I didn’t want to participate in but he was so good with words that he was able to convince me to do it. So if you’re talking about whether the girls in the group are really doing it willingly or ‘psychoed’ to do so, I think it’s very hard to tell. One thing for sure, he is super touchy. The few times I met him, he always tried to hug me and touch my waist. This contributes to the doubts we girls have in terms of sexual activity with him, especially when there are always parties and alcohol involved. Personally, I think the Patreon campaign is totally redundant and stupid. They are just making use of the girls to ‘create content’. From what I know, a lot of girls (I know a friend who is still in SGInstaBabes) has been starting to back out because they don’t want to get involved in the campaign. It shows how the campaign is actually not approved by many of the girls themselves.” - E, 19

“He’s a low-key manipulative person”

“In 2014 to 2015, Wee Kiat asked me to join his team multiple times but I always declined him. That didn’t stop him from pestering me with the same question. I was around 16 to 17 back then and even after more than three years, this cycle hasn't stopped. I’ve worked with him separately on a couple of events and I regret ever doing so because since then I’ve been constantly linked to the brand. Even after constant objections against such association, Wee Kiat still has no qualms continuing on. I even found my photos being circulated on their page without my permission. It’s degrading and if he cannot understand my ‘no’s, it really shows how the entire brand works. Wee Kiat is generally a nice person but he just doesn’t take objections even after very clear explanations. He would try to convince me by boasting about his social media marketing experience and telling me that there’s only “so far you can achieve alone”. He just cannot understand that I have no goal to rush for success or fame on a social media platform. I have never been too close with the team and never tried to associate myself with the girls too much. However, I have chatted with some of the ex-members who left with certain degrees of unhappiness from Wee Kiat’s attitude. To summarise, these girls who left just don’t want to be seen as a joke anymore. To be fair, Wee Kiat is actually pretty kind as a friend. When my nudes got leaked he was one of the few people who checked in on me and asked me about my well-being. However, I can’t deny that he is a determined and low-key manipulative person.” - L, 20 In Wee Kiat’s attempt to convince L into doing a nude photoshoot with SGInstaBabes (him), he had also sent the nudes of another girl he has shot to L. However, Wee Kiat has requested for L not to tag or credit him if she were to do the photoshoot and post the photos from the shoot online - for reasons we aren’t sure of.

Lastly, we spoke to A, who initially joined the group as she thought it was only a one-off thing for an event. Luckily for A, she hasn’t had any uncomfortable or undesirable occasions with Wee Kiat other than him complimenting her excessively.

“I’m someone who will stand up for myself. There were times where I called him out so maybe he doesn’t want to play with fire, or he just doesn’t have interest in me. I’ve heard stories about him, like what happened at the Eden Music Festival last year but there were at least three to four versions of it so I really don’t know what’s the truth. However, I chose to leave after half a year because I just don’t have the same goal the group has. It was something I tried for fun but found that it’s just not what I wanted. I left the group with no bad blood and even made some close friends.

Wee Kiat would even ask me for my opinion sometimes because I dare to criticise. In fact, he asked me about my thoughts on the Patreon campaign. I wasn’t against it, but I told him that it wouldn’t work out and that he will definitely get into trouble for it. But apparently he went ahead with it.” - A, 19

Where Should We Draw The Line?

Following netizen’s condemnation, SGInstaBabes has done some damage control. Both the official SGInstaBabes and Wee Kiat’s Instagram account have been taken down. The Patreon page is still up but besides the top banner, all other photos of the girls has been removed at time of writing.

Wee Kiat has also told Marketing Interactive that there will possibly be a revival and revamp of the collective and "If the account is to go live again, I personally will not be in charge or involved in any of SgInstaBabes’ activities anymore.” For a leadership role where one is primarily in direct contact with young, impressionable girls, I am honestly surprised that Wee Kiat had even managed to continue in this role after the molest allegations. As such, should SGInstaBabes continue on, one should consider if there should be more done to prevent these young girls from being taken advantage of for their naivety. After all, many of these girls are still at the age of discovery and yearn the attention that comes with social media fame. Many blame the girls for their lack of awareness or their overzealous clout chasing. While there is truth to that, as a girl myself, I understand how gratifying it can feel for a supposed guiding figure to validate my potential and tell me how much I can achieve. The free access to events and the chances to shine are draw factors that make it even harder to resist such opportunities despite any undesirable treatment. Not forgetting how much guts it will take for someone to speak up about mistreatment from a person who have been in the industry for much longer than they are. Of course, every one of these girls have their own right to decide and to go through the rite of passage themselves. However, just like how it takes fines to teach Singaporeans not to litter, maybe stricter laws are what we need to clamp down on such sexual predators. Furthermore for a platform that is marketed to empower girls and celebrate their beauty. Or perhaps, we need something to prevent young girls from even signing up for anything that can possibly put them in these positions of ridicule. Do you think leaders of such groups need to be imposed with stricter rules? Or girls should be barred from even joining such groups? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section! Also read: Sexual Harassment Not That Unusual - S'porean Girls Reveal Their Nasty Encounters With Perverts. (Header Image taken from SGInstaBabes' Patreon page)

They say Singapore’s got no talent, that we are only booksmart, that we are a city of jaded office workers. I beg to differ. So many Singaporeans have risen up and done us proud in so many ways, be it our national icon for swimming, Joseph Schooling, or singers like Stephanie Sun and JJ Lin, who is now a very popular figure in Taiwan’s music and entertainment industry. However, no matter how many medals we’ve won or Singaporean representations at international stages, it’s still hard to see our nation as one with talents. For example, on the context of aptitude, you would think of music, film, and entertainment when you think of countries like America, Korea, or Taiwan, or sports when you think of countries like Brazil or France. But what would you think of when I say Singapore? Honestly, food. What else? Even if you could come up with one or two names that have done Singapore proud, these handful of recognised talents are often considered lucky for being able to make it that big. And their contributions aren’t significant enough to be tied to our ‘nation’s speciality’. Perhaps, we’re just known for our robust markets and workforce. Anything else are considered ‘unconventional’. And in Singapore, there is a deep-rooted belief that there is “no future” for such ‘unconventional careers’, like singers, dancers, or artists. Basically, anything arts-related is deemed as impractical. Though it sounds sad, there is truth to such remarks because of the limited ways Singapore recognises talents.

A Rigid Definition Of Success

According to the Oxford dictionary, a talent is someone who possesses “natural aptitude or skill”. Naturally, we measure someone’s aptitude or skill by how well they do what they do, or how successful they do it. We associate talent with success because the ability to cook a bowl of Maggie curry wouldn’t instantly make one a Michelin-starred chef. However, the stiff mindset of only recognising talents when they are successful enough creates a whole host of other problems. While it is a fair consideration that helps separate the casual hobbyist and the dedicated ones with a higher calibre, it is also an obstacle that prevents those with potential to fully unleash their capabilities. The Ben Davis case was a good example. There are many points to debate about, but that is not what I’m driving. Instead, his case shows the very rigidity of the way we recognise talents. Or rather, how our governing bodies deem as ‘worthy enough a talent’, because apparently, a sportsman has to “represent Singapore in international competitions like the Olympic Games and are potential medal winners for Singapore” to be granted deferment for NS.

By following the books and emphasising that they are just following what have been set in stone, our leaders are essentially reinforcing the belief among Singaporeans that one is only considered a talent if one fits a certain mould. It also shows that in Singapore, one needs to make it really big before one is a talent worth recognising. Even as a kid back then, I remember the sayings about how you shouldn’t be proud of yourself until you get straight As or if you get first in class. Think about it: We only celebrate the achievements of Singaporeans if they far enough as to getting the podium spots. Can you imagine dedicating months of training for a world’s biggest competition only to be booed for getting any medals or not winning anything? How are we going to spot talents with such a prejudiced mindset? Is this the kind of environment we want to have to nurture talents?

Are We Too Pragmatic For Our Own Good?

This insular sense of success and talent also stems from a very practical part of us: The need to earn a living.   The first thing that comes to our minds when we think of success is someone who is rich or holds a high-paying career, who owns a car, lives in a nice house, and basically has most of the 5Cs. Our competitive society and the value of pragmatism have been so ingrained in us that it makes us fear failure. Instead of exploring possible ‘what ifs’ in a path less taken, most Singaporeans would opt for the safer route. Furthermore, there are no free meals and one still need a proper income to survive in Singapore.

I’ve known of many talented Singaporean dancers who have flown overseas on their own accord to compete in street dance competitions when I was in poly. While a handful had the opportunity to turn dance into their career, majority of those prominent and well-respected dancers back then, who inspired many generations of dancers after, are now salesmen, teachers, fathers, and housewives - for survival. They just could not earn a living from dance in Singapore. I can only imagine how much more potential they have and how much they could have achieved if they were granted more opportunities in dance here. We have been conditioned to focus on academics since young and thus we reserved the concept of success for those who make it big in the workforce or economy, to conventional paths like doctors, lawyers, and businessmen. We will be awestruck at Singaporeans getting into the list of the richest people in the world, but apathetic towards those who accomplish things on alternative paths. Take for example the recent achievements by two local choirs: NUSChoir was awarded the prestigious “Choir Of The World” title at an international music festival in UK; and ONE Chamber Choir took home three golds at the biannual World Choir Games, which saw 300 choirs from over 60 countries and regions competing. I bet more Singaporeans know about the trivialities in the spat between Hong Hui Fang and Pan Ling Ling than the aforementioned achievements. The love for drama is one, but the fact that Singaporeans just don’t care is the main issue here.

No Love For Our Talents

It takes two hands to clap. While government support plays a big part in supporting local talents, Singaporeans’ appreciation for our own talents is equally important. Many of us don’t give a damn in anything that doesn't affect us. And having grown up in a society that didn’t expose us to different forms of arts and didn’t prize the arts as of value, many of us grew up not knowing how to appreciate the arts. I personally never knew how to appreciate niche art forms like pottery, acapella, or even horticulture, but with social media and the support from opinion leaders and government bodies in various campaigns, exhibitions, and events, I’ve begun to understand those better. While I am not a convert, I now see the artistes’ labour and am able to appreciate the aptitude that is required to achieve what they presented. The worst that anyone can do is to be sceptical, and I can’t help but admit that many Singaporeans are exactly that - sceptics. Throughout the years, I have heard so many vituperative comments passed on local talents: On how local artistes try too hard to imitate famous American personalities; on how our actors and TV shows will never be as good as those from Hong Kong; on how Singaporean athletes only make it big because they have the money to ‘buy themselves a spot’. Even the most prodigious wouldn’t go far if they are belittled or denigrated for their efforts. I’ve had the chance to speak with Singaporean millennials chasing unconventional paths, like theatre arts company, The Second Breakfast Company (2BCo), and eSports team, Team Sovereign. Listening to them share their struggles, the one sentiment that was consistent is the lack of local support, not just from the government in terms of fundings or creating more opportunities, but from everyday Singaporeans. Let’s just say that no matter how much grants the government gives, for example, 2BCo, they will still not survive or go far if no one turns up for their plays. Just like how moral support helps a friend in need get by a trying time, the best way to help our local talents grow is by being accepting, encouraging, and appreciative of their efforts. Only when we change our mindsets will we be able to change the landscape for our talents. Also read: With Anti-Trump Protests Around The World, These Causes Closer To Home Are Also Worth Paying Attention To. (Header Image Credit: <a href=" Consulting)

"I have a good work-life balance. Everyone in my office knocks off at 5pm (or 6pm) every day."  - Said no one ever. Singaporeans are overworked AF - We clocked in the longest working hours in the world in 2017. On average, <a href=" work 45 hours a week. To most of us, 45 hours do not seem like a lot, but it's because we are so used to such working hours. In fact, staying in office way beyond our 'official working hours' or working overtime (OT) is considered a norm today. Granted, there are those who work till late because they are really swamped with important deadlines. However, many Singaporeans OT also because of the societal pressure that dignifies OT, making it seem like one needs to OT to show their dedication to the company.

THE PRESSURE TO STAY BACK

I recently came across an Instagram story a friend, Jason*, posted. In it, he shared about how he had left work at 6pm sharp, only to have one of his colleagues pass a snide comment at him, "wah today go home so early.” That comment may very well be passed off as a joke, but that wasn’t the first time Jason’s colleague made such comments. It happens every time Jason leaves work on time and it shows an underlying problem that is apparent in our work culture. It's worth noting that Jason gets to work at 9am, finishes all that is required for the day and leaves the office between 6pm to 6.30pm regularly. So on that fine day, Jason finally gave his snarky colleague a comeback, “Oh, hahaha, but I also come to work on time.”  

GIF by GIPHY

But this story isn't about giving snarky people a taste of their own medicine, it's about the unhealthy association we have with working OT and employee's value. As if an outlet that everyone was waiting for, Jason's story received an outpour of positive replies from friends and followers who had also experienced similar situations.

“Going home on time isn’t a crime and OT-ing isn’t a prize.”

Truer words could not have been spoken. Clearly, Jason isn't alone in this. Most of us have been in Jason's position at some point of our career. Somehow, we feel obliged to stay back beyond our designated knock off time, especially when everyone around us seems to be glued to their seats. In fact in our society today, staying back late is deemed a positive trait. It's not surprising for bosses to have the impression that an employee OTing in the office till 10pm is a hardworking one. When did staying late at work translate to employee dedication or value? And who's to say employees don't use that mentality to their benefit, exploiting it to show their "dedication" for their work? Contrarily, no one would instinctively think of an employee who leaves office on time as an A-star employee. Because of such workplace beliefs, we feel paiseh to be the first one out the door. We choose to stare at our screens in the office just because our other colleagues are doing so. Of course, I'm not implying that everyone OT for that sole reason because some really do have to get shit done. However, many of us have been a victim to this guilt and the fear that we will be looked down upon. It's a worrying mindset to have and kind of sad. Instead of prioritising productivity and good time management, we tend to patronise employees who leave on time and favour those who stay late, even if it could mean that they lack the two aforementioned skills.

STOP TORTURING YOURSELF

This unnecessary societal pressure is further egged on by something that is innately Singaporean: our "kiasu" mentality. We always want to be better than the person next to us. It's a national sport to be competitive and this mentality manifests itself in the hours we put into work. It cultivates an unhealthy showcase of competition where everyone wants to show that they're putting in equal, if not more effort than our peers. If we weren't all caught up in the rat race, there wouldn't be a need to do OT just to prove our worth in the first place. Ask anyone to choose between work or family and friends with the context that their livelihood isn't a problem and chances are most will choose family and friends. A survey from 2016 showed that about 50% Singaporeans said they don’t spend enough quality time with their family. With figures like these, it’s no surprise that Singaporeans constantly look like they're in need of a Red Bull. I know that we millennials like to think that we're invincible and while we're still young, we see the need to strive and work harder for better days. But everyone needs work-life balance. Not only does staying late affect our social life, it affects our physical and mental health. Working late into the night and waking up at 6am or 7am the next day for work again is only going to leave us drained. Besides, we've seen the many research studies that link stress and fatigue to decreased productivity. Even our eyes need a break from the computer screen every 20 minutes. We need to give our minds and a body a break. The less rest we get, the less productive we’ll be at work the next day, which leads to the need to OT and the vicious cycle repeats. Do we really want to live our life in an endless loop of feeling stoned? I certainly don't want to go about my life like 'the working dead'. We are human beings after all and the stress and mental fatigue that build up with constant OT should not be taken lightly. 'Death from overwork' is real - after clocking in more than 100 hours of overtime in a month, Matsuri Takahashi killed herself at the age of 24, and hers is not the only case in Japan that have been ruled 'death from overwork'. I'm thankful that the situation in Singapore isn't as drastic, but I also hope we never have to see that headline on local news.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A MYTH

Many of us today believe that work-life balance is simply not possible. “No such thing one lah!” We say. On the other hand, I have friends in countries like Australia, who tell me how they are blessed with employers who encourage them to leave work on time. One of them even shared that her employer had told her to go home two hours early because she had finished what she had to do for the day. Holler at me if you find an employer who would do that in Singapore. Working hours were made to be 8 hours for a reason. Whether it's to make sure people don't go insane from work or whatsoever, there's no need to stay back in the office unless we really need to - like to complete urgent projects or client deadlines that we die-die have to finish. Remember that at the end of the day, we work to earn a living, but is it worth it to be only living for work? It’s cool if you want to be a Jason. If you're done with work, go forth and leave the damn office when the clock strikes six. And if your bosses don't seem to comprehend the concept of productivity and that you are human, you can decide if you're paid enough to sell your life to work. And if you’re someone who likes to take a lot of breaks during the day because you just work better at night, that’s great too. Just, maybe, refrain from being condescending to those who leave on time. *Name has been changed to prevent the individual from losing his job. Also read: “It’s Just My Job” – Not All Insurance Agents Are Annoying Assholes

More colloquially known as Ah Beng Handphone Shops, neighbourhood handphone shops have been around for as long as I can remember. Many of us see such shops as dodgy and shady, with some going so far as to say that these shops are “just money laundering fronts.” It doesn’t help that these shops are usually run by seemingly twenty-to-forty-plus-year-old guys who would speak a brusque mix of Mandarin, dialect, and English. Together with their tough demeanor and the loud music that you can find blaring from some of such shops further alludes that of an ah beng. Gradually, the impression that these shops are Ah Beng Handphone Shops stuck, even though not all of such shops are run by ah bengs.  But after all these years and in a time where even big names like HMV and Kinokuniya have closed down amidst the retail doom, these small Ah Beng Handphone Shops are surprisingly still surviving. This is also despite the advent of e-commerce, Carousell, and Facebook live auctions. For the purpose of brevity in this article, I will be referring to such shops as Ah Beng Shops hereon. With many unanswered questions like how these Ah Beng Shops are still around and how they actually do business, I decided to take a trip to one of the older neighbourhoods, Bedok Central, to search for them.

Ah Beng Shops’ Ah Bengs Don’t Look That Ah Beng

Many of us have the impression that the people running Ah Beng Shops are ah bengs. When I left office for Bedok, I had even told my colleagues that I was going to make new ah beng friends from Ah Beng Shops. “Good luck, have fun,” they said. Of the 15 to 20 Ah Beng Shops I walked past, only three of the shop staff looked a little like ah bengs. And only one shop exuded the ‘ah beng vibe’: blasting music so loudly that it could be heard from a few shops down, and a strong smell of cigarette smoke emanating from the shop. Even so, the staff of that shop looked like an ordinary teenage boy - no gold hair, piercings, or tattoos like what you would expect of a typical ah beng. In fact, more than half the shops I saw were either run by uncles who look like those you’d catch stirring kopi while watching TV at kopitiams at midday, or average young men who look like they were just working a part-time job to earn some money.

Some of the Ah Beng Shops were an amusing sight as they were not so much a shop as they were a single counter awkwardly placed at a corner of another retail shop peddling completely unrelated items - imagine an uncle at a small mobile phone counter at the corner of a hair accessories shop. Bizarre. After being shooed away by five Ah Beng Shops to “try the other shops”, and told by one that “here nobody will want to talk one lah, what to talk? Do business only, nothing to talk about,” I was thankful to finally chat with Leon*.

Venturing Into The Ah Beng Shop Industry

I first stepped into Leon’s shop with dread for he looked like a middle-aged ah beng who would spout an uncouth mix of Hokkien and Mandarin, and I panicked at having to express myself with my atrocious grasp of Mandarin. The other half of me was worried that he will bite my head off for poking into his business. However, my perception of him totally changed as our conversation started, making me guilty for putting such a stereotype on him before I even spoke to him. Not only could he speak in fluent English, he expressed himself well. It was evident that Leon was neither illiterate nor an ah beng. As I came to know later on, he is in fact a graduate from a local university. For 40-year-old Leon, venturing into this trade wasn’t a choice as much as it was a fight for survival. Previously a branch manager at a bank, Leon had to do a drastic midlife career change after getting embroiled in a bad case of office politics, leaving him no choice but to leave the banking industry for good. Having spent 10 years in the banking industry and well into his thirties, switching to a completely new industry was not only a scary thought, it was problematic. Many of the routes he considered, like going into F&B, would require him to start from the bottom again - something he cannot afford as a father who has to support his daughter and his aging parents. With the help of friends dealing with mobile phones, he settled on opening an Ah Beng Shop together with a business partner. Even then, he had to learn the ropes of the trade by himself, spoiling many phones and paying many ‘school fees’ in the process.

Fighting For A Slice Of Pie

While there are Ah Beng Shop bosses who could diversify with multiple shops across the island to capitalise from different groups of customers like Seedly wrote about in an article, Leon only has one physical store. Having counted more than 15 Ah Beng Shops in the vicinity, I wondered how Leon even survives amidst such extreme competition. “Actually, there are more than 20 shops here,” he corrected me nonchalantly, “it’s very competitive, so we just have to find more channels of revenue online.” Although Leon doesn’t have multiple shop fronts, he operates his business over online platforms like Carousell and Qoo10. He also travels around to collect mobile phones from other shops around Singapore for repair, which his staff and himself would stay up until past midnight to complete.

“It’s not possible to survive just by sitting in the shop and waiting for customers to walk in. We have to reach customers from as many avenues as possible.” True enough, the 45 minutes that I was there, only two people stopped by: a migrant worker who asked if the shop takes in a certain model of mobile phone, and a little girl who was just wandering around. None culminated in any sales. Leon’s sentiments of having to find more ways to make money was echoed by Chan*, the boss of another Ah Beng Shop I managed to speak with. Having spent more than 20 years in this line ever since he came out of NS, Chan emphasised the importance of going online to reach more audience because the market is way more competitive today. Even with his online foray, Chan still has to make at least a few hundred dollars daily in the shop to maintain overheads and profit. “Because of the current online market, customers have a lot more options and are smarter, so it’s not just important to go online but also to provide good service.” Like Leon, Chan runs one physical store with a business partner and sells their business services on multiple online platforms. Explaining further on providing good service, “it’s very hard to profit from just selling items today. You can sell something at a thousand dollars but only earn $10.” Instead of employing aggressive sales techniques or trying to be the cheapest, Chan prides himself in simple, honest service and leaves it to customers to decide. Despite the odds, Chan’s business never ran into a deficit, which he attributes to his loyal customers.

Leon, however, isn’t as fortunate with his business finances. On good days, Leon’s shop makes a four-figure sum, “a middle-tier office worker’s salary,” but these days, one good day is usually followed by three bad days. And on bad days, they would literally have $0 revenue. With rental and staff salary, that means making a loss. Many times, Leon even had to fork money out from his own pocket just to keep the business afloat, but “you gotta do what you gotta do. I’ve got a wife, a daughter, what else can I do if I don’t make this work?” His expressions tell of someone who is jaded, yet hopeful for better days ahead.

The Shame That Comes With The Ah Beng Label

Having runned this business for close to six years, I asked how Leon felt about being labelled an ah beng merely because he ran an Ah Beng Shop. “Like that lor, if people want to think of us that way, what can I do about it?” However, when I probed further about his family, his reaction was a different one altogether. “My mum would say things like ‘waste money send you to university, then now you come out and do this kind of things’, ‘so shameful’, and that I’m a disgrace.” As Leon shared about the hurtful judgment from his own mother, I couldn’t help but notice his quivering lips when he paused to find the right words, as if holding back some repressed emotions. Leon’s wife works an office job and would always encourage him to join her at company gatherings, but having seen the reactions people would give whenever he reveals what he works as, he would choose to avoid such social gatherings because “I don’t want to embarrass or make things awkward for my wife.” Leon gets such judgment from other parents when he picks his daughter up from school as well.  “When I tell (the other parents) that I sell handphones for a living, they will look at me like this.” Leon proceeded to stare at me with wide-opened eyes and raised eyebrows - a puzzled look that is best expressed with the words 'What?' and ‘Why?’. Confirming my suspicions that such negative judgement from people gets to him, Leon bemoaned about the lack of respect for people in his trade. Having to serve many ridiculous customer requests throughout the years ranging from requests to stick on customers’ screen protector for free to being maligned for spoiling a phone after teaching someone how to upload a photo on Facebook, Leon explained that their tough, no-nonsense personality came about because of such customers. “Then if we don’t agree to these requests, customers will say ‘your service sucks’.”

Then, there are the shrewd customers who like to compare prices to what they can get online from websites like Taobao. To which Leon will reason, “Are you going to go to a restaurant and ask them why their dishes are so expensive when the ingredients are sold at a much cheaper price at the supermarket?” While Leon lamented that people tend to treat them like nothing and only look for them when their services are needed, he said that appreciative customers make the struggle worthwhile. And as much as I would have loved to justify that Singaporeans aren’t that terrible, I had to agree that his is of a job so undervalued and underappreciated. Yet, whenever we want a quick fix for our phone or wish to sell our used phones away, many Singaporeans still look to them for getting these done. A job that many people look down on, and one where no Singaporeans want to take on anymore. In fact, both Leon and Chan have to resort to hiring only foreigners, because it is almost impossible for them to find any locals willing to work in this line. Moreover, working in retail also means long hours and burning away weekends. Even as a boss, Leon dedicates every day of the week to his shop so that he can earn enough. “I hardly have time for my daughter. I wish I got more time to spend with her, but what to do? I need to support my family.” As I understood more about the hardship Leon and the other Ah Beng Shop bosses or staff face in such a diminishing trade, I started to have a new-found respect for them. After all, ah beng, uncle, or ah boy, these people are but retail workers who are there running a legit business to provide convenience to anyone who need quick mobile phone solutions. * Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals. Also read: The Blue Tax? The True Cost Of Being A Man In Singapore. (Header Image Credit: Mobile Square)

This post is written in partnership with NDPeeps. The more we age the more we love reminiscing the good ol’ days. It’s almost as if we don’t want to grow up (some of us really don’t want to). Even the older generation tend to go on about their kampong days. As such, we asked millennials to recall their favourite and most Singaporean childhood activities from when they were in primary school. Here, we’ve rounded up 10 of the most memorable activities from childhood!

1. Taking Neoprints

When camera phones were luxury and polaroid cameras not a trend yet, Neoprint shops were where we flocked to for group photos and entertainment. Not only was it fun to be able to doodle, add cute stickers and other fancy effects on the photos, it felt like magic to see the photos drop out of that little collection slot. For primary school kids who were getting $2 to $5 worth of pocket money from our parents, Neoprints were affordable thrills.

2. Chatting On MSN Messenger

Who can forget MSN Messenger? We sent annoying winks and spammed nudges when someone went AFK and we repeatedly go online and offline just to catch our crush’s attention. Way before we had Skype, Friendster, or Facebook, MSN Messenger was our social media. It was where we put up our display pictures, wrote our song lyric statuses, had our first group chats, and even played two-player games online.  

3. Block Catching

Back in school, we had our own imaginative ways to fill our spare time. Be it over recess time or after school, all of us have played those hand clapping games like “Pepsi Cola 1 2 3” (our version of Thumb war), “Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass”, “Vampire, Vampire, Vampire Cheh”, and “O Pillar Caterpillar”. There are those that incorporated our whole body too, like Pepsi Cola 1 2 3 (leg version which required us to oust each other by stepping on another person’s feet), the Scissors, Paper, Stone game with legs stretching, Ice And Water, and Crocodile. Then there are those we played with the use of some ‘props’, like the Cat’s Cradle String Game, Monkey, Poison Ball, and Flag Eraser Game. For the luckier kids, we had Digimon fights, Beyblade battles, and Tamiya races.

5. Creating Polyphonic Ringtones

While mobile phones were indestructible, we didn’t have the luxury of setting our favourite tunes as ringtones. We could, however, create our own polyphonic ringtones. Many of us end up mashing random buttons trying to create a tune that may sound remotely decent. More often than not, we end up with some weird Hotel-California-on-reverse kind of melody.

6. ‘Slacking’ On Special School Days

Whether it was Sports Day, Teacher’s Day, Children’s Day, or any other ‘special’ school days, we loved that we got to enjoy some official school hours on non-academic activities. It didn’t matter that we weren’t in any sports team or in any part of the performances, we were just thankful for the ‘break’.  

7. P5 Camp

For a kid, P5 camp was freedom (away from the watchful eyes of our parents) and a taste of adulthood. It was probably also the first time many of us got to kayak, conquer a high elements obstacle course and flying fox, attempt rock climbing, went on a night walk, and had a campfire experience.

8. Doing Nothing After PSLE

There was that few weeks where we had no academic agenda after PSLE and being able to go to school without having to study at all was the best time ever. Some of us watched movies in school and others played card games. Lucky for me, my cohort got to go for field trips and we even got to stay overnight at Underwater World!

9. Writing Autograph Books

The post-PSLE period was also where many of us started our autograph books. From our birthdate and zodiac to our favourite food and pet peeves, autograph books were our way of remembering each other.  

10. Watching NDP Rehearsals Live

Besides the P5 camp and special school days, one other memorable school activity was being able to catch the NDP rehearsal live at the Padang. Watching it on TV was one thing but it was a completely different experience when we first heard the roar of the airplanes flying overhead and seeing the fireworks live. As kids, we loved that we had a reason to dress up in red together with all our friends. It also felt like we were part of something bigger than we were, especially when we did the iconic Kallang Wave. Not forgetting the NDP fun packs filled with various snacks, noisemakers, and toys that make the parade that bit more fun - it was even a 'thing' to be carrying around the fun pack bags after. 

Remember Our Past, Strive For Our Future

As we progress further into the digital age, let's preserve all these truly Singaporean activities that were such a big part of our lives when we were kids. And as we countdown to yet another year with Singapore’s birthday, let’s not forget all the little things that make us Singaporean. Instead of letting controversial events divide us, let’s stay united and help shape Singapore together for future generations. What are some of the most nostalgic things you did in your childhood? Share them with us in the comments! Check out NDPeeps for all the National Day moments leading up to 9 August on their Facebook page here, and their Instagram here! Also read: 9 Moments In National Day History That Made Us Damn Proud To Be Singaporean. (Header Image composited from images from: thelittledromstore, <a href=" Crown, YouTube, Imgur)

The LGBT movement in Singapore has come a long way. But no matter how far we’ve progressed, there seems to be a brick wall limiting how far more the movement can go. Pink Dot has been painting Hong Lim Park with the colours of Gay Pride every year since 2009. More people are coming out with the help of advocates and media platforms that share their stories, like Dear Straight People. Despite the increase in visibility and conversations surrounding LGBT today, however, there’s still no real change. We are stuck in a time where our society seem to be generally more progressive, but our constitution remains traditional, with many ‘LGBT things’ that are still illegal in the eyes of the law.

LGBT People Are Criminals?

While LGBT people can live normally among us without having to worry that they will be stoned to death if they were to walk down the street hand-in-hand, they still lack many of the legal rights that non-LGBT people have. Same-sex relationships are not recognised under the law and it’s evident in many areas from not being able to be legally married (Section 12 of the Women’s Charter) and having kids to issues with housing and assets distribution after death. In 2017, a couple lost their BTO because their marriage was voided. and all because the man went for a sex change, rendering their same-sex marriage invalid.  I personally know a gay man who had to go through the trouble of flying overseas, paying six-digit sums for assisted reproduction, marrying the surrogate mother then divorcing her, just so that he could be legally recognised as the father to his biological children. Such are the lengths that LGBT people have to go to for something that is so normal for non-LGBT people. Then, there’s the much-contested Section 377A of Singapore's Penal Code, which prohibits two men from having sex with each other, even if it’s done in private. Although this law hasn’t been actively enforced, with only nine people convicted under this provision between 2007 and 2013.

In case you’re aren’t aware yet, the Penal Code used to criminalise “carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals" under Section 377. It was tabled for repeal during the the 2007 Penal Code Review, but not Section 377A. Nominated Member of Parliament Siew Kum Hong presented a petition for the repeal of Section 377A but the Parliament opted to keep Section 377A, which criminalises male homosexual conduct specifically. <a href=" explained, “public morality does not target female homosexual conduct in the same way as it targets male homosexual conduct.” Also, “female homosexual conduct is either less prevalent or is seen as being less repugnant than male homosexual.” In other words, the authorities have opted to keep it illegal for men to have sex with each other (but not women) because they felt that Singaporeans weren’t ready to completely accept homosexual behaviour, particularly homosexuality between men, and that the society is more unaccepting of gays compared to lesbians. To be awfully honest, I agree with that notion.

Are We Really Ready?

Singapore doesn’t seem to be ready to accept the LGBT movement and community. Look at the controversy surrounding Cathay Cineleisure’s advertisement of Pink Dot 2017. Someone had complained about the advertisement and its “supporting the freedom to love” tagline because to them, that goes against family values. That complaint had led the authorities to call for Cathay to remove the tagline but Cathay stood firm with their decision to run the ad in the end, and I applaud them for standing up against such complaints and the authorities. It isn’t easy for big names or brands like Cathay to stand for a cause so controversial in Singapore’s society. In a society where discrimination lies even within certain laws, and where LGBT messages are still frowned upon by older generations and discussed in hushed exchanges among the more conservative. Another good example of why it’s hard for renowned brands or names to stand up for the cause is when popular local influencer, Hirzi, became an ambassador for Pink Dot 2017. Hirzi came under fire for standing for the LGBT movement for a myriad of reasons, mainly for going against his religion, Islam. In numerous interviews, he shared about how he had lost friends, been spat on his face, and been told not to associate himself with brands he was working for, after he became a Pink Dot ambassador.

“Brands have literally said, “We know it’s fashion week, and we already approved you guys already, wearing the outfits, but can you don’t tag us because we are a heterosexual brand.” Quote taken from Studio AC’s interview with Hirzi

In the Studio AC video interview, Hirzi also shared a case where a friend of his was discriminated against because of her sexuality. Someone had wanted to hire her dance crew to perform at an event but had requested for her to not be part of the performance, just because she’s a transsexual. It is pretty clear that the brand or event organiser was concerned about having a trans as part of the event or performance; That they felt that having a trans on their stage was too much of a negative association to have with their brand or event. And that shows exactly how closed-minded our society still is. The organiser may have done that to prevent possible complaints from event attendees. But that is the problem.

Don’t leave it to political leaders to lift the weight

The authorities are waiting to see if Singapore and Singaporeans are ready for such ‘radical’ change. But brands and Singaporeans aren’t stepping up to stand for the LGBT movement because the law doesn’t favour the movement. It’s a vicious cycle. We need to break that cycle. Every coming out story in the media and every brand representation in support of the LGBT movement add up. Brands and opinion leaders need to pave the way for more open conversations. It can be hard to start, but all it takes is one party to create the ripple effect. It could be as simple as showcasing portraits of LGBT people, which is exactly what internationally renowned photographer Leslie Kee did. The Out In Singapore project, which culminated in an exhibition that opened yesterday, features 150 portraits of the “diverse faces of the local lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community and humanise what it means to be LGBTQ.”

By shedding a gentle spotlight on these LGBT individuals, the project was a way to create conversations and normalise LGBTQ. For some of the individuals, it was even a chance for them to come out. As a non-LGBT millennial who grew up in a 100% heterosexual family (including extended family), we never outrightly talked about anything LGBT. However, it is an unspoken understanding that being LGBT ‘is not the way to go’ to my parents and their generation. I see it from the way they joke about gays and hear it from their derogatory tone when discussing LGBT topics. There’s still a stigma surrounding this movement in the older generations and it is a longstanding battle. But it’s a battle that our generation, who are more receptive of the LGBT movement, have to help fight. If we continue to be accepting but apathetic, there will never be progress. As such, more has to be done to also help our society to be more open-minded and receptive. Covering your child’s eyes or telling them not to become like ‘those LGBT people’ when they grow up isn’t going to help. We need to be more open-minded as to being able to separate religion and sexuality. Some religions have strict beliefs in sexuality, and that’s completely fine. But just as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, we should learn to agree to disagree. We need to be more willing to listen. Take notes from these Christians who went to a pride parade to apologise for the way they or fellow Christians have been treating the LGBT community. Also, as Hirzi shared in the interview with Studio AC, standing for a cause is a completely different narrative from the person you are. If I were to pledge my support to the handicapped, it doesn’t mean that I am handicapped. Nor does it mean that I am promoting the handicapped. It merely means that I empathise with the handicapped people and am showing that I accept and embrace them as part of our society. Also read, My Sexuality, My Right: “A Stranger Wanted Me To Apologise For My ‘Lesbian Appearance'”. (Header Image Credit: Calvin IG@calvinavigator via Pink Dot 2017) *Article Revised: We have corrected some of the facts that the writer has inaccurately presented on certain sections of the Penal Code. We are sorry for the mistake.