The same goes for K-Pop fans, film geeks, fitness enthusiasts and so forth.
After all, parts of our identity can be ascribed to our environment and the content we consume. No one’s identity is free from influence or cultivation. Our environment, upbringing, beliefs and experiences all play a part in creating our identity.
Once upon a time, my friends and I taped up our webcams as a precautionary measure after watching an episode of Black Mirror where the lead character was blackmailed with footage that was obtained after his webcam got hacked. Turns out, almost everyone who watched that episode did the exact same thing.
The fact is you’re not going to be the only one who feels, think or act a certain way.
Even so, we try excruciatingly hard to be unique. We’d willingly trade our $1.60 Kopi bing for $6 Iced Coconut Latte (read: hipsters) and ditch our mama shop flip-flops for Gucci sliders (read: hypebeasts) because we’d much rather disappear off the face of the earth than to be seen as an average individual. Hell, we’d even force-feed ourselves the lovechild of McMuffin and Hotcakes just to ride on the McGriddles hype train and be seen as a #foodie.
I once knew someone, let’s call him Ben, who embodied the average joe stereotype with his H&M clothes, Kopitiam card and his overplayed Top 30 radio hits playlist. Ben was fine with that, that is until the girl he’s interested in commented that he’s too “basic” for her liking. Hurt, he did a 180 and began to splurge on the latest clothes and sneakers and he replaced his mainstream playlist with hip-hop, trance, and underground R&B tunes. Now, his former average joe self-seems like a distant memory, but I can’t help but think that in a way, he fell victim to society’s idealistic belief of us having to be a special individual to make the most out of life.
As much as we’d want to be seen as an original, there’s a fine line between rebelling against the masses for what you stand for and deviating from the norm just because you want to be different from the rest. It’s important that we do not do the latter and end up like another Ben.
It is also unrealistic for us to aspire to be known as the only Priscilla aka Pop Punk Girl With Unorthodox Views or the only Marc aka The Musically Inclined Athlete because there’s bound to be someone out there who’s an exact copy of you. Even our names, an integral part of our identity, are shared with strangers all over the world.
To call yourself a 100% unique individual would be trying to convince yourself that the moon is really following you. So, don’t exhaust yourself in a bid to be known as an original. If you don’t feel the need to replace your entire wardrobe every new year or if you love your mainstream Top 30 songs because that’s just how you roll, then so be it.
It’s your life and you should own it, regardless of what society expects of you.
Also read, The Ugly Truth: Not Everyone Is Beautiful.
Being single’s great. You have the freedom to do anything you want, whenever you want.
When all your friends start to get attached and you’re the only one left on the shelf, you tend to notice the ‘coupley things’ they do. More so than ever, these lovey-dovey exchanges between the lovebirds bother you.
As much as you’re sincerely happy for them, there are times you wish you could deck them in the face for behaving as such.
You try not to react to their cheesy banter, but that doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with them cooing at each other in your presence.
It can be hard to tell a friend that they’re being super gross though. So we reached out to our single friends and put together a list of typical things Singapore couples do that annoys them. A list you can use to drop subtle hints on your (cringey) couple friends.
Dear couples, stop:
It makes us mildly uncomfortable to hear one friend call the other friend ‘dear’, ‘darling’, or even ‘baby’, but we’re still cool with it - we probably just need time to get used to it.
But when you start calling each other “princess”, “dear dear”, or “bii bii” from across the room, it’s tough for us to not cringe.
We’re just amazed at how someone can talk (and behave) like a dominant leader with us, yet go all soft and talk with the voice of a ‘super kawaii’ anime girl in front of her boyfriend. It's even worse when it's the guy who goes soft in front of his girlfriend.
Don’t act cute leh.
Control your hormones, can? Stop. Touching. Each. Other.
It’s super awkward for us when you keep touching, hugging, and playing tongue wrestle while you’re on the train. Or anywhere really, when you’re hanging out with us.
When you bring up your Bae or relationship in every single topic, it makes us feel like you’re subtly showing off your ‘in-love status’ at every opportunity.
We’re not jealous of you, but we wonder if your relationship is all that defines you.
You do not belong to your Bae.
It’s understandable if you’re heading out with people of the opposite sex, but do you really have to ask Bae if you can go for dinner and shopping with your girlfriends - or for the guys, drinks with your buddies? There’s a line between letting Bae know what’s going on in your life and being a puppet y'know.
It’s annoying enough to have someone fly aeroplane on gatherings that have been planned weeks ago. But it’s even more irritating when you’re ditching us to have dinner with your Bae because s/he's having a bad day.
Priorities.
It’s called a girls/boys night out for a reason. It’s not for us to see you guys flirt with each other at one corner while we have girls/boys talk.
We’re all for healthy ‘arguments’ in a relationship, but not when we're supposed to be out having a good time with the group.
You wouldn’t want to see your parents argue in front of you. Likewise, we don’t want to see you guys screaming at each other over ridiculous disputes while we try to cajole the both of you.
The world has so many things to worry about, and your emo selfies and rants aren’t one.
You’re just making yourself look pitiful by telling everyone that s/he broke your heart, and not in a good way. Your Bae won't be happy to see you air your grievances about her/him online either.
Similarly, please stop flooding your Instagram or Facebook with all your couple selfies. We get that these photos are sweet memories, but it gets annoying when every single post on your feed is of the two of you in embrace.
What’s worse is when they come with captions like how sweet your boyfriend is or how in love you are.
And these cheesy comments: “Baby I love you so much.” “Aww baby, I love you more.”
Guys, can y’all just text each other privately?
Yes, we are a little sad for being the only single one left in the clique. But please stop feeling bad for us because that’s only going to annoy us even further.
Like you guys talking about couple dates, only to go, “oh no, but you’re single, shit I’m so sorry, but it’s okay, you can come too if you want.”
We know that you feel bad. We appreciate that you still consider our feelings. And we really don’t mind being the odd one out in the group. But after the guilt-induced invitation, we also know that we’d be a burden if we do join in.
This one's mainly for the ladies:
When your boyfriend sends you flowers for no particular reason, don’t go around saying things like, “why he so boliao, waste money on this kind of things,” only to post a photo of it up on Instagram an hour later captioned, “So touched that Baby sent me this.”
There’re still plenty more, but this list pretty much sums up the main bulk of our annoyance. We get that you’re smitten. We love the strong chemistry and bond you guys have, but we'd prefer if you keep’em between the both of you. Spare us.
But if you’re looking for someone to do all these grossly sweet things with you, you can try looking for love here.
How about you? What are some things couples do that annoys you?
Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.
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