This post is written in partnership with NDPeeps. The more we age the more we love reminiscing the good ol’ days. It’s almost as if we don’t want to grow up (some of us really don’t want to). Even the older generation tend to go on about their kampong days. As such, we asked millennials to recall their favourite and most Singaporean childhood activities from when they were in primary school. Here, we’ve rounded up 10 of the most memorable activities from childhood!

1. Taking Neoprints

When camera phones were luxury and polaroid cameras not a trend yet, Neoprint shops were where we flocked to for group photos and entertainment. Not only was it fun to be able to doodle, add cute stickers and other fancy effects on the photos, it felt like magic to see the photos drop out of that little collection slot. For primary school kids who were getting $2 to $5 worth of pocket money from our parents, Neoprints were affordable thrills.

2. Chatting On MSN Messenger

Who can forget MSN Messenger? We sent annoying winks and spammed nudges when someone went AFK and we repeatedly go online and offline just to catch our crush’s attention. Way before we had Skype, Friendster, or Facebook, MSN Messenger was our social media. It was where we put up our display pictures, wrote our song lyric statuses, had our first group chats, and even played two-player games online.  

3. Block Catching

Back in school, we had our own imaginative ways to fill our spare time. Be it over recess time or after school, all of us have played those hand clapping games like “Pepsi Cola 1 2 3” (our version of Thumb war), “Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass”, “Vampire, Vampire, Vampire Cheh”, and “O Pillar Caterpillar”. There are those that incorporated our whole body too, like Pepsi Cola 1 2 3 (leg version which required us to oust each other by stepping on another person’s feet), the Scissors, Paper, Stone game with legs stretching, Ice And Water, and Crocodile. Then there are those we played with the use of some ‘props’, like the Cat’s Cradle String Game, Monkey, Poison Ball, and Flag Eraser Game. For the luckier kids, we had Digimon fights, Beyblade battles, and Tamiya races.

5. Creating Polyphonic Ringtones

While mobile phones were indestructible, we didn’t have the luxury of setting our favourite tunes as ringtones. We could, however, create our own polyphonic ringtones. Many of us end up mashing random buttons trying to create a tune that may sound remotely decent. More often than not, we end up with some weird Hotel-California-on-reverse kind of melody.

6. ‘Slacking’ On Special School Days

Whether it was Sports Day, Teacher’s Day, Children’s Day, or any other ‘special’ school days, we loved that we got to enjoy some official school hours on non-academic activities. It didn’t matter that we weren’t in any sports team or in any part of the performances, we were just thankful for the ‘break’.  

7. P5 Camp

For a kid, P5 camp was freedom (away from the watchful eyes of our parents) and a taste of adulthood. It was probably also the first time many of us got to kayak, conquer a high elements obstacle course and flying fox, attempt rock climbing, went on a night walk, and had a campfire experience.

8. Doing Nothing After PSLE

There was that few weeks where we had no academic agenda after PSLE and being able to go to school without having to study at all was the best time ever. Some of us watched movies in school and others played card games. Lucky for me, my cohort got to go for field trips and we even got to stay overnight at Underwater World!

9. Writing Autograph Books

The post-PSLE period was also where many of us started our autograph books. From our birthdate and zodiac to our favourite food and pet peeves, autograph books were our way of remembering each other.  

10. Watching NDP Rehearsals Live

Besides the P5 camp and special school days, one other memorable school activity was being able to catch the NDP rehearsal live at the Padang. Watching it on TV was one thing but it was a completely different experience when we first heard the roar of the airplanes flying overhead and seeing the fireworks live. As kids, we loved that we had a reason to dress up in red together with all our friends. It also felt like we were part of something bigger than we were, especially when we did the iconic Kallang Wave. Not forgetting the NDP fun packs filled with various snacks, noisemakers, and toys that make the parade that bit more fun - it was even a 'thing' to be carrying around the fun pack bags after. 

Remember Our Past, Strive For Our Future

As we progress further into the digital age, let's preserve all these truly Singaporean activities that were such a big part of our lives when we were kids. And as we countdown to yet another year with Singapore’s birthday, let’s not forget all the little things that make us Singaporean. Instead of letting controversial events divide us, let’s stay united and help shape Singapore together for future generations. What are some of the most nostalgic things you did in your childhood? Share them with us in the comments! Check out NDPeeps for all the National Day moments leading up to 9 August on their Facebook page here, and their Instagram here! Also read: 9 Moments In National Day History That Made Us Damn Proud To Be Singaporean. (Header Image composited from images from: thelittledromstore, <a href=" Crown, YouTube, Imgur)

As conservative as our society is, millennials are no longer the generation that practices abstinence until marriage. In fact, those who still do abstain are the odd ones out who get teased. Whether it’s statistics from an Institute of Policy Studies that '1 in every 2 Singapore residents do not feel that pre-marital sex is bad' or just the general reactions during sex talks among our social circles - it’s no longer a surprise when you find out that your couple friends are having sex, in fact it’s almost expected. We hear a lot about sex from Western culture, but what about Singaporeans? Curious to find out how fellow locals feel about sex, I spoke to 15 Singaporean millennials. How important is sex in a relationship and is sexual compatibility a deal breaker? Here’s what I found.

How Important Is Sex In A Relationship?

As expected, 11 of 15 Singaporeans (73%) surveyed find sex to be quite important to very important. Not surprising at all, considering all the messages I have grown up being exposed to from Hollywood TV shows and rom-com films to celebrity gossip news. The main reasons behind those who see sex as a significant part of a relationship are that sex is an unspoken way to express love, affection, and intimacy that’s more than just friendship. Then, there’s some that consider it important as it’s part of their love language. One of them shared, sex is “a cornerstone of every relationship. It's the biggest way of showing each other affection and love, apart from the day-to-day small gestures.”

Sex is also a way for some of them to keep the flame alive and for one married millennial, “without sex, it feels like something is missing in the relationship. Sex makes me feel a whole other level of intimacy and closeness with my partner.” For the four from the other camp, one has chosen to abstain from sex due to religious beliefs while the rest reasoned that there are other factors that define a relationship, like personality or being able to appreciate quality time with each other.

What About Sexual Compatibility, Is It A Deal Breaker?

Even though more than 70% voted that sex is important in a relationship, only 6 of 15 (40%) felt that sexual compatibility is a deal breaker - a result I am surprised at, which I will share why further down. The two main reasons behind sexual compatibility being a deal breaker for these millennials are the conflict of values and the difficulty in compromising on sexual preferences. Essentially, if one has certain beliefs or values on sex, especially on abstaining due to religion, the other will have to ‘reciprocate’. It will be a big problem if a couple’s personal beliefs and values don’t align. Also, it’s very hard to compromise on something like sexual desire, “you don’t want to have sex with someone who goes left when you go right, or if someone expects sex everyday but the other don’t want to.” As for the majority (60%) that voted sexual compatibility as not a deal breaker, they reasoned that it boils down to communication and being mature enough to come to a common understanding. For them, a couple can make the choice on sexual compatibility being an issue or not, “as long as both parties are open to trying, experimenting, or coming to an agreement to compromise for each other. Otherwise, it could lead to repressed sexual emotions or even cheating.” Just like personality quirks, two also said that it is about respecting your partner’s sexual desires and needs - “when you know they are doing something they don't really like in bed just for you, it makes you treasure the other person more."

I Disagree With The Results

Contrary to the results of the survey, I personally don’t find sex to be particularly important in a relationship. I do see how such intimacy can help with keeping things exciting, but I value many other parts that constitutes a relationship, like warm hugs, deep conversations, or just the plain, old commitment to stick with each other through thick or thin. Or perhaps, you can say that I have a way lower sex drive than others. After all, sex is really a personal preference, as with how some people have sexual kinks while others don’t. I am, however, very surprised at how only 40% (6/15) of those surveyed consider sexual compatibility a deal breaker because I have always thought that a person’s sexual preferences is an innate drive that is very hard to compromise or even change. For one, differing sexual expectations can put unhealthy amounts of stress on the relationship. I once dated a guy who wanted sex a lot, while I was unsure if I was ready to lose my virginity. As a result of pressure, the guilt I felt from not making him happy as a girlfriend, and the intention of shutting his constant ‘just try only la’ up once and for all, I succumbed.

My giving in, however, gave him the chance to ask for us to do it more. But as anyone would know, the more you ask for something from someone who doesn’t want it, the more the person won’t want to do it. He’d even put on porn for us to watch just so it may get me aroused. The situation got so bad that it became a natural tendency for me to shut off the moment he started kissing me - I even felt grossed out.   As one wise guy I surveyed shared, “everything leading to sex and sex itself put you in a position where you are not only physically but mentally vulnerable to your other half. The whole act as a couple shows the amount of trust you have with them not to hurt you, but an act of affirmation that this is between you two.” Thus, having the same level of understanding on sex and intimacy is something I feel extremely important. I’m not a strong believer in my faith but I know people who choose to follow the values that they were taught in their religion. Whether it’s the belief that sex is something sacred only reserved for the one they marry or that it’s just considered sinful to engage in pre-marital sex, such beliefs can create a lot of problems for a couple. Take for example a free-thinker friend of mine, Nathan*, who once dated a Mormon girl. Among many other strict rules in the religion, Mormons are not allowed to engage in intimate touching and kissing outside of a heterosexual marriage, let alone pre-marital sex. They naturally broke many of those ‘rules’ and while she couldn’t deny enjoying what they did, she’d feel guilty about it. As for Nathan, he’d always have to wonder where to draw the line, always treading on thin line and hoping that they won't get into any kind of trouble. That’s not a healthy way to date. Then, there’s media and peer influence. A couple needs to be fully clear and accepting of each other sexual preferences (or how often to have sex). Otherwise, it is very easy to be swayed by society or be pressured into being ‘normal’ like the rest.

Sex Is Just One Part Of A Relationship

Regardless, a relationship is a lot more than just sex. For some, sex is something that they absolutely cannot do without while others see it as a non-essential relationship activity. To say that sex should be important in all relationships or sexual compatibility should be a deal breaker is akin to trying to force someone into a religion. Also, if you’re limiting yourself to finding the one person you have the best sexual chemistry with, you could end up an old spinster trying to find the perfect one. Ultimately, if a couple really commit to love and treasure each other, they would want to make things work together, even if it means compromising on their own sexual preferences to make sure their partner is happy. So, how important is sex to you and is it a deal breaker? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below! Also read: Is Marrying Young Only For The Rash and Reckless?

The LGBT movement in Singapore has come a long way. But no matter how far we’ve progressed, there seems to be a brick wall limiting how far more the movement can go. Pink Dot has been painting Hong Lim Park with the colours of Gay Pride every year since 2009. More people are coming out with the help of advocates and media platforms that share their stories, like Dear Straight People. Despite the increase in visibility and conversations surrounding LGBT today, however, there’s still no real change. We are stuck in a time where our society seem to be generally more progressive, but our constitution remains traditional, with many ‘LGBT things’ that are still illegal in the eyes of the law.

LGBT People Are Criminals?

While LGBT people can live normally among us without having to worry that they will be stoned to death if they were to walk down the street hand-in-hand, they still lack many of the legal rights that non-LGBT people have. Same-sex relationships are not recognised under the law and it’s evident in many areas from not being able to be legally married (Section 12 of the Women’s Charter) and having kids to issues with housing and assets distribution after death. In 2017, a couple lost their BTO because their marriage was voided. and all because the man went for a sex change, rendering their same-sex marriage invalid.  I personally know a gay man who had to go through the trouble of flying overseas, paying six-digit sums for assisted reproduction, marrying the surrogate mother then divorcing her, just so that he could be legally recognised as the father to his biological children. Such are the lengths that LGBT people have to go to for something that is so normal for non-LGBT people. Then, there’s the much-contested Section 377A of Singapore's Penal Code, which prohibits two men from having sex with each other, even if it’s done in private. Although this law hasn’t been actively enforced, with only nine people convicted under this provision between 2007 and 2013.

In case you’re aren’t aware yet, the Penal Code used to criminalise “carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals" under Section 377. It was tabled for repeal during the the 2007 Penal Code Review, but not Section 377A. Nominated Member of Parliament Siew Kum Hong presented a petition for the repeal of Section 377A but the Parliament opted to keep Section 377A, which criminalises male homosexual conduct specifically. <a href=" explained, “public morality does not target female homosexual conduct in the same way as it targets male homosexual conduct.” Also, “female homosexual conduct is either less prevalent or is seen as being less repugnant than male homosexual.” In other words, the authorities have opted to keep it illegal for men to have sex with each other (but not women) because they felt that Singaporeans weren’t ready to completely accept homosexual behaviour, particularly homosexuality between men, and that the society is more unaccepting of gays compared to lesbians. To be awfully honest, I agree with that notion.

Are We Really Ready?

Singapore doesn’t seem to be ready to accept the LGBT movement and community. Look at the controversy surrounding Cathay Cineleisure’s advertisement of Pink Dot 2017. Someone had complained about the advertisement and its “supporting the freedom to love” tagline because to them, that goes against family values. That complaint had led the authorities to call for Cathay to remove the tagline but Cathay stood firm with their decision to run the ad in the end, and I applaud them for standing up against such complaints and the authorities. It isn’t easy for big names or brands like Cathay to stand for a cause so controversial in Singapore’s society. In a society where discrimination lies even within certain laws, and where LGBT messages are still frowned upon by older generations and discussed in hushed exchanges among the more conservative. Another good example of why it’s hard for renowned brands or names to stand up for the cause is when popular local influencer, Hirzi, became an ambassador for Pink Dot 2017. Hirzi came under fire for standing for the LGBT movement for a myriad of reasons, mainly for going against his religion, Islam. In numerous interviews, he shared about how he had lost friends, been spat on his face, and been told not to associate himself with brands he was working for, after he became a Pink Dot ambassador.

“Brands have literally said, “We know it’s fashion week, and we already approved you guys already, wearing the outfits, but can you don’t tag us because we are a heterosexual brand.” Quote taken from Studio AC’s interview with Hirzi

In the Studio AC video interview, Hirzi also shared a case where a friend of his was discriminated against because of her sexuality. Someone had wanted to hire her dance crew to perform at an event but had requested for her to not be part of the performance, just because she’s a transsexual. It is pretty clear that the brand or event organiser was concerned about having a trans as part of the event or performance; That they felt that having a trans on their stage was too much of a negative association to have with their brand or event. And that shows exactly how closed-minded our society still is. The organiser may have done that to prevent possible complaints from event attendees. But that is the problem.

Don’t leave it to political leaders to lift the weight

The authorities are waiting to see if Singapore and Singaporeans are ready for such ‘radical’ change. But brands and Singaporeans aren’t stepping up to stand for the LGBT movement because the law doesn’t favour the movement. It’s a vicious cycle. We need to break that cycle. Every coming out story in the media and every brand representation in support of the LGBT movement add up. Brands and opinion leaders need to pave the way for more open conversations. It can be hard to start, but all it takes is one party to create the ripple effect. It could be as simple as showcasing portraits of LGBT people, which is exactly what internationally renowned photographer Leslie Kee did. The Out In Singapore project, which culminated in an exhibition that opened yesterday, features 150 portraits of the “diverse faces of the local lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community and humanise what it means to be LGBTQ.”

By shedding a gentle spotlight on these LGBT individuals, the project was a way to create conversations and normalise LGBTQ. For some of the individuals, it was even a chance for them to come out. As a non-LGBT millennial who grew up in a 100% heterosexual family (including extended family), we never outrightly talked about anything LGBT. However, it is an unspoken understanding that being LGBT ‘is not the way to go’ to my parents and their generation. I see it from the way they joke about gays and hear it from their derogatory tone when discussing LGBT topics. There’s still a stigma surrounding this movement in the older generations and it is a longstanding battle. But it’s a battle that our generation, who are more receptive of the LGBT movement, have to help fight. If we continue to be accepting but apathetic, there will never be progress. As such, more has to be done to also help our society to be more open-minded and receptive. Covering your child’s eyes or telling them not to become like ‘those LGBT people’ when they grow up isn’t going to help. We need to be more open-minded as to being able to separate religion and sexuality. Some religions have strict beliefs in sexuality, and that’s completely fine. But just as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, we should learn to agree to disagree. We need to be more willing to listen. Take notes from these Christians who went to a pride parade to apologise for the way they or fellow Christians have been treating the LGBT community. Also, as Hirzi shared in the interview with Studio AC, standing for a cause is a completely different narrative from the person you are. If I were to pledge my support to the handicapped, it doesn’t mean that I am handicapped. Nor does it mean that I am promoting the handicapped. It merely means that I empathise with the handicapped people and am showing that I accept and embrace them as part of our society. Also read, My Sexuality, My Right: “A Stranger Wanted Me To Apologise For My ‘Lesbian Appearance'”. (Header Image Credit: Calvin IG@calvinavigator via Pink Dot 2017) *Article Revised: We have corrected some of the facts that the writer has inaccurately presented on certain sections of the Penal Code. We are sorry for the mistake.

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it can feel like there’s nowhere to go in Singapore for dates anymore. You’ve done movies, dinner, picnics, touristy places like USS and the Zoo, and you’ve walked the Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut stretch so many times you can tell when a new shop pops up. Going out for dates even feels like a chore sometimes. We spoke to 8 Singaporean millennial couples to see how they deal with (the burden of) planning dates. Hopefully, their dating habits inspire you in keeping it fresh for your relationship!

1. Jacky & Li Ru, Together for 2 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go on food hunts and movie dates. We signed up for GuavaPass so we’ll go on weekly exercise dates too. We also had a fun gaming outing where we played PS4 recently. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just meet, eat, and walk around where we eat at. Sometimes, you don’t have to have a "destination" in mind, it's the company. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? The company. - Jacky

2. Zafirah & Farhan, Together for 6 months

How often do you guys go on dates? We meet each other about 2 to 3 times a week, depending on our schedules. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually just eat. We like to explore new makan places that we saw on Facebook or if there's any good food deals. Besides eating, we like to walk around or find a spot to sit and talk. Or watch movies, go bowling, and most recently, sing karaoke! What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just park the car somewhere and talk while listening to music. I actually enjoy spending time like this. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Honestly it's not about where you go or what you do, but the person you're with. if you're with good company, you're guaranteed a good time. It’s also important for us to be 100% present on dates instead of fiddling with our phones. - Zafirah

3. Justinn & Danessa, Together for 8 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Almost everyday. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go thrift shopping and movies or eat. Otherwise we just stay home and chill. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? Stay at home or spend time with each other’s family, or find our friends to hangout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Just being with each other. - Justinn

4. Alanna & Kar Liang, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? If you mean how often we meet up or go out, one or two times a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we meet on weekends we will plan our day around a place we want to eat at, or something we want to see or need to buy. If there are any good movies, we'll watch it. When we don't feel like doing much, we just go out for a relaxing cup of coffee. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll list out as many ideas as we can and then narrow them down until we decide on something. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Taking turns to do things that your partner wants to do, and being comfortable to just do nothing together sometimes! - Alanna

5. Daniel & Natasha, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Not as often as when we first started dating, but we do make an effort to go out once in awhile. Maybe once or twice a month. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? I like to plan surprise dates for her occasionally, just because I know she loves that. It’ll usually be a nice restaurant because we eat cheap normally, so it’s like a treat. On a more regular basis, we’ll either catch a movie or check out an exhibition at the gallery or museum. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? I’m quite a “cheapo” so sometimes when we have no idea what to do, I’ll check discount apps or find 1-for-1 deals to help pick out a restaurant. There are other apps or websites too that help recommend date ideas. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think the most important is that we both enjoy doing things that both of us can appreciate together. Of course, we enjoy each other’s company as well! - Daniel

6. Melissa & Andy, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? We date occasionally since both of us are really busy, but weekend hangouts are a must. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? Dates are always food-fuelled. Besides that, it’s movies and window shopping. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We do stay-home dates since it's all about spending time together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Definitely the company. It can be a trip to some kopitiam but the experience will still be great for the both of us. - Melissa

7. Marie & Leslie, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? At least once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually watch movies or bring my nephew out to places like the goat farm, frog farm or neighbourhood playgrounds. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually meet our friends to play board games, PS4, or workout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? FOOD!! - Marie

8. Anmol & Wayne, Together for 4 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? It'll just be dinner on a weekday. On a weekend, we’ll usually catch a movie or window shop in town. We'll go for events or carnivals if there are but we won't spend, we just like to see stuff. We’ll also catch the free performances at Esplanade outdoor theatre sometimes. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually wait until the last minute and someone will end up suggesting something after Googling. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Spending quality time and catching up on things that happened in the week. It's a bonus if we get to do something or go somewhere new. - Anmol

9. Victoria & Beng Kiong, Together for 6.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? About once or twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we first started dating, we would go on 'running' dates at MacRitchie because we knew each other from Track & Field. These days, just having dinner at a nice restaurant is good enough for us. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We keep suggesting things until we can agree on something. Otherwise, we usually head to the nearest park for a walk like what your grandfather and grandmother would do on Sunday mornings. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think we're lucky to share many common interests despite our contrasting personalities. It does get boring after doing the same thing for so many years so trying new things is important. For example, I was introduced to bouldering by a friend and I thought it was fun, so I roped him in to try it with me. - Victoria

It’s Not The Place, It’s The Person

Instead of lamenting how there’s nothing to do in our tiny island, make it fun for yourself and your partner in your own ways! As these 3 other couples shared in our earlier video, there’s always new things and events that are happening around Singapore. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/902216563273095/ And on days where you really have no idea what to do, just Google. There are a ton of suggestions online, like this listicle on 100 Best Things to do in Singapore. Step out of your comfort zone and try new stuff! Who knows, you might stumble upon a new favourite hangout or even a new hobby that both of you can enjoy together. Also read, 12 Things Singapore Couples Do That Singles Buay Tahan.

The only wild cats one should be patting are the strays roaming our HDB blocks in Singapore. Definitely not the big cats at wildlife parks. But one tourist decided it was a good idea to reach out of his safari vehicle to pat a lion, proving once again the stupidity of mankind.

The tourist was lucky enough to have left unharmed because the lion was – I presume from David Attenborough’s narration on the many wildlife documentaries I’ve watch – not in the mood to hunt. The lion "would have the power to pull that tourist straight out of that window and kill him instantly in front of his friends, " South African safari ranger Naas Smit said to British Newspaper The Sun. One would think that the many safari park incidents and deaths that have happened would deter anyone else from making the same mistake of leaving the safety of their vehicle, even if it's just sticking their hand out the window. Apparently, human evolution hasn’t progressed for the better. I’m not even going to get started on all those people who fell to their deaths from taking selfies or other freak accidents (like accidentally locking your children in a car for hours). At this point, I’ve gone from feeling sorry for the victims and the family to feeling exasperated at such illogical behaviour by my own species and being convinced that this is just natural selection in action. What’s worse is when people glamourise playing with danger, like parkour artists that scale tall buildings and pose precariously for the ‘gram. Or <a href=" man who teased an alligator with a fish while in a blow-up T-Rex costume.

He may be a park ranger and the alligator a well-trained reptile but that’s far from the point. It also doesn’t matter that the park ranger was “making (the alligator) 'work for his food' because he had gotten 'chunky'”. The stunt may have been well-intentioned but brushing it away as something that’s not a big deal sets a dangerous precedence of such behaviour as acceptable and entertaining. And the park ranger succeeding in the stunt without getting attacked may convince other untrained daredevils to attempt such risky acts themselves. What more, these creatures still have innate animal instincts. Even with experienced trainers and presumably well-trained animals familiar with human interaction, accidents could happen. How many victims must die before people learn to not 'play play' when dealing with animals? SeaWorld’s orca Tilikum and his trainer was one prominent case in 2017. Another horrific incident involved a Thai zookeeper who placed his head inside a crocodile’s mouth during a live crocodile show, only to have the crocodile snap its jaws shut on his head.

Are all these really worth it in the name of entertainment? Then, there are those who implicate others because of their own recklessness. Take a fairly recent incident at a Safari Park in Netherlands for example. A family of what looks like three adults and two children left their car to get a closer look at the cheetahs. Another visitor in a nearby car captured the footage of them running away from the coalition of cheetahs when the cheetahs started stalking them. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

My heart raced when I saw the cheetahs bounding towards the child – ‘that’s it, bye bye,’ I thought. What followed was anger. I was mad at the parents for letting curiosity get the better of them and for even considering putting their children’s lives on the line. One pounce and their baby could be gone, just like that. Then again, they probably hadn’t fathomed that grim possibility, considering that they had let their children walk around amidst the cheetahs like they were at a city park.

Let's not forget <a href=" incident, who was killed to ensure the safety of a boy, all because one mother got distracted. <a href=" family at an animal park in Beijing wasn’t as fortunate. In 2016, a woman was attacked by a tiger when she left the car after an argument with her husband. She survived with serious injuries, but her mum died trying to save her. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

As much as I sympathise with the victims and their family, such acts are stupid and incredibly selfish. At the core of it, many of the victims were risking everything just to experience the thrill of getting up close with such predatory animals. Not only do the victim or their family suffer, these acts affect the animals, the respective zoo or park and its staff. If there is one thing I learnt from Jurassic Park, it’s that you don’t want to mess with creatures that are faster, stronger, or which are naturally deadlier than you are, especially when you’re in a confined area with them. Some rules are designed to keep you safe, not to be broken. I have nothing against these safari parks of course. I love animals and am all for the conservation and education efforts. But if humans are not capable of following simple instructions or having basic survival instincts, maybe we shouldn’t have such potentially-fatal leisure activities. With common sense apparently not common enough in our kind, perhaps what we need are terrifying videos of all those past incidents to be played to visitors as part of the safety briefing. And if that still doesn’t work, maybe people need to be forcefully locked in their car, in some sort of advanced safari vehicle that has locks that can only be remotely controlled by park rangers. With technology and driverless cars today, why not, right? Or maybe, we should just let natural selection take its course. Also read, Just Because You’re A Millennial Doesn’t Mean You’re Immune To Fake News. (Header Image Credit: Out Of Africa Wildlife Park)

Men across the world have always been branded as the more superficial of the sexes. While there isn’t one study to prove this once and for all, it’s evident in our daily conversations and media representation. When men are around better looking women, they tend to be more gentlemanly and attentive, sometimes even flirtatious. I was also told that for a guy to be attracted to a girl, she has to be a strong 8; whereas most girls are willing to settle for a 5 in terms of looks. Of course this is just a blanket statement with no numbers to support it, but we can’t deny that pretty doesn’t come with privilege. A more provocative or sensual lady definitely has an advantage over the Plain Janes. This concept isn’t lost on the economy. Many businesses will only hire pleasant looking people for their front-line roles. Somehow, I have always thought that men are easily attracted to sexy women too. Perhaps it’s because of all the jokes people make of men only thinking with their dicks. Perhaps it’s a prejudiced mindset that as a women myself, I’d like to think that we are less shallow than the other gender. But then again, women play the rating game too. Take for example the simple game of Shoot, Shag, Marry. We also subconsciously treat men differently based on how attractive they are. Imagine receiving a bouquet from a chubby old man compared to a chiseled young man; one comes across as creepy and the other, charming. It’s also common to hear Singaporean females lament about how unfair it is that there are more good looking women than men in the country, and how lucky it is that guys have a better selection of the opposite sex. So ultimately the question is, do women put more importance on looks than guys do? Many of women’s favourite hobbies or activities we like are based on superficiality as well. Shopping for clothes and accessories, going for manicures and pedicures, and the love of camera filters for making us look so flawlessly cute. Not that it’s a bad thing but at the base of it all, aren’t those all for satisfying our superficial needs or wants? Some will even say things like "no make up guys also wont like." As for men, there aren't a lot to compare against. In a sense, men can beautify themselves in fashion and style and in recent years, more local men have started splurging on hair care too. But as vain as men can be, you have to admit than women do have a lot more options.

Chicks Vs Dudes

I saw this infographic recently that also tells of women being more shallow than men. The infographic showed the behaviour of Tinder users based on a comprehensive study. Of all the statistics, one stood out for me: Women were most likely to swipe right on men in bathing suits compared to any other attire. Contrarily, men were least likely to swipe on women in bathing suits.

Similarly, women were more likely to send a message to men whose photos were of them in a bathing suit. What this means is that in three categories of formal clothes, casual clothes, and bathing suits, women are most attracted to men in bathing suits whereas men were least attracted to women in bathing suits. Does that mean that women are more superficial? I decided to do a simple experiment with my colleagues, who are all Singaporeans and PRs in their twenties. I picked out 15 photos of men and women and asked 8 male and 8 females to tell me who they would swipe on for a prospective romantic partner and why. What they didn’t know is that out of the 15 photos, some of the photos are of the same people, but dressed differently. Are our Singaporean women really that superficial? And do we really have a misconception of our men being lustful? Here are my findings: *Photos are taken for the purpose of this experiment only. We have censored the photos out of respect to the subjects and our readers.  

The biggest similarity between both groups is their emphasis on facial appearance. When it comes to physical looks and making the best first impression, a person’s face is what attracts about 80% of them (13 out of 16) first. The other 3 were all girls and they gave a men’s dressing, overall presentation and vibe, and for one of them, the men’s arms as the first physical trait they look at. There is a slight difference between the two groups when it comes to a person’s body or figure. Most of the guys didn't seem to prioritise the women’s figure or ‘sexual assets’ and didn’t see it as a deal breaker, they can still accept a plus size women as long as she looks healthy and radiates confidence. However, the girls were pickier on a men’s body. While 2 of them admitted that they would prefer a beach body (though it’s not a necessity), the other 6 would steer away from such men. Some of them felt that showing off his body in photos gives an impression that he’s overcompensating or even narcissistic – a trait that most Singaporean women doesn’t like. Some were quite specific such that they preferred men whose body is just the right size - he can’t be too bulky and he can’t be too scrawny either.

We Are Superficial Beings

Let’s face it: we are superficial. The experiment showed that men are the ones who are more accepting of a women’s size, and women are the ones who are more likely to see a men's body as a deal breaker. Then again, one could argue that there is also a societal expectation for women to live up to this superficiality - the ‘there’s no ugly women, only lazy ones’ notion. Society expects women to do what they ‘need’ to do to look beautiful. And over time, women take in this expectation as their own and expect the same in the opposite gender. Regardless, it's obvious that we are superficial and do form impressions on people just on their looks alone because out of the 16 colleagues I polled, only about 5 of them found it hard to make a decision to swipe yes or not based on just one photo. Although that was the nature of the experiment, only those 5 mulled over it and double-checked if they could have more information. Admittedly, my experiment is but a tiny representation of the local millennials, but it's an insight into what our fellow Singaporeans look for in a romantic partner. And at least it gave me a sense of comfort that not all of us are that lustful or shallow. Also read, The Ugly Truth: Not Everyone Is Beautiful.

Her pride shows when she humble brags about us to her friends and her love shows through the incessant nagging at us to sleep earlier and eat on time. Yet these are things that we finding embarrassing and annoying. Then, there’s that one uniquely-Singaporean trait in our mums that we can’t decide whether we hate or love. Being auntie. This Mother's Day, we share our love for our mums by appreciating the super auntie things they do as a Singaporean mum.

1. Gossiping

Even with social media, we can hardly keep up with all our friends getting hitched and having babies. It’s amazing how our mum knows about the neighbour’s sister’s friend’s daughter's migrating overseas. Not forgetting the iconic way they speak when they share such juicy news, “I tell you ah, my ah girl ah…”

2. Taking Or Asking For Free Stuff

Dabaoing the unused utensils and butter spread from airplane meals, keeping the serviettes and wet tissues at restaurants, and eating the free samples at food fares, our mothers do them all, and proudly. As auntie as those behaviours are, some of us do them too. There are also the very thick-skinnd mums who would tell the waiter that it’s her birthday and go, “got anything free or not ah?” At least we get to enjoy free stuff, I guess.

3. Choping Seats

It can be hard to find seats during rush hour on the MRT and at hawker centres, but our mums seem to have eagle eyes. They also have the power of making us want to disown them when they rush to the vacant seats, pat the seat, and shout our name out amidst the crowd of onlookers.

4. Complaining

If you got cheated by the hawker and only got bones in your chicken rice, trust your mum to make a trip to the stall and give them a teaching. You may even get free chicken rice on your next trip. Whether it’s the little things like that or bigger things like being bullied in school or work, your very auntie mother will complain until you get your grievances addressed.

5. Picking Out The Best Of Things

She would remove all the styrofoam netting from the fruit before putting it in the plastic bag because not only can you see if the fruit is good, it weighs lighter and thus, is cheaper. She’d dig into the supermarket shelves to get products that are deeper in because of the expiry date, especially when she’s stocking up during the promotion period. Very auntie and very embarrassing, but very fruitful.

6. Share Fake Or Passé News

Food to eat to defeat cancer, random philosophical quotes from famous people whose names we don’t even recognise, or fake health scares, our mums tend to fall for such stories circulating online and on WhatsApp. What’s more embarrassing is when they share them in the family group chat. Or when they excitedly show us a video they just saw and we realise that it was something that trended more than 5 years ago. Mum, this one long ago see already.

7. Doraemon Bags

Our mums tend to have everything in their bags and can magically whip out anything we need when we need it. Dry tissue, check. Wet tissue, check. Umbrella, check. Some mums even bring medicine everywhere they go, so if we suddenly have a stomach-ache after eating that tom yum hot pot, fret not, momma’s got charcoal pills.

8. Loyalty And Membership Cards For Everything

Besides all the things mentioned above, the auntie-mother starter pack cannot do without an NTUC card or any other equivalent loyalty cards for supermarkets, grocery stores, or pharmacies like Watsons and Guardian. Sometimes, they surprise you with cards to the most random of shops, like a neighbourhood salon card or stamp cards dessert stores.

Love Your Very Auntie Mum

We cringe at our mum’s auntie moments but as we grow older, we start to realise how much such 'annoying' habits of theirs are things we remember them endearingly by. All those little things they do are exactly what make them that irreplaceable woman in our life. What other auntie things do your mum do? Share them with us in the comments! (Header Image Credit: Wheniwasfour) Also read, These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother’s Love Is Like No Other.

For as long as I remember, we have always been called sheep. From being called sheep for travelling to ‘mainstream’ places to the many times we were called sheep for ‘blindly following our political leaders’. Singaporeans have been branded sheep on so many occasions that most of us are already numb to the name. And as much as we try to deny it, we really are all sheep. It isn’t because of our education system or the Chinese zodiac as much as it is human nature. The herd behavior is just our intrinsic need to feel harmonious with our fellow human species. It’s the same reason why animals form herds to protect themselves from danger or predators – strength in numbers. It happens in our everyday lives. When we see long queues at shops, we kay poh. When we see the latest trends, we follow. It’s so normal that we hardly think about it anymore. And herd instinct is somewhat beneficial as it acts as a guide to how we lead our lives. We compare, and we use the actions and behaviours of others as a reference. We adopt our favourite idols’ lifestyles. Likewise, we steer away from people we deem less than desirable and remind ourselves not to be like them. Also, there’s the mentality behind rating systems: if 90% voted a movie or restaurant to be 10 out of 10, it must be good. However, blindly following the herd is not always healthy. Sometimes, it can be the exact opposite.

Toxic Herd Behaviour Is All Around Us

All it takes is for a dominant alpha and a prey, and you’ll soon see it grow into a mob bullying situation. In fact, dig deeper behind the reasons for many bullying cases and you’ll see that herd behaviour is a big driving force. Take for example the $10 BMW driver, who was harassed by netizens after being wrongly accused of making an attendant pay for his petrol. And Cherry Tan, who was wrongly identified for bullying an elderly man at a hawker centre.

The $10 BMW driver’s demise started because the original poster told only her side of the story and it tugged enough at our heartstrings for us to immediately hate on the driver. It didn’t matter that the story came from a third party. And all it took for Cherry Tan was one comment wrongly identifying her.

Hardly anyone bothered to do more research or wonder about what really happened, because it is just so much easier to join in the crowd, agree, and hate together. It was only after the whole world condemned them to the depths of hell that they were cleared of the allegations. So many people had already jumped on the hate-wagon by then, and the damages of name calling, harassment, and even calls to boycott their companies were already dealt. More recently, a video of a bus driver seemingly nodding off while driving has been circulating online. While there were people who were genuinely worried about the driver’s well-being, there were also many others who called him out for endangering the lives of people.

SBS Transit has since explained that the driver’s questionable driving was merely because of a neck condition. Even then, I was still seeing people sharing the video and commenting about how reckless or terrible it is for the driver to be sleeping on the job. Even if the driver was really falling asleep, wouldn’t it be wiser to talk to him, keep him awake, and ask if he was facing any problems? I question the poster’s intention of filming the driver and exposing it online instead. Also, if the intention was to call for a more stringent selection of safer bus drivers, is it not more productive to talk to SBS Transit and find out the problem? By posting the video online and insinuating that the driver is falling asleep on the job, one is merely creating opportunities to sow hate. These are all unfortunate cases of internet CSI or internet policing gone wrong, but the underlying issue is an entire toxic, mob bullying culture that’s rampant not just online, but in our everyday lives.

Mob Bullying

It happens in school. The shunning of the ‘fatty bom bom’ when forming teams in PE lessons. The name calling. The spreading of rumours of that ah lian having slept with countless boys. These are things we have all heard or experienced growing up. It happens in the working world. The abusive boss or politics-mongering colleague are perfect examples of bullying. It could even be as simple as gossiping or ostacising. In case it sounds like I am some self-righteous person trying to preach a politically correct stance towards a perfect, everyone loves everyone world, let me declare that I don’t believe in that. Especially when gossiping (or ranting) is one of the ways I destress from a crazy work day. What I find extremely repulsive and disheartening is when idle gossip turns into mob bullying because of the herd mentality. Like the cases online, all it takes is one bully to rally a group of bullies. And such cases are often overlooked because of how common it is. Singapore has even won the title of the third highest rate of bullying globally.

  In my line of work, I have met so many millennials who have experienced a form of bullying growing up. The mocking, the being made fun of, the name calling, and the ostracising may sound trivial, but the impact is significant for the victims and is often the fuel for depression. I’ve also witnessed situations of mob bullying having unfair, negative impact on the victim: where the victim was baited to saying things that would be used for ridicule and where the rallying of hate within the group of bullies eventually contributed to the victim’s departure. And all those because the victim is just a little different from the rest. It didn’t matter that the victim hasn’t done anything to insult of harm anyone or on purpose. It is one thing to idle gossip and another to treat someone like they are not worthy of a presence, even turning it into spiteful curses. While this are just my observations, I am pretty sure that similar cases have been happening in work places or social circles everywhere. After all, nothing like bonding over mutual hate, and herd behaviour to propagate the hate.

Stop Being A Mean Sheep

As someone who is guilty of having been part of a mob bullying before, I know how easy it is to be part of the herd and I know how hard it is not to join in on the laughing. However, such damaging herd behaviour has got to stop. Unless we stop being sheeps, do our research, and form our independent opinions, the mob bullying will continue. Also, my dance teacher once taught me: to tell the quality of a dance troupe, look at the dancer at the last row of the performance. Similarly, I see the way someone treats the ‘most insignificant person to them’ as a reflection of who they really are. So, before you join in on the teasing next time, think about why you are doing it and what it reflects of you. What do you want to be a reflection of? (Header Image Credit: Medium) Also read, Sexual Harassment Not That Unusual - S'porean Girls Reveal Their Nasty Encounters With Perverts.

There was a time where I used to lament how I can never seem to gain weight, much to the envy (and annoyance) of my older friends and colleagues. 10 years later and the roles are reversed. At 27, I am now the one sighing at my 20-year-old friends or interns when they complain about feeling fat. Hello. Wait till you reach my age then you know. It’s funny how PE lessons were once something we look forward to as an enjoyable ‘break’ from classes back in school. Once you start working, the only physical activity you will willingly engage in is running to catch the bus. Once adulting gets real and work becomes life, it becomes harder and harder to stay in shape. Especially when you spend the 8 hours at work glued to a chair. The hustling will leave you so mentally drained that all you want to do after 6pm is laze at home and do nothing. There are so many other distractions more exciting than working out and finding the motivation to even hit the 10,000 steps a day challenge is a challenge as itself. As we grow older, it is only natural that our age and environment change us, be it for better or worse, through our shirt sizes or our mindsets. Curious to see what age, time, and work have done to other millennials, I reached out to 8 millennials. These is what 10 years have done to them and the wisdom they’ve gained in the decade.

1. Being Less Emotional And Laughing More

I grew up fat and got a lot of nicknames. It started with “Eugene Sohfat” in primary school, then “Hugene” in secondary school and “Tub of Lard” in polytechnic, and I used to feel insecure when I go to the beach cause my white tummy felt like a pile of forgotten yoghurt. Now I just laugh at it. I’m a lot more confident and generally less emotional about things now. I think the older you get the more well-shaped your perceptions and opinions are. I find myself being more truthful to strangers and people in general, and not having to worry so much about judgement too.  – Eugene, 27

2. Finding A Purpose In Life

I’m 30kg heavier with stretch marks as far as Jurong to Pasir Ris but instead of running away from it, I choose to embrace it. After I graduated, I starting to find things I could do. I switched many jobs and went from DJing to emceeing to influencer marketing and now, media and advertising. Besides my weight, I’d say the main difference is having found a purpose in life, and that’s more than enough.  – Dew, 26

3. Confidence Opened Many Doors

I used to avoid a lot of physical activities because I felt like everyone was scrutinising my thighs and arms if I wear sportswear or swimwear. I don't think anyone really notices about these things but I can’t help thinking that they're judging me for being fat. When I was around 18, I would work out almost every day and eventually lost 10kg. It was a painful process, but I'm glad that it happened. Although I’m not as fat as I was previously, I still feel it (body insecurity) and am very afraid of putting on any weight, but I am definitely more confident than before. I can definitely see myself ageing (skin not as bright or taut and crown of hair not as thick) at my current age too. But that's just part of life. More importantly, I found ways to deal with my skin problems and became bolder in experimenting with style, eventually finding the type of 'look' that suit me best. All these adds up and really changed the way I carried myself. People always say that it's the inside that should count but you can't deny that a good hair day or a nice outfit makes you feel better about yourself. And when you do, you're braver to try new stuff or engage yourself with people you've always felt intimidated by. And this has opened doors for me in many ways.  – Mel, 28

4. Denying Insecurity From Power

I was teased in secondary school for having a ‘baby moustache’ and was very concerned about my physical appearance. My forehead acne and blackheads bothered me too and it made me feel very insecure about my own body. I didn't really know how to deal with all that back then it got worse when puberty started and hair started growing at my arm pits. I even cried every other day. To make myself feel better, I did things that would make myself look more womanly, like drawing my brows or wearing heels. Even though I am still not completely satisfied with my looks despite knowing how to manage my skin, I've learnt to be contented with what I have. My confidence could be a mash up of maturity and laziness, or it could also be that I simply care more about what I think about myself than what other people think about me. I do worry and do try to prove myself to people still but I don't give these insecurities as much attention or as much power over me as it used to. When I was younger, everything felt like the end of the world because of how unexposed I was. In hindsight, a lot of my worries weren't that big of a deal. That's how I take life nowadays: I try my best but if I suck or if I fail, it isn't that big of a deal.  – Isabel, 21

5. Handling Situations With More Maturity

I was picked on by seniors in secondary school because of my small frame. They would cut my queue during recess or do other mean things. Besides that, being physically unfit meant passing NAFA was a chore. I started bulking up. And I started keeping facial hair as it makes me look fierce. It’s a good deterrence when I want to do my own things without people disturbing me, like when I'm trying to avoid an insurance agent waiting at the foot of an escalator. But partially also because I got too busy and lazy to shave during submission period in university. If I can go back in time, I’d punch the younger me for being a little wuss. I’ve learnt to be tougher, more disciplined, and more focused on what I want to achieve in life. Religion and supportive friends helped, but it was all the experiences I’ve gone through that made me more able to handle situations more maturely now.  – Janielson, 26

6. Your Thoughts Are Your Choice

My high metabolism makes it really hard for me to gain weight since young and I’d always look skinny and fragile. People would point out how skinny I am whenever I wore shorts and that made me feel even more self-conscious, which affected the way I behaved. I was very shy and would hide my true self in social situations because I didn’t want people to think bad about me. I eventually met people whom made me feel comfortable being my authentic, quirky and playful self. It’s your choice whether you want to accept people’s comments and learn from them or carry those negative thoughts with you. I choose to look at the positive side of things.  – Raymond, 21

7. No Need For Constant Affirmation

People often teased me and called me “blackie” because I played hockey a lot and got really tanned. It didn’t help that my fair-skinned cousins made me feel like I'm the odd one out. I never liked to smile with my teeth because I didn’t have very straight teeth. My eyebags were a problem too because people often asked me why I haven't been sleeping when I've had more than enough sleep. And in a time when a lot of us were going through puberty, trying to accept ourselves, and where it was all about fitting in with friends, I felt the constant need to change myself to please others. I was affected by the things people say about me because I didn't want to be an outcast. I’m a lot less tanned now, thankfully, and I grew taller, but I grew bigger sideways too. But now, I have other priorities and don't see the constant need to please others. The insecurities will probably always be there but I’ve learnt to accept and deal with it and not let it affect me as much. Instead of criticising myself and changing myself just so I could fit in to the norms of this materialistic world, I realised that true friends will stay and accept me for who I am and that eventually taught me to love and value myself more.  – Candice, 23

8. Turning Weaknesses Into Opportunities

I had the whole inferiority complex where every little bit of me didn't seem good enough in my own eyes and I didn’t know how to navigate that. For example, I would feel inferior wearing glasses and felt the need to wear contacts so that I look better. And because I was always afraid of wearing contacts, I just didn't bother turning up for social gatherings at all. I am definitely more confident now and care less about what others think of me. It's a much easier life to live. I'd still wear contacts when I want to impress girls or on dates but it's more about boosting my self-confidence than finding a way to feel 'sufficient'. I have other insecurities like having white hair, but I see it as an opportunity to just play with my hair: toss in different colours to make the most out of a perceived weakness. So, it’s a matter of loving yourself and embracing every little bit of your ‘flaws’.  – Andrew, 26

Make The Best Of Change

Growing old is inevitable and the stresses of a job and age will catch up on you but what matters is what you make of it. Today, I avoid body-fitting clothes altogether for fear of looking like Michelin Man. Those clothes are packed into an obscure corner of my wardrobe – testament of the 15KG I’ve gained and the denial in which I will never fit into those tiny pieces of cloth anymore. But like most millennials I spoke to, my personal and emotional growth outweighs the 15KG I’ve gained and are changes I’m proud of. The collective lessons from the experiences through the years gave me invaluable takeaways and formed the mature, confident, and happy-go-lucky personality that is me today. Do you have insecurities growing up? Don’t be being bogged down by them. Embrace them and find your confidence instead! Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

Opinions expressed in this article are merely opinions of the writer and are not meant to be representative of Singaporeans. 

Dear Government, I love Singapore but I don't see how I can survive here when I'm in my sixties. From a tiny red dot to a thriving nation, Singapore has come a long way. I’m proud to be Singaporean and thankful for the many benefits we enjoy from safety and security to having (largely) equal opportunities and a powerful passport. The nation has built up a playground for a comfortable life, but at times I wonder if we are getting too comfortable. There’s a well-known Chinese saying, “打是疼，骂是爱,” which means to hit or scold is to love. Akin to a naggy mother’s love, Singaporeans complain a lot about our country and government only because we care enough to. We won’t bother voicing out our dissatisfactions if we were nonchalant, and nonchalance isn’t something a country want in their citizens. We hear many stories of Singaporeans migrating overseas for greener pastures, but there are as many Singaporeans who choose to stay. While the grass is always greener on the other side, we also believe in being appreciative of the good things we have here. This tiny island has been our humble abode from the day we were born and we will always see her as home. Which is why even though I am no political writer, I feel it important to speak out on behalf of fellow young Singaporean adults who are disgruntled with our government but can never quite put into words why we feel that way, or who fear treading onto this sensitive territory. Our leaders need to know that we are not complaining merely because we love to complain, but it’s the only way we know how to (and dare to) fight for a home that we can confidently say we are happy with.

We Are Worried For Singapore’s Future, Our Future

As a young Singaporean adult of a ‘lower SES’, I fear that my country is going to be too expensive to live in, to raise a family in and to retire in. Our fertility rate is at a new 7-year low and it is definitely not because there’s no space to bang or that the government isn’t trying hard enough. I am of a fertile and marriageable age but I am not contributing to Singapore’s fertility rate; and it isn’t for my lack of a partner or drive either. The conventional life goals of getting married, buying a house, and having children are milestones I eventually want to reach, but they all seem so daunting and impossible.

Singaporeans may feel emotionally ready for a baby, but we know the vulnerabilities of having a family without being financially solvent. We appreciate perks like the baby bonus and Marriage and Parenthood package but we also know that these one-time assistances aren’t sustainable for a lifetime’s investment. Then, there’s the painful truth of having to prioritise between aging parents and children because we do not have enough emotional, physical, and financial strength to support both parties on top of a housing loan. We also need to address how we don’t see our children for 9 hours a day or more because we will be slogging to save for the family’s healthcare, education, and daily necessities. The government meant well to give $700million worth of our budget surplus back to us as GST rebate. But the $700million could have been better used on reformative programs to encourage young couples to have children instead of the one-time GST rebate. After all, $100 is nothing but spare change to the rich, while $300 is only enough for bills and bare necessities for the poor. We aren’t ignorant to the fact that our decreasing birth rates will come back and haunt us. We recognise the pressing need to raise the fertility rates today. 20 years later, we could either be benefitting from a thriving work force or we could be dealing with later retirement ages and even higher taxes. I fear that the latter is more likely. We might be trapped in a vicious cycle of ever-increasing costs of living and ever-declining fertility rate, because the lesser citizens there are to share the cost of taxes, the more expensive it is for each person, which places more stress on each citizen. I want to marry and have children but I feel the pain and foresee the effects of my partner and my savings being wiped clean for a modest wedding, a 3-Room or 4-Room HDB flat, renovation, and furniture – something almost every Singaporean will go through today. Any prospect of a happy and comfortable future is marred by the six-figure sum that we have to fork out for all those. And that’s just the beginning. Housing grants and CPF do help, but with ever-increasing costs and a somewhat stagnant pay, the future looks worrisome and bleak. How am I to afford a future here?

What Retirement Life?

I look at the hunched back elderly with a head full of white hair, struggling with piles of dirty dishes at coffee shops. I notice the bony limbs, sunken cheeks, and wrinkled skin of this drink stall auntie at my neighbourhood coffee shop and how she would get tutted at for getting drink orders wrong. This elderly auntie messes up often but her sincere, apologetic voice and embarrassed expression is telling of the effort she puts into doing her job as best she could despite her frail body and poor memory. My heart aches.

I remind myself to work hard because my parents will end up like these elderly workers if I don’t provide for them. I tell myself to be prudent or I will really have to work until I die. In case it seems like I despise the old folk or their jobs, let me assure you that I respect their strength and perseverance. I’m not talking about the ones who choose to work out of the pride of self-reliance or those who work to pass time either. It is the ones living in poverty and still toiling away in their sixties or seventies that breaks my heart. Nobody should be resorting to collecting scraps or foraging through rubbish bins just to get through another day. After spending a good 30 to 50 years of their life contributing to the country, our grandmothers and grandfathers should be enjoying retirement sipping coffee, tea, or wine and doing whatever they wish. Why do we still have so many elderly living with severe financial difficulties in our country? Then, there’s always the worry of expensive healthcare. The fear of dying from an illness that one cannot afford is unspoken, but very real. So many times, I have heard of how someone’s life got flipped upside down from hefty hospital fees or from bills incurred by their aging parents. What if, fingers crossed, my parents or I have the misfortune of cancer and insurance wouldn’t cover my treatments and subsequent check-ups? Why can’t we adopt a healthcare system like France’s? Citizens are reimbursed for 70% to 100% of their medical fees and the poorest people are covered 100%. Or Finland? Patient fees are capped at a specific amount to prevent citizens from paying too much for healthcare. Nothing is free of course, and these perks are only possible because of the higher taxes citizens have to pay. So, it’s a matter of finding the right balance between being pragmatic and idealistic – do you want to have to invest more into something that will eventually support you when you need it the most, or get more financial freedom but heavier responsibilities? It is a concept that young Singaporeans understand, but we challenge it because we also know that there must be a way to find the right balance.

Rich Nation, Poor People

Singapore has close to a trillion-dollar reserves but we can't afford to have kids. We have so much money but we still have citizens who fall through the gaps of welfare aids and elderly who continue to live below the poverty line. Our nation is an extremely wealthy one. We have the money but our strict parents place ridiculously tight restrictions to the usage of this wealth, our wealth. I do not expect the government to deplete our reserves. The importance of having savings and the complications of dipping into it is not lost to me. However, as pointed out by Chris Kuan in a Facebook post, IMF’s opinion is that a 27% of our GDP or S$113 billion will be a good enough amount of reserves, and MAS' foreign exchange reserves as of Jan 2018 are already S$369b or 88% of GDP.

https://www.facebook.com/chris.kuan.94/posts/774990799357677

In other words, our reserves are more than 3 times the prudent limit. So what are we saving for? I quote NMP Kuik Shao Yin, “how much surplus is enough?” Idealism VS pragmatism, being excessively prudent VS investing in the people today: how much is enough savings before the children of our extremely wealthy family, can reap the benefits from these savings? I am well aware that there are many complexities to our laws, policies, and schemes. I understand that one action can cause a ripple effect that which will shift the economy and impact us and our livelihood. Being Singapore’s government is not easy and the decisions made thus far are backed by facts and figures. I have faith that the decisions made thus far weighed all possible options and identified the lesser evil. However, I quote NMP Ms Kuik again, "Every tilt towards the side of pragmatism is simultaneously a tilt away from the side of our ideals.” So, dear Government, "when will it ever be the right time to tilt our balance just a little more towards our ideals rather than always towards what’s pragmatic?" Can you let us continue believing that you will lead us to better days?