It’s 9am on a Friday. I’m usually on the bus on the way to office at this hour (even though work’s supposed to start at 9am). Today, however, I am on my way to my neighbourhood coffee shops to make some friends with the uncles and aunties there.
As an introvert, I’d avoid most situations that require me to speak to strangers (ironic, considering my job as a writer), but today, it is my goal to better understand the lives of the older folks who seem to always be at the coffee shop in the morning, for hours at a time.
What do they actually talk about? How much time do they spend there? And for the sceptic in me; do they really have nothing else to do besides drinking kopi here every day?
I walked around the first coffee shop trying to find a strategic spot to park myself so I could voyeur and eavesdrop on conversations. Like any nondescript neighbourhood coffee shop on a weekday morning, the place is sparsely populated with mostly middle-aged to pioneer generation folks.
One table is occupied by what I presume to be a family of a 2nd generation Singaporean with her toddler and her elderly mother. As I dawdled down the corridor suspiciously eyeing the occupants of all the tables, this group of about 6 aunties caught my eye. One of them, who is on a wheelchair, is accompanied by a maid.
They must have been there for quite awhile. Their almost empty cups of coffee (or tea) were already pushed towards the middle of the table, and some of the cups has coffee stains that had already started to dry up on the sides of the cup.
The tables around them are all taken, and it will be very strange for me to be idling by the side of their table when there are other empty tables around. I threw the initial plan of voyeuring out and decided to approach them instead.
“Hello! I’m a reporter,” I greeted them chirpily with the limited amount of communicable Mandarin I can manage. “Can I join you all?”
After explaining that I was there to understand more about their lives as the older generation, the aunties around the table laughed and welcomed me.
“Aiya! Our life is like that lor, what about it?” They teased, in Mandarin. As I pulled a chair up, one of them jokingly asked if I was going to treat them to a meal. I played along.
As I chatted with them, I learnt that they had all met each other at this very coffee shop. It was all those years of having their breakfast there daily that have seen them gather over time to form this ‘breakfast group’. All retired, this has become a daily routine: They meet for breakfast at 8+am every day and stay on to chat about their lives, talking about anything from the vegetables they are going to get, to catching up on the lives of their children and grandchildren. It is exactly what one would expect of a typical Singaporean auntie.
The group will then disperse by about 10am, with each of them making their rounds at the market to stock up on groceries before heading home.
One of them in the group is Mdm Kang, who’s in her sixties and is one of the most eager to share in the group. Later, she tells me that all three of her children had already married and shifted out, and ever since her husband passed away many years ago, she has been living alone in her HDB flat nearby. Despite the circumstances, she seems to me like a free-spirit.
“一个人在家会闷, 就到处乱跑 lor.”
(I’ll be bored alone at home, so I’ll venture around.)
Sometimes, she’d travel all the way to Boon Lay to visit her son. At other times, if she is able to, she’d help to look after her grandchildren.
For all of them in the group, life is pretty much similar to how Mdm Kang spend her days—they go about each day “just like that”, eating and chatting with friends, working on the never-ending list of household chores, and spending time with their family. Sometimes, they will visit the resident’s corner or community centres for light activities.
As one of the aunties puts it, once you have reached that age, you are pretty much “jiak liao bee”, a Hokkien phrase which indirectly means that they are just sitting around waiting to be fed. Since they are no longer working and are all financially stable (enough), boredom is inevitable. Ultimately, it is all about the mindset that they have.
One, Mdm Tan, whom I spoke at another coffee shop later on, shared: “If you have been working for all these years and you suddenly stop, you will go ‘crazy’ very quickly. You have to find something to do to keep [your mind stimulated].”
For Mdm Tan, singing is one activity that she has been actively engaged in at her neighbourhood RC. It was also through there that she met a couple of her long time friends today, one of whom joined us midway after her morning exercise at the park.
I got to speak with one Mdm Ea, who is the youngest of the group of 6 aunties, after the rest left to buy groceries.
In her forties, she sees the other aunties in the group as her elder sisters. A freelance property agent, she tells me how she joined this group by chance when they noticed that she is also a regular there.
“This group of aunties are very happy-go-lucky. They are very warm and it’s a very community-spirit feeling. Like, one of them, the husband just went fishing recently and she brought the fish here and gave out to all of us.”
The group has become so tight-knitted that whenever one of them doesn’t turn up for their daily breakfast, the others will be concerned.
“They will really worry that something happened to you. So now when I go overseas, I will inform them.”
She shared that the rest of them are averagely in their sixties and have children that have all grown up and leading their own lives. Most of these aunties spend their days simplistically, spending their time with their family as much as possible.
However, for Mdm Ea especially, her life does not revolve around her only son, because she cannot afford to do that.
She explains:
“Of course, ideally our children will look after us, but they got their own lives to lead also. We cannot possibly rely on them to look after us completely.”
Her wish as a parent is to continue being a part of her child’s everyday life when she’s in her golden years. However, the pressures of work in an ultra-competitive society today has made her realise that this may not be the most practical arrangement.
“It’s very difficult for the younger generation these days because both have to work. Then they have their own family to support also.”
As such, Mdm Ea has, together with her husband, started to set aside their own retirement funds. In any case, she would rather plan for her own retirement than let it become a burden for her son.
Hearing this reminded me again on how our parents’ sacrifice last for their lifetime. It starts from the moment they give birth to us all the way till they leave. They always want the best for us and would often place our interests before theirs.
At another coffee shop, I spoke to one Mdm Tan. Also in her sixties, Mdm Tan also stressed the importance of having to plan for her own future without having to be dependent on her two children.
Her son had already married and shifted out, and her daughter will be following suit next year.
A trait of a typical Asian mother is how they find it difficult to ‘let go’ of their children. After all those years that they have invested into their babies and bringing them up, it can be hard when their babies are now grown adults leading their own, private life that does not necessarily include their mother in it.
From the times Mdm Tan repeated herself about how she has learnt not to intervene in her children’s life, I inferred that perhaps, there were conflicts that she had faced with her children in their life decisions, like her daughter’s choices in housing and wedding preparations.
Then, she said something that showed that no matter what, her love for her children will never falter: “What I can do is to see them grow up, get married, form their own family, and if they ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”
For both Mdm Tan and Mdm Ea, their ‘job’ as parents is to bring up their children the best they can and hope that they have cultivated a good person. And as grandparents or soon-to-be grandparents, they also know that the prime of years have long passed.
While our generation are going about our lives proving ourselves at work, romancing with our partners, and mingling with our friends, these aunties and uncles spend their days, for lack of a better description, ‘just like that’.
It is places like these, the coffee shops, resident corners, community centres, places that the younger generation like us pay no attention to, that continue to be to older folks what is to us our restaurant, bars, cafes, and chill out spaces. It is where they spend a substantial number of hours each day because otherwise, what else are they supposed to do when their home is empty?
As I continued chatting with Mdm Tan, I realised how the morning has taken me from wanting to learn about the life of the older folks at the coffee shops to being a confidante for them. When I finally bade goodbye to Mdm Tan, who was the last person I spoke to at the coffee shops that day, I was relieved. It reminded me why I always avoided chatting with aunties: they have a million things to talk about and sometimes, you just don’t know what to say but nod.
But then again, one day, I’ll be like them. We all will.
Also read: 65-Year-Old Mdm Rebecca’s Life: A Look At The Reality Of Singapore’s Privilege Gap.
For the longest time, people have been paying thousands of dollars on 'healing stones' and special talismans that promise to bless the owners with better health and dispel negative energy.
"Scam", "gimmick", and "manipulative" are just some of the terms that come to mind when one thinks of anything spiritual, and that includes tarot card readings, fortune telling, and the sorts. But do they really deserve to be dubbed as such? And if they are, why do people still buy into things like these?
In search of answers, I found myself at the second floor of Fu Lu Shou Complex, where I decided to get an aura reading done at Kang Li Mineral Kingdom.
“I think people need these kind of spiritual [readings] to really let certain things go and help themselves and ourselves also.”
The 32-year-old spiritual practitioner, Yi Xin, explained when I asked her why people are still going for spiritual readings amidst my reading.
She has been working at Kang Li Mineral Kingdom for over 16 years now.
Maybe it’s the warm smile staff wore or the soothing background music, but as I stepped foot into the shop, I felt welcomed and strangely at ease.
Unlike what I had envisioned, the shop isn’t rundown and cramped with sculptures and scriptures. Canvases of scenic oil paintings decorated the walls while gemstones and agate crystals lined two rows beneath them. A counter smack in the middle of the shop is lined with polaroid-like prints of aura photography, with labels such as “goddess aura” and “rainbow aura”.
After savouring the cup of berry tea they served, one of the staff ushered me to another spot to get my aura photographed.
With a nervous smile, I made my way to a wooden bench positioned right in front of a black backdrop. A vintage looking film camera propped by a tripod sits a metre before me.
The staff told me to relax and place my hands on the two metal hand prints thats by my left and right, although my mind was racing with questions, “What in the world is going on? What does this do? How does this work?”, I kept mum and did as told.
“Okay, now look into the camera, relax and smile!”
I took a deep breath and flashed a smile. I felt like a kid whose portrait was being taken for the school yearbook, excited but also nervous, with no idea what outcome to expect. A few seconds passed before the shutter went off.
A polaroid emerges from the camera and the staff pulls it out as a nearby printer starts to run, printing what looks like an analytical report.
I was then ushered to a more secluded corner of the shop, where Yi Xin greets me with a beaming smile. Unlike what’s portrayed in most films, Yi Xin is not dressed in a long flowy robe with a bandana in her hair and a cat purring on her lap. Instead, she’s got on a dark purple pantsuit, light makeup, and a gemstone pendant hangs from her neck.
At this point in time, I just want to know what my aura portrait means. Is it good? Is it bad? What does it say about me?
Yi Xin starts off by introducing to me the whole concept behind auras.
“So basically how the aura forms is that we have these seven chakras that every one of us has. All these points will vibrate and give off energy based on what you think, how you feel and the things that you do. So when they all come together, naturally they’ll form your aura.”
On the left is what you’re attracting in. The right is what your future presents, and the centre is your core.
My aura presently? A bright scarlet red, with a presence of orange at the core. After seeing all the colourful auras that were plastered on the counter before this, I couldn’t help but feel worried, and my defences were up, ready to dispel any misinterpretation that may come my way.
A month back, I’ve gotten my aura photographed for the very first time, and it was a dark brooding red. I showed Yi Xin my previous aura portrait and asked for her views. She placed both polaroids side by side and inspected it for a brief moment before giving me nods of approval.
Yi Xin share that I’ve got what she’d refer to as the “warrior aura” and people with such auras have a strong personality and it’s hard to shape someone like us.
“I think all along you are more careful with how you feel and you are more aggressive in the way that you are. The orange at the heart however shows that something lit up in you and you are now happier. Previously you were dealing with some really hard stuff but now you are better. You have dreams you are chasing and you feel joy, although you might still feel stifled sometimes.”
For someone who has only met me for the first time, Yi Xin was surprisingly accurate in reading my personal life. I was in awe, but also bewildered that she was able to deduce that I’ve just came out of a tough period in my life and am now at a much better place.
Any of us in this situation would be.
“Any questions?”
“How were you able to tell all that with just a picture of coloured light? What exactly is aura again? And how did this whole aura thing came about? How does it work?”
Yi Xin laughed and beamed me a smile as she began addressing my doubts.
“Your aura is your energy, how you interact with people, what you put off to people. That's why when you meet certain people you might feel like they’re fierce or aloof, that kind of stuff, it's because of their aura.”
She went on to touch on the origins of aura photography, which was invented by a professor, <a href=" Guy Coggins, who wanted to create a tool to measure the human energy field in real time, and help therapists and healers better understand and aid those in need.
I told her about someone I knew from school who claimed that they could see people’s aura with their own eyes and asked her if that’s possible.
“Actually, I personally believe that it’s tough for one to be able to see auras, especially in Singapore.”
Yi Xin suggest that though it’s not impossible, it’s harder for it to be credible. Even she herself can’t see auras. After all, the auras “photographed” are actually credited to the biofeedback hand sensor and the aura machine.
The hand sensor itself has various contact points on them which are connected with certain organs of the body. This allows the machines to measure the electromagnetic field of the user and in turn deliver information about the energetic and auric qualities of that person.
The data is then projected as a radiant coloured glow on the polaroid.
“On the other hand, there are also [commercialised] aura readings
nowadays, where they just want to sell you a product. There are even apps that allow you to get your aura read with just a picture.”
Yi Xin feels that such apps only defeats the purpose as it’s not the most authentic experience, nor will it be as in depth and personalised, thus unable to provide that sense of clarity that most people come to seek for.
As the daughter of the owners of Kang Li Mineral Kingdom, Yi Xin has been surrounded by spirituality since young. Besides aura photography, their shop also does tarot card reading, crystal healing spa, geomancy and feng shui, to name a few.
Thus, it doesn’t come as a surprise that at just age 17, Yi Xin has already started to dabble in aura reading, tarot card, feng shui and crystal healing, among others.
“Back then, there wasn’t anyone who could teach you such skills, and even if there are, they don't know how to begin teaching as well, so I started learning and reading the basics by myself.”
“At first, I thought it was just explaining to people the meaning of the items so I was very [technical] with my readings. But as I grew older and talked to more people, I realised that I needed to meet and observe people of all walks of life to truly be able to identify the different kinds of auras and understand people better. Only then will I be able to know how to help different kinds of people better.”
In her quest to become a better spiritual practitioner, Yi Xin also keeps a diary of her aura reading sessions, where she notes down her own analysis of each customer she served, describing how she felt the person’s mind was, how their “heart” is like, and how their energy felt like to her.
Besides that, she and the other staff in the shop also do aura checks regularly to better understand their own energy and state of mind.
“That's why some people might ask why the report and what I share is different. The report is more general. It gives only the 'first layer', while my reading is based on my interpretation of you as well, and is more [personalised].”
As with everything, there are a lot of people who are skeptical about spirituality in general. Yi Xin is fine with that, but then, there are people who are just downright disrespectful.
“I’ve had cases where people would come in here and try to taunt me with comments like 'what do you even know about auras, you’re too young' or even challenge me by doing their own reading with their own customers in our shop. Some even come into the shop just to mess with the items.” she sighed as she recounts some of the less-than-pleasant encounters that she has had.
These has often caused Yi Xin to feel dejected, especially so at the earlier stages of her career. But as the years went by, she has come to realise that no matter what she does, there will always be people who don't believe in what she does.
“It used to affect me a lot because it feels like they didn’t even give me a chance in the first place. They come with the mindset that they don't believe and won't believe, and nothing will change if they've already set on the verdict beforehand. That’s why now I prefer to only read for those who genuinely need some sort of clarity and is willing to give it a chance.”
But that’s something she’s willing to accept, as long as she gets to continue helping people out there.
“Personally, what I want to do is just help people. People who feel like they’ve lost their hope, is lost in life, can’t properly see a situation or a way out of their problem. As a spiritual practitioner, I believe my purpose is to give people peace of mind and help them gain some sort of introspection.”
However, It’s only recently that Yi Xin saw the light in her career.
“What changed was that I actually met someone who closed himself off from his family for weeks because he wanted to commit suicide. But through the spiritual reading, he opened up and was able to gain another perspective of the problems he was facing.”
It is also because of cases like these that initially motivated her to make the switch from film (which she studied) to this line of work—it is more meaningful and fulfilling.
Be it aura reading, horoscopes, or tarot card reading, the spiritual is always intangible and up to one’s interpretation and discernment.
If a session of aura reading can provide solace to someone who felt like they’ve lost all hope, who are we to determine whether it’s right or wrong? After all, it’s human nature for us to yearn for something to believe in, something that will get us through the toughest of times and provide us with the reassurance of better days ahead.
Whether we choose to believe it or not, it’s undeniable that spiritual readings are indeed beneficial to some.
Perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong questions all along. Instead of being fixated on the whole “is this real” debate, what we should have been asking is “why?”.
Despite all the skepticism, Yi Xin has accepted that hers is not a path that is recognised by most people. It doesn't matter either because it is not for her to decide what other people speak of her.
Ultimately, her biggest wish is for those who visit her shop for spiritual readings to leave the place with a new found sense of clarity to take on the world with zest once more. And if she can be that person to enable her customers or make them that little bit happier, it's enough.
Also read: Legit Or Not? A Sceptical Millennial Tries Hypnotherapy By A Professional In Singapore
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