Editor’s Note: Andrew passed away peacefully at 11:25pm on 31 August 2019. We'd like to extend our heartfelt condolences to Andrew's family and friends.
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“It’s the absence of hope that makes cancer patients lose all sense of life.”
At 32, Andrew has only about four to six months to live, should his current treatments fail. He has Aggressive Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and it isn’t the first time medical treatments have failed on him. He had already gone through 10 rounds of what is supposed to be the most effective, available chemotherapy for his case, only for the cancer cells to return with a vengeance.
Within the span of less than a year, he has gone from optimistic and hopeful to terminally ill.
When I first met Andrew about 9 years ago, he was an assistant producer at the place I interned at. In short, just an ordinary, healthy person who is few years my senior. Yet, when I met him at a cafe near his home earlier last week, he had to walk with the help of a cane. What used to be the physique of a sportsman is now this frail person with a slight hunchback, pallid face, and a bare head, save for a soft fuzz of hair that has started to regrow.
He was first diagnosed with stage 1 Aggressive Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects certain types of immune system cells, last June. The tumour has since grown to a point where he is unable to ‘survive’ without the use of morphine. The tumour growth near his lungs presses on his rib cage every time he takes a breath, causing him immense pain.
Back then, it was only by pure coincidence that the doctor stumbled upon the tumor.
It was only when Andrew checked himself into A&E for a high fever one night when they found out.
He had gone to the hospital as a precautionary measure, as he had a history with Pneumothorax (collapsed lung). Fearing complications that could have arose from the major surgery he did for Pneumothorax prior, the doctors ran some x-ray tests on him. The tests returned with signs of a tumour growth at the upper part of his chest.
Further biopsy tests identified it as stage 1 Lymphoma.
“Back then, the doctors were super confident—it wasn’t a complicated case. 90 percent of people who had this [cancer] at this stage have been cured.”
With that assurance and his strong belief in the medical system, he proceeded with the recommended treatments—chemotherapy—confident that it was nothing to worry about.
“I had great trust in our medical treatments. Like eh, stage one [only], what is this man! You know, I thought this will just be something like a few months ‘holiday’ where I go for treatments, then I’ll be out soon enough.”
Nobody would have expected that he was that 10 percent.
Instead of shrinking, the tumour grew from 8cm to 13.5cm. By this time, the cancer cells had began to spread to his other organs—the worst sign of any cancer. The 10 rounds of chemotherapy, which comprised of R-EPOCH therapy, and another stronger, RICE therapy, had failed.
As he went on to explain how chemotherapy works on cancer patients, Andrew added that it is something he would never wish upon anybody.
“It lives up to its reputation as a very uncomfortable process.”
The side effects of chemotherapy varies for each person. For Andrew, the sessions completely sucked the life out of him and made it impossible to palate anything. “I would eat and then ‘Merlion’ everything out.”
Besides the nausea, lethargy, and hair loss, there was also a general uneasiness in his body which he could only describe as “an oily feeling,” and “it’s like your body is rejecting [what’s being done to it]”
When he saw the PET scan and heard the doctor’s remarks, his first thoughts were: “So how long more do I have left?”
“I don’t want to be in a situation where I haven’t said my goodbyes and I haven’t done my final things before I pass away.”
Any cancer patient would have mentally prepared themselves for the worst, but knowing that the worst that they could expect came true is another thing altogether. The news gutted Andrew and his family.
A Christian, he had on many occasions questioned why God allowed this to happen to him. He questioned why it had to be him. Why it had to be cancer.
Acceptance only came later, and it came from the pain that he had to go through.
“There was one night I really thought I was really going to die.”
He recounted to me about the night a bad coughing fit left him curled up into a ball on his bed. Besides the physical pain he felt at his ribs and the stars he was seeing from it, it also broke his heart to see his mother crying by his bedside.
“My mum said that she wished she could take the pain from me. She said that she wished she could be the one who had cancer instead of me. For me, for a child to see your mother crying for you so helplessly, it was so painful.”
In our generation, a lot of us spend long hours at work or with our friends. It was no different for Andrew. Looking back at the times he had placed work and friends above time with his family, his biggest regret is not having spent enough time with his mother.
“Ultimately, during the most difficult time of my life it was my mum who sat at the side of my bed. She cannot do anything but sit there and cry, but it’s this kind of relationship that [reminds me that this is something] we should never compromise.”
Andrew's everyday life now revolves around rest. His therapies leave him with little energy for anything else. Besides the 16 or 17 hours of sleep he needs a day, he spends his time on simple pleasures like reading, catching up with friends, or fulfilling his wanderlust through travel shows on Netflix.
Since the traditional treatment of chemotherapy has failed, he has gone on to alternative therapies, which works slower and have a lower success rate. And because his is an aggressive cancer, it is now a race against time—for the alternative therapy to save him before the cancer takes his life.
However, the prognosis, or ‘time till death’ is not something that the doctors can determine as he is on a relatively new treatment. If it does not work, he will only have up to six months to live.
“The truth for cancer patients is that we cling on to every bit of hope if possible because otherwise, there’s really nothing else to cling on to anymore.”
Hope. It is the one thing that keeps Andrew alive despite being in the face of death. Besides, cancer is unlike the common cough and flu, where you know recovery is only a matter of time with the help of medications.
Reflecting on his journey, he tells me about how the worst part is when the doctor looks at him with a look of defeat—when they look like they have no idea what else to do.
“It’s the absence of hope that makes cancer patients lose all sense of life.
The fear of death is what makes people struggle with coming to terms with being terminally ill, he explained, and stressed the importance of seeing death as a happy closure. The change in mindset and the understanding that death is one end to the pain and suffering is what helped him accept death.
As someone who used to be extremely health conscious, Andrew joked about how he regrets not living life previously. "I used to actively clamp down on a lot of things believing that I have my health under my control. I should have just eaten whatever I want!”
Lymphoma, however, is one of those mysterious diseases that do not discriminate. He just happened to one who has it.
“I think we should live our life as happy as possible. Make a commitment to live as happy as possible. Happiness is now. Happiness is eating dinner with friends and family instead of doing paperwork at 9pm thinking that your boss and company will appreciate.”
For those who are also terminally ill, “Never stop fighting. Fighting on is a big part of fighting cancer.”
Many patients get very depressed and scared as they fear the ultimate result of cancer: death. However, one needs to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel and believe that the pain will end.
“You need to believe that it will not be darkness when you close your eyes for the last time. [For me,] that is the hope I need to cling on to because otherwise I will fall into depression.”
Even loved ones will not be able to help in this journey, for it is a very personal battle when it comes to accepting death.
“We need to cling on to something larger and stronger than ourselves,” Andrew emphasised.
“The moment we give up hope, the battle is lost.”
Also read: Meet The ‘Spiritual Guru’ Whose Job Is To Make You Rethink Your Life.
They say that you are a reflection of the company you keep. For Asher, who had his brush with being “a little bit delinquent” in his secondary school days, this couldn’t be more true.
“You know lah, like most boys, I had those days where I was a ‘wannabe <a href=" (gangster)’,” Asher jested. Having a best friend with “a very beng perspective” and whose friends and family were all equally ‘beng’ rubbed off of him. He was on the path towards a similar lifestyle at that point. Those were the days where he would get into a lot of fights, just because.
Growing up in a single-parent household, things weren’t as simple back at home either. Due to conflicts he had with his mother, the animosity between them grew. Things escalated to the point where he decided to leave home. He lived with a friend, taking on multiple part-time jobs to cover his own school fees and personal expenses.
He was just a young polytechnic student at that point.
Then, he started to struggle with body dysmorphia: “I felt like I was ugly and that I was never good enough.” This feeling of inadequacy stuck with him well into his 20s and over time, developed into full-blown depression.
The turbulent emotions from dealing with the transitions in his life, coupled with the complications he faced with a dysfunctional family, led Asher down the path of self-harm. He had even attempted to take his own life as a way out.
“I was actually really good at hiding it—my depression. The ones closest to me know, but it still came as a shock when they know that I hurt myself, especially for my mentors.”
It didn’t help that socially, it was also “not cool to have mental health problems, and not cool to get panic attacks.”
Fortunately, Asher’s personal anchor with his religion helped him out of such a lifestyle that he was on track for: “what really did save me was when I saw how my friends were taking drugs and all, and I saw the kind of lifestyle they were falling into.”
In church, he was given opportunities to work with youth-in-need, which opened up his eyes to social work.
“I was also blessed with mentors, friends, and a community that cared and believed in me. Today I want to give the struggling youths out there the same opportunities that were created for me.”
With that motivation, Asher’s work with youths later culminated in Limitless—a Voluntary Welfare Organisation (VWO) he started.
“Imagine where will you be if all your boundaries are taken away. What can you achieve?”
Asher pitched, when I asked about how Limitless came about.
Together with his partner and a couple of like-minded friends, the initial concept of Project Imagine went through several changes before Limitless came to be today.
“We founded with the main mission of empowering youths, regardless of background, circumstances, or history, to fulfill their potential.”
Three years on today, the team has grown to include 40 volunteers with about 15 to 20 of them supporting Limitless with administration work, design, social media, web platforms, therapy and counselling work, and events.
Mental health is increasingly emphasised and not only do we hear of more people suffering from mental health disorders today, there are also increasingly younger Singaporeans seeking help for mental health issues.
Having gone through a difficult rite of passage himself, Asher explained that a lot of youths struggle with mental health issues because of the changes they face in their transition years: “It is where they are [susceptible to feeling lost and confused.]”
This is where Limitless steps in with various therapy work, befriending and counselling services, and a support helpline to provide a sort of ‘safe haven’ for youths to share their troubles. For youths who are born with disadvantaged circumstances especially, giving them that little boost goes a long way in empowering them to step out of their comfort zone and to fulfill their full potential.
“Say a youth who can’t focus in school because he has bipolar disorder and struggles with thoughts of killing himself. Or the youth who comes from a poor family and when she went to primary one, everyone else could do math already but she can’t because they went to preschool and she didn’t, and that caused her to be behind everyone else all the way into secondary school. So, we see our work as that of bridging that gap.”
Social programmes like dance, music and sport programmes are also avenues Limitless provides to facilitate their aim for the youths they serve.
With increasing focus on outreach and education on mental health, Limitless has also partnered with a network of organisations and companies to provide opportunities like subsidised tuition, internship, or even work for young adults.
Although, running a VWO (charity) in Singapore is in itself the greatest challenge.
“To be honest for the first couple of years, the directors, including myself, were the primary [people funding the organisation]. Meaning I didn’t take a salary, and instead gave to the organisation whenever it was in the red. But it’s gotten better as more people hear about the work that we do.”
Today some of the funds that support their work include the Tote Board Shared Gifting Circle for Children and Youth Mental Health, the National Youth Fund, and private family led funds such as the Zen Dylan Koh Fund—which has been covered in a heartbreaking feature by Straits Times earlier this year.
For Asher, who finds privilege in being able to be surrounded by people in the ‘helping professions’, like counsellors, running Limitless is for himself as much as it is for the youths he champions for.
“When I meet young people who grew up with similar struggles to myself. Those who come from single parent or broken homes, and those who struggle with depression or come in telling me they hate themselves. I see myself in them.”
Although, working in such a social and service oriented industry still takes its toll on him. As someone who relates on a personal level with the many struggles his clients and youths go through, he has to keep steadfast to his vision. This, on top of having to sacrifice family time for work, and having to deal with problems of his own—his position makes it that much harder for him to share his problems freely.
However, he strongly believes that every youth have their own calling in life, regardless of circumstances, and all they need is the opportunity.
“These callings and destinies may right now be in the form of a dream, an aspiration, a strength, a passion, or quoting Marie Kondo: something that sparks joy in their life. I don’t want them to lose the opportunity to live out that potential.”
With a vision to continue advocating the concept of potential in youths, Asher hopes to train people to be able to stand through their struggles, and to be that friend to help others around call out the good in their life.
“If the youths get that support, a mentor, or opportunities in the most mouldable stage of their lives, I believe amazing things can happen. Because it happened for me.”
Also read: Paying It Forward: Why Volunteering During Chinese New Year Was More Valuable Than Any Angbao.
(All images used in header provided by Asher Low)
For the longest time, people have been paying thousands of dollars on 'healing stones' and special talismans that promise to bless the owners with better health and dispel negative energy.
"Scam", "gimmick", and "manipulative" are just some of the terms that come to mind when one thinks of anything spiritual, and that includes tarot card readings, fortune telling, and the sorts. But do they really deserve to be dubbed as such? And if they are, why do people still buy into things like these?
In search of answers, I found myself at the second floor of Fu Lu Shou Complex, where I decided to get an aura reading done at Kang Li Mineral Kingdom.
“I think people need these kind of spiritual [readings] to really let certain things go and help themselves and ourselves also.”
The 32-year-old spiritual practitioner, Yi Xin, explained when I asked her why people are still going for spiritual readings amidst my reading.
She has been working at Kang Li Mineral Kingdom for over 16 years now.
Maybe it’s the warm smile staff wore or the soothing background music, but as I stepped foot into the shop, I felt welcomed and strangely at ease.
Unlike what I had envisioned, the shop isn’t rundown and cramped with sculptures and scriptures. Canvases of scenic oil paintings decorated the walls while gemstones and agate crystals lined two rows beneath them. A counter smack in the middle of the shop is lined with polaroid-like prints of aura photography, with labels such as “goddess aura” and “rainbow aura”.
After savouring the cup of berry tea they served, one of the staff ushered me to another spot to get my aura photographed.
With a nervous smile, I made my way to a wooden bench positioned right in front of a black backdrop. A vintage looking film camera propped by a tripod sits a metre before me.
The staff told me to relax and place my hands on the two metal hand prints thats by my left and right, although my mind was racing with questions, “What in the world is going on? What does this do? How does this work?”, I kept mum and did as told.
“Okay, now look into the camera, relax and smile!”
I took a deep breath and flashed a smile. I felt like a kid whose portrait was being taken for the school yearbook, excited but also nervous, with no idea what outcome to expect. A few seconds passed before the shutter went off.
A polaroid emerges from the camera and the staff pulls it out as a nearby printer starts to run, printing what looks like an analytical report.
I was then ushered to a more secluded corner of the shop, where Yi Xin greets me with a beaming smile. Unlike what’s portrayed in most films, Yi Xin is not dressed in a long flowy robe with a bandana in her hair and a cat purring on her lap. Instead, she’s got on a dark purple pantsuit, light makeup, and a gemstone pendant hangs from her neck.
At this point in time, I just want to know what my aura portrait means. Is it good? Is it bad? What does it say about me?
Yi Xin starts off by introducing to me the whole concept behind auras.
“So basically how the aura forms is that we have these seven chakras that every one of us has. All these points will vibrate and give off energy based on what you think, how you feel and the things that you do. So when they all come together, naturally they’ll form your aura.”
On the left is what you’re attracting in. The right is what your future presents, and the centre is your core.
My aura presently? A bright scarlet red, with a presence of orange at the core. After seeing all the colourful auras that were plastered on the counter before this, I couldn’t help but feel worried, and my defences were up, ready to dispel any misinterpretation that may come my way.
A month back, I’ve gotten my aura photographed for the very first time, and it was a dark brooding red. I showed Yi Xin my previous aura portrait and asked for her views. She placed both polaroids side by side and inspected it for a brief moment before giving me nods of approval.
Yi Xin share that I’ve got what she’d refer to as the “warrior aura” and people with such auras have a strong personality and it’s hard to shape someone like us.
“I think all along you are more careful with how you feel and you are more aggressive in the way that you are. The orange at the heart however shows that something lit up in you and you are now happier. Previously you were dealing with some really hard stuff but now you are better. You have dreams you are chasing and you feel joy, although you might still feel stifled sometimes.”
For someone who has only met me for the first time, Yi Xin was surprisingly accurate in reading my personal life. I was in awe, but also bewildered that she was able to deduce that I’ve just came out of a tough period in my life and am now at a much better place.
Any of us in this situation would be.
“Any questions?”
“How were you able to tell all that with just a picture of coloured light? What exactly is aura again? And how did this whole aura thing came about? How does it work?”
Yi Xin laughed and beamed me a smile as she began addressing my doubts.
“Your aura is your energy, how you interact with people, what you put off to people. That's why when you meet certain people you might feel like they’re fierce or aloof, that kind of stuff, it's because of their aura.”
She went on to touch on the origins of aura photography, which was invented by a professor, <a href=" Guy Coggins, who wanted to create a tool to measure the human energy field in real time, and help therapists and healers better understand and aid those in need.
I told her about someone I knew from school who claimed that they could see people’s aura with their own eyes and asked her if that’s possible.
“Actually, I personally believe that it’s tough for one to be able to see auras, especially in Singapore.”
Yi Xin suggest that though it’s not impossible, it’s harder for it to be credible. Even she herself can’t see auras. After all, the auras “photographed” are actually credited to the biofeedback hand sensor and the aura machine.
The hand sensor itself has various contact points on them which are connected with certain organs of the body. This allows the machines to measure the electromagnetic field of the user and in turn deliver information about the energetic and auric qualities of that person.
The data is then projected as a radiant coloured glow on the polaroid.
“On the other hand, there are also [commercialised] aura readings
nowadays, where they just want to sell you a product. There are even apps that allow you to get your aura read with just a picture.”
Yi Xin feels that such apps only defeats the purpose as it’s not the most authentic experience, nor will it be as in depth and personalised, thus unable to provide that sense of clarity that most people come to seek for.
As the daughter of the owners of Kang Li Mineral Kingdom, Yi Xin has been surrounded by spirituality since young. Besides aura photography, their shop also does tarot card reading, crystal healing spa, geomancy and feng shui, to name a few.
Thus, it doesn’t come as a surprise that at just age 17, Yi Xin has already started to dabble in aura reading, tarot card, feng shui and crystal healing, among others.
“Back then, there wasn’t anyone who could teach you such skills, and even if there are, they don't know how to begin teaching as well, so I started learning and reading the basics by myself.”
“At first, I thought it was just explaining to people the meaning of the items so I was very [technical] with my readings. But as I grew older and talked to more people, I realised that I needed to meet and observe people of all walks of life to truly be able to identify the different kinds of auras and understand people better. Only then will I be able to know how to help different kinds of people better.”
In her quest to become a better spiritual practitioner, Yi Xin also keeps a diary of her aura reading sessions, where she notes down her own analysis of each customer she served, describing how she felt the person’s mind was, how their “heart” is like, and how their energy felt like to her.
Besides that, she and the other staff in the shop also do aura checks regularly to better understand their own energy and state of mind.
“That's why some people might ask why the report and what I share is different. The report is more general. It gives only the 'first layer', while my reading is based on my interpretation of you as well, and is more [personalised].”
As with everything, there are a lot of people who are skeptical about spirituality in general. Yi Xin is fine with that, but then, there are people who are just downright disrespectful.
“I’ve had cases where people would come in here and try to taunt me with comments like 'what do you even know about auras, you’re too young' or even challenge me by doing their own reading with their own customers in our shop. Some even come into the shop just to mess with the items.” she sighed as she recounts some of the less-than-pleasant encounters that she has had.
These has often caused Yi Xin to feel dejected, especially so at the earlier stages of her career. But as the years went by, she has come to realise that no matter what she does, there will always be people who don't believe in what she does.
“It used to affect me a lot because it feels like they didn’t even give me a chance in the first place. They come with the mindset that they don't believe and won't believe, and nothing will change if they've already set on the verdict beforehand. That’s why now I prefer to only read for those who genuinely need some sort of clarity and is willing to give it a chance.”
But that’s something she’s willing to accept, as long as she gets to continue helping people out there.
“Personally, what I want to do is just help people. People who feel like they’ve lost their hope, is lost in life, can’t properly see a situation or a way out of their problem. As a spiritual practitioner, I believe my purpose is to give people peace of mind and help them gain some sort of introspection.”
However, It’s only recently that Yi Xin saw the light in her career.
“What changed was that I actually met someone who closed himself off from his family for weeks because he wanted to commit suicide. But through the spiritual reading, he opened up and was able to gain another perspective of the problems he was facing.”
It is also because of cases like these that initially motivated her to make the switch from film (which she studied) to this line of work—it is more meaningful and fulfilling.
Be it aura reading, horoscopes, or tarot card reading, the spiritual is always intangible and up to one’s interpretation and discernment.
If a session of aura reading can provide solace to someone who felt like they’ve lost all hope, who are we to determine whether it’s right or wrong? After all, it’s human nature for us to yearn for something to believe in, something that will get us through the toughest of times and provide us with the reassurance of better days ahead.
Whether we choose to believe it or not, it’s undeniable that spiritual readings are indeed beneficial to some.
Perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong questions all along. Instead of being fixated on the whole “is this real” debate, what we should have been asking is “why?”.
Despite all the skepticism, Yi Xin has accepted that hers is not a path that is recognised by most people. It doesn't matter either because it is not for her to decide what other people speak of her.
Ultimately, her biggest wish is for those who visit her shop for spiritual readings to leave the place with a new found sense of clarity to take on the world with zest once more. And if she can be that person to enable her customers or make them that little bit happier, it's enough.
Also read: Legit Or Not? A Sceptical Millennial Tries Hypnotherapy By A Professional In Singapore
If you’ve ever looked down at the spare tire around your waist and felt sad for yourself for having grown so fat, then resolving to diet but never actually getting down to it, cheers.
Unless you are one of the lucky bastards blessed with high metabolism, you will know how hard it is to stay fit. It’s damn near impossible when you love food, especially when distractions are everywhere—GrabFood promotions, seasonal fast food menus, and new food places popping out every so often.
And when work already sucks the energy out of you, exercise’s hardly an option.
For those who have been following our Real Talk episodes however, you would have noticed the transformation of one of the cast members, Dew, whose weight loss journey inspired the #DUNSTOP ‘challenge’.
Here, we spoke to him to find out how he went from fatso to (quite a) fitspo in just a few months.
In an old photo of Dew from 10 years ago, he was actually a tall and thin guy, although, he had gone “in and out of the fat zone” before.
It was only when he started working full-time when he started to gain weight. While he knew that he was in the “fat range”, he never knew that he was that fat: “Y’know? When you look at yourself in the mirror and start justifying yourself?”
The realisation came when he casually decided to weigh himself after a indulgent Mala BBQ dinner.
“In my head, I was maybe like 85KG to 88KG, but I wasn’t! I WAS F***ING 99KG. So I was like, f***! I can’t do this, I need to lose weight.”
Knowing that he was once stick thin when he was in his teens motivated him a little, as it gave him the understanding that he could lose weight quickly if he tried.
It wasn’t the first time he had tried to lose weight either, as he had lost 14KG from dieting back in 2015. However, eating only meat and vegetables, and taking only two meals daily was a dreadful experience.
“I was suffering and I didn’t want to go through that again. I remembered seeing Fakkah Fuzz (a local stand-up comedian) posting about YOLO Food. I started researching and decided to try it for a month.”
For the whole month, Dew did nothing but diet, sticking to a strict meal plan from YOLO Food (a healthy food delivery service), and ensuring that he was doing a calorie deficit of 500kcals.
“You need to find out your base metabolic rate. For me, I burn 1900kcals a day at that time. So, I only eat up to 1,400kcals a day.”
Healthy food is pricey and the money for his meals was one significant investment, but for Dew, the most ‘painful’ part is having to cut out the things that he was so used to.
Besides completely abstaining from sugar and carbs for the first month, Dew started to switch out a lot of his usual go-to foods for healthier alternatives.
“Kopi Peng turned into Kopi C Kosong. Rice turned into Cauliflower Rice. Potato turned into Sweet Potato. Mala turned into… no more lah.”
Naturally, it was hard at the start. For Dew, taking away certain foods is akin to taking away his weekends, because “I had nothing to look forward to in terms of food.” But, the results began to show when he lost 8KG purely from watching his diet.
Subsequently, he started working out and breaking up his diet to complement his workouts.
Dew’s workout routine in the second month
Like his diet, working out is also a lot of self-discipline and self-motivation.
It’s also key to reward yourself for the hard work and for Dew, it’s as simple as taking a puff at the end of his workout—which he always documents on his Instagram Stories with “#DUNSTOP”.
As the months passed, he added more bodyweight and core workouts to suit his pace.
There were times where it got really exhausting. For times where Dew feels like he needs a little ‘break’, he settles it with a small bag of chips, “and then I feel like shit because I cheated and I’ll stop.”
However, a stronger motivation was the peer support.
“It might sound superficial but what really helped me to not stop is when people go like ‘whoa! you lost so much weight!’ It also helped that my friends were cheering me on day-to-day and most importantly, they joined me for workouts.”
The personal satisfaction he got from seeing results, mentally and through the numbers on the scale, also kept him going
By the end of the fourth month, Dew lost 18.5KG.
Eight months into his fitness journey and having hit his 20KG weight loss goal, Dew has gone on to do strength training while still keeping his diet—eating at a calorie deficit and avoiding white carbs and sugar.
Although, he’s also a bit more lenient on himself on weekends, where he eats what he wants.
Apart from the shift in wardrobe and body size, his physical transformation has also boosted his confidence and helped him a lot mentally.
“It feels good to know I'm at lesser risk of getting health problems. This journey really taught me the importance of trying and not giving up. I tend to call "bullshit" on people who keeps quoting ‘don't give up don't give up’, but this has shown the actual results.”
Dew emphasised that at the end of the day, “healthy living is a lifestyle, not a sprint.”
Instead of comparing yourself and your progress against others, go with the pace you’re comfortable with. Try the different diets available and find one that suits your day-to-day needs. Stick to it for three months or so, then change it up so you don't get bored.
But most importantly, slow progress doesn't mean no progress. Just—as Dew also says in his Stories—#DUNSTOP!
Also read: Hustle Together, Stay Together – These Singaporean Couples Prove That Office Romance Can Work.
“It felt like the world just stopped.”It was at that point that Crow started reflecting and decided to leave the gang. At 19 and serving NS however, it wasn’t long before Crow found himself back in the predicament of going back to his old days due to financial pressures. With $350 of his $520 monthly allowance going towards the rental of his mum’s flat, the remaining was barely enough to cover utilities, food, and transport among other expenses. He started selling cigarettes to earn and eventually succumbed to selling drugs when the bills piled up. One thing led to the other and he was soon back in his old gang. This time round, as a headman of a particular territory with over 20 boys under him.
“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but I never imagined actually being in prison.”Prison life was undoubtedly hard and it took him more than a year to accustom himself to the new life. Facing four walls all day, losing the freedom to do what he wants to do, and having to perform the same routine over and over again was a huge mental challenge. The hardest part, however, is that there was no ‘end date’ to all of that because he did not know when he was going to be released, or whether he was even going to be released. Many times, Crow had to distract himself from such depressing thoughts by doing things he never would have done prior, like reading. Disgruntled by how the legislation could lock anyone up without any release date, he decided to ‘take revenge’, “I was thinking that since they are going to do this to me, fine, I will take full advantage of whatever facilities or resources they have.” Who knew that that motivation was what became the turning point of Crow’s life. After getting into Prison School and realising that he could actually do anything well if he puts his mind to it, he went on to complete his O-levels and A-levels there. Most of all, as he was exposed to more knowledge, he begin to realise what he wanted to do when he gets out. “I want to be a better me, to do good things for myself and for people. If not for myself, I owe it to all my loved ones who have visited me to do so.”
In our journey to go back to our roots, we caught up with 3 millennials who are pursuing their passion for traditional art forms. Here are their stories on disputing generation stereotypes, chasing their dreams, and preserving the invaluable cultural heritage passed down from our forefathers.
Watch Episode 1 of Channel NewsAsia's Back to School <a href="
The experiment gave invaluable insights into 10 average Singaporeans' lives and proved that despite the huge age gaps, friendship is possible.
While the episodes presented very interesting and endearing interactions between the Secondary school teenagers and their elderly partners, we wanted to find out more about what went on behind the scenes.
We spoke to Riddhi, Louise, and the production team. Here’s how they succeeded in making friends out of strangers who are generations apart.
Breaking The Barriers
Like most teens, Riddhi has no clear direction in life yet. She doesn’t fit in with peers in her school either, and prefers her world of fan fiction and indie music.
As for ex-headhunter Louise, most of her time is spent on church activities and picking up different interests like crochet (to help with her Parkinson’s) and acro-aerobics (to keep herself fit).
Naturally, it took a bit of time to warm up to each other over the palpable age barrier.
“She was shy, tall, and thin,” Louise recalled, “she reminded me of myself when I was younger, and I knew that I’ll need to be patient if I want her to open up.”
Similarly, Riddhi felt nervous and a little bit awkward to be meeting someone she knew nothing about.
Then, things got a lot easier when the pair found out that they’re both bookworms.
Speaking to Louise over the phone, I could picture Louise smiling as she shared a fond memory of when they were getting to know each other, “Riddhi even brought me around her school library and we picked out books together.”
Becoming Friends
Despite the challenges in accommodating to each other’s needs, Riddhi and Louise grew to not only embrace, but help each other in their weaknesses.
In an Escape Room game, Riddhi went out of her way to lift Louise up as Louise was having a bit of trouble with her weak legs. It was there that Louise saw a different side of Riddhi: that she isn’t that shy after all.
As for Riddhi’s lack of confidence, Louise managed to break down the walls and got her to be more vocal about her inner thoughts and feelings.
More Than Just Companionship
Having set out to test the success of intergenerational friendship researches done in US and Japan, the producers were “quite apprehensive about whether a simple friendship could make a difference, but the results showed a definite improvement.”
Not just for Riddhi and Louise, but the seniors from the other pairs also showed significant improvements in fitness, memory and mood, while the teenagers got a massive boost in self-esteem and a better attitude towards life. The pairs also formed real friendships and saw the other generation in a significantly better light.
“She taught me to be more responsible and punctual,” Riddhi said. “(And) she opened up my eyes to how teenage girls today are like,” Louise added.
Now, besides writing stories, reading books, or going for piano lessons, Riddhi would hang out with Louise. And Louise is more than happy to spend quality time with Riddhi, “Riddhi would actually call me and ask me if she can spend the day with me. I’d cook for her and we’d just talk about anything under the sun as we ate.”
Best Friends Forever?
Now that the 10-week ‘project’ has ended, how do Riddhi and Louise see each other?
While Riddhi sees Louise as a good friend whom she can share problems with, Louise thinks of herself as Riddhi’s surrogate mother without the parental control, “I think Riddhi trusted me as an outsider, that’s why she shared her worries with me. It’s easier to share your problems to outsiders than to your own parents.”
What is the secret to their surprising bond?
“Listen, listen, and listen,” Louise emphasised, “seniors must take the first step to reach out, and don’t rush to impose or impart your knowledge until the young ones are ready to listen. Be patient.”
And for the young ones, “Don’t judge someone just because of their age,” Riddhi shared.
Watch the 10-week journey of Riddhi, Louise, and the other senior-teenager pairs on Channel NewsAsia’s Back to School <a href="
This story is written in collaboration with Channel NewsAsia.
Also read, These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother’s Love Is Like No Other.
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