As a teenager, I wasn’t a very good student. I neglected my studies, my teachers, and my parents. I failed at being a good daughter as well. Instead of heeding their advice on focusing on my studies, I disrespected them instead. Despite their warnings, I hung out at clubs and bars with friends they disapproved of and spent most of their money on clubbing, drinking, and shopping. In school, the kids labelled me a slut. Was I a slut? Maybe. I mean, I’ve slept with guys whose names I don’t even remember anymore. And I’ve slept with guys just because I wanted sex and they were available. Back then, I thought it was fun.

THEN I GOT PREGNANT

I should have known that being careless would one day put me in a sticky situation: getting accidentally pregnant at 16. When the gynaecologist congratulated me for being 4 months pregnant, it took me a minute to fully digest what she’d said. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe it. How could I have let this happen? What are people going to say? I was not even capable enough to take care of myself, how could I bring up another human being? The first thing I did after I left the clinic was call the father of the child. When I told him about the baby, all he said was,

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

I didn’t expect much from him as he never signed up to be a parent. But neither had I. After all, I was only 16. After knowing that I had to deal with my pregnancy on my own, I panicked. I realised I had two options - I could either give birth to the child and somehow find a way to bring him or her up alone or I could get an abortion. When I thought about the life growing inside me, I knew there was no way I would be able to give him a life that he deserves - one with stability and a happy family, where he would be wanted and loved. But the thought of getting an abortion was heartbreaking as well. Taking a life isn’t something that I could turn back from. Once done, it was done. I’d have to live with that decision for the rest of my life. I kept asking myself: Was I prepared for that? Could I live with myself after that? The week that followed was torturous. I had decided that getting an abortion was the best option for me at the time. It took me a lot of strength to make the call to book an appointment for the abortion. At that point, I had only told two people about my pregnancy - my father and my best friend. I wasn’t expecting the reaction I got from my father. I wanted him to scold me, scream at me, tell me how wrong I was for not listening to him. But he didn’t do any of those things. He didn’t say anything and just quietly paid for the abortion. I knew that I had disappointed him. And I knew I didn’t deserve his help.

THE GUILT OF AN ABORTION

Despite telling myself repeatedly that this is the best decision for me, I couldn’t help but feel like a murderer. Knowing that I was about to take a life was the worst feeling in the world.   I kept thinking of every possible thing I should have done that could’ve prevented this day from ever coming. “I should have used protection.” “I shouldn’t have slept with that guy.”  “I should’ve stayed at home that night.” But it was too late now. On the day of the abortion, every second I laid in that bed waiting for the nurse was agonising. The last thing I remember before the anesthesia kicked in was looking down and whispering to my belly,

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have a choice.”

I woke up relieved that the procedure was over, but at the same time, I felt a wave of bottomless sadness. I still felt guilty. That night, a child appeared in my dreams. In the dream, I saw the back of the child seated on a chair. I remember feeling terrified as I stared at the child’s head, unable to move. I woke up in tears that night. I cried myself to sleep every night and woke up crying every morning as the nightmare became a recurrent thing. The fear and crying in the middle of the night became a vicious cycle and was one of the most dreadful periods of my life. Thankfully, the nightmares stopped a month later.

NOT AGAIN

Less than a year after the nightmares stopped, I found myself looking at the pregnancy kit and muttering to myself, “not again.” I was no longer 'sleeping around' with guys I barely knew and had just got into a new relationship with my then-boyfriend, Timothy*. My heart sank as I internally reprimanded myself for being so careless again. I was angry at myself. Had I learnt nothing from the first time? When I told Timothy about it, we both decided that we weren’t ready to be parents and we couldn’t give our child a good life, so we opted for an abortion. To my surprise, there were no nightmares this time. But I was filled with self-doubt: Did I not feel guilty anymore? Shouldn’t I have felt guilty?

I had made so many mistakes in the past, and now I felt nothing about killing a child.

Does that make me a horrible person?

A MOTHER AT LAST

At 19, I was pregnant for the third time. I felt incredibly lucky this time round because despite going through two abortions, it felt that ‘destiny’ had somehow given me another chance to be a mother. Maybe it was the fear of karma, but I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself had I gone through another abortion. So this time, I decided to keep it. Timothy was supportive of my decision to keep our child too. But as we entered my last trimester, the fights started, and it got worse. He would threaten to kill me and our child and at his worst, he would physically hit me. On hindsight, I should have ended the relationship then, but as the mother of our child, I was holding on to the hope that things would get better after the baby is born. I was wrong. The physical and verbal abuse didn’t stop even after I gave birth. Timothy didn’t stop hitting me and he continued to threaten to kill me and our son, Jeremy*. I held on for two months before realising that this abuse wasn’t going to stop. So I ended it. I broke up with Timothy, took Jeremy, and left for home. I had to do right by my son. I couldn’t let him be around Jeremy any longer. I was afraid of Jeremy getting hurt because of him, and I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened. Even though it hurts that things didn’t work out with Timothy, and being a single, young mother is hard, I never regretted giving birth to Jeremy.

A LEARNING JOURNEY

Looking back, I am not proud of my history. What I thought was ‘fun’ back then, I now realise was just part of my childishness. I wish I had been less playful and more careful in my teenage years. Today, I am a 22-year-old single mother of a 3-year-old. And I’m happy to say that my life has changed for the better. I have a boyfriend who loves me despite everything, and a family that has learnt to forgive me for my past mistakes and accepted me despite everything. I never saw myself becoming a single mother at 19. In fact, I never really saw myself as a mother at all because of my lack of maternal instincts. But I guess that’s what made becoming a mother all the more special for me. Unlike in the past, I don’t just do things because I feel like doing them. Now I do what’s best for me and my son. I’m also a lot more grateful now, especially to my parents. I’ve heard of parents disowning their daughters for getting pregnant young and keeping the baby, but I’m so thankful that my parents stuck by me and supported every decision that I made. Without them, I would have been completely alone. My past has made me who I am today. Had I given birth when I first got pregnant at 16, I probably wouldn’t be half the mother I am today. And had I not made the mistakes I have made, I could still be that naive girl who’s too playful for her own good. While I still have a lot to learn, everything I’ve been through has made me a better mother and a better person, and I’m proud of myself for that. *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals. Also read: Why I Chose To Be Friends With My Cheating Ex

If one were to walk past Crow on the streets, one would easily pass him off as ‘one of those matreps’. After all, he fits perfectly into that mould: Malay, tattooed arms, smokes, plays the guitar and sings. His appearance and the stereotypical label that comes with it naturally meant that he has to put in twice the effort to earn the respect of society. What makes it that much harder is the stain of a criminal record that follows him for life. When I met Crow at Orita Sinclair School of Design & Music where he’s studying however, his calm and friendly disposition is a complete opposite of who he described himself to be in his wayward adolescent years. If I wasn’t aware of his past from a video feature our team did of him a year ago, I will never fathom that he was once a prominent gang member and had served six years in prison for gang-related activities and what was classified as a murder case. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/749610395200380/ He spoke briefly about his journey in our video so when I caught up with him last week, I wanted to dive deeper into how everything started and also how much life has changed for him since the team last met him.

Growing Up In A Different World

Unlike average Singaporeans, Crow never had a proper family growing up. Neither did he really have a home. Home was wherever the person his single mother paid to look after him stayed, for she had to slog day and night to support him and his stepbrother.

With no family and no place he could truly call home, he sought solace in his friends. The many fights he got into with his mum for his lack of interest in studies pushed him further down the wrong path. At 14, he dropped out of school and a year later, joined a gang. “All my friends started joining the gang so I thought, why not? Since they are all in there, I’ll just join them too.” It is from thereon that Crow fell into the typical ‘gangster lifestyle’. He got tattooed, went clubbing, took drugs, sold drugs, got into fights, slashed and hurt many people with the use of weapons. To an outsider, these are acts done by people who do not know what they are doing. And this isn’t far from the truth. These made up Crow’s teenage years.

Crow’s world was about survival in the most primal sense. Where fights are default solutions to conflicts, violence became normalised behaviour for him. “I’m someone who want to be the best so I did whatever is expected of me and do it well to prove my worth in the gang.” Soon enough, Crow climbed the ranks and made a name for himself in the ‘gang scene’. Yet, none of his family members knew about his identity.

The First Changing Point

Things took a turn when Crow was 19. After surviving from a fight that left him with injuries so bad he was admitted to the ICU, and seeing his crying mother at the foot of his bed, the mother and child reconciled. That moment brought back long lost feelings of love and concern that he had always longed for from her. Their relationship improved but just four months after, she passed away from a sudden illness.

“It felt like the world just stopped.”

It was at that point that Crow started reflecting and decided to leave the gang. At 19 and serving NS however, it wasn’t long before Crow found himself back in the predicament of going back to his old days due to financial pressures. With $350 of his $520 monthly allowance going towards the rental of his mum’s flat, the remaining was barely enough to cover utilities, food, and transport among other expenses. He started selling cigarettes to earn and eventually succumbed to selling drugs when the bills piled up. One thing led to the other and he was soon back in his old gang. This time round, as a headman of a particular territory with over 20 boys under him.

The Law Caught Up

Things started going South when a huge fight left one of his gang members dead. Knowing that the investigations will lead the police to him, he went into hiding at various hotels and friends’ houses. He was caught in the end, along with all his boys when they were celebrating Ramadan back in his rental home. Detained by MHA under the Criminal Law Act and sent to prison immediately with no release date came as a shock to Crow at first.

“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but I never imagined actually being in prison.”

Prison life was undoubtedly hard and it took him more than a year to accustom himself to the new life. Facing four walls all day, losing the freedom to do what he wants to do, and having to perform the same routine over and over again was a huge mental challenge. The hardest part, however, is that there was no ‘end date’ to all of that because he did not know when he was going to be released, or whether he was even going to be released. Many times, Crow had to distract himself from such depressing thoughts by doing things he never would have done prior, like reading. Disgruntled by how the legislation could lock anyone up without any release date, he decided to ‘take revenge’, “I was thinking that since they are going to do this to me, fine, I will take full advantage of whatever facilities or resources they have.” Who knew that that motivation was what became the turning point of Crow’s life. After getting into Prison School and realising that he could actually do anything well if he puts his mind to it, he went on to complete his O-levels and A-levels there. Most of all, as he was exposed to more knowledge, he begin to realise what he wanted to do when he gets out. “I want to be a better me, to do good things for myself and for people. If not for myself, I owe it to all my loved ones who have visited me to do so.”

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

After six years, Crow finally got his second chance in life. Leaving prison and his past behind in 2016, he decided to use what he experienced and channel his learnings towards touching the lives of people through music.

He went on to pursue a two year part-time Diploma in Music Production and Audio Engineering. As a personal bid to prove his self-worth, Crow also works on freelance video editing projects to earn his own keep despite receiving full sponsorship from Yellow Ribbon project to help his reintegration into society. When asked if he is worried about potential trouble from his past for sharing about it, Crow explained humbly, “there’s a lot of genuinely nice people who have made bad choices in life, but lack the motivation or courage to change. I hope that my story can inspire them, that they can change too if they want to.” With only a few days to his graduation show on 15 October where he will be performing his first Single, Dunia Duit(Malay for ‘World of Money’), I wondered if the 29-year-old regrets his past. “I wouldn’t say I regret because if not for all the things that I have done and gone through, I will probably still be that naive guy with no clue what he’s doing with his life.” Beyond the social stigma, being branded an ex-offender comes with real impediments like not being to travel, having a curfew, and being restricted from certain places. Regardless, Crow doesn’t see his past actions as a hindrance to his future. When I asked if he feels the same way with his mother however, I could tell the remorse in the slight quiver in his voice. “My mum worked very hard to make ends meet so my only regret is not being able to show her my O-level results. I’ve gone on to succeed in many positive things but she will never be able to witness it.” Also read, 65-Year-Old Mdm Rebecca’s Life: A Look At The Reality Of Singapore’s Privilege Gap.

If you haven’t heard of it before, you should have by now. Ever since Crazy Rich Asians hit the cinemas, Singapore being one of the world’s richest countries has yet again become a hot topic. Thanks to the Hollywood film, Singapore is a country full of sprawling mansions and wealthy locals who hold over-the-top parties on a regular basis. But we know that this is merely entertainment. Most Singaporeans would have ended up leaving the theatre amused by that depiction while secretly crying inside - if only we were all that wealthy. The truth is far from that. We’re exactly what Nas said in his video, Crazy Poor Asians: we just get by. https://www.facebook.com/nasdaily/videos/315345822583209/ However, when you put GST increase, transport fare hikes, increase cost of utilities and inflation into the picture along with a myriad of other social issues, you get disgruntled average Singaporeans who will naturally wonder about the possibility of better prospects elsewhere.                       

"The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side"

For many millennials, studying or working overseas are opportunities we wish to experience at least once in our life. Cold weather, a slower pace of life, the freedom, and the impression of a generally better employment package are things we associate with life abroad. Also, who can pass up on the chance to travel and explore a bit of the world under the guise of study or work? In fact, a study released in July where 1000 Singaporean citizens and PRs were surveyed, seven in 10 (69%) want to work remotely to travel the world, and 85% of them would like to live abroad for some time. Unsurprising, considering how many wanderlusters you will find just by browsing through Instagram profiles.  

The study done by online money transfer service Transferwise also covered the concerns Singaporeans have about living abroad, with 56% surveyed envious about other Singaporeans ability to move out of the country.

We dream of greener pastures, of a better life and better prospects outside of Singapore, but is it really rainbow and butterflies as we envision? To better understand the realities of living abroad, we spoke to four Singaporeans who have actually gone through it themselves.

How Green Is The Grass On The Other Side?

1. Farhan - 3.5 Years In Thailand

After working in Thailand for 3.5 years as a project engineer, Farhan decided to quit and move back to Singapore following the end of his project.

What are the perks of living abroad? The freedom! I enjoyed living independently. And the downsides? It gets pretty lonely. I really missed having my family and friends around. Living independently also meant that there wasn’t anyone to help or care for me when I fell sick. There was once I was down with severe food poisoning and I felt so weak. I couldn't visit the clinic or consult the doctor because of the language barrier. It was a working day so I couldn't get my colleagues to help me with translation either. I ended up having to deal with it by myself by relying on off-the-counter medications In terms of the living environment, I was living and working at a pretty rural area. The pace of life there is slower and definitely more laid-back than in Singapore. There’s also not much to do there except for the weekend night markets.

I didn't feel as safe there as I do in Singapore. For example, walking alone late at night without feeling endangered there was a luxury. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Pick up the language used by the locals. You need to learn beyond basic conversational skills if you’re going somewhere where the main language used there isn’t familiar to you. Moving to a new place means having to learn, accept, and adapt to the new environment, and communication is key to this. Technology like Google Translate helps but it is not 100% reliable as the translations are not always accurate, and what if you experience poor internet connection? You can’t always depend on technology. Live here or live abroad? I am perfectly comfortable and happy where I am in Singapore. It's a safe and efficient country, and my family and friends are all here so I don't see a point of migrating.

2. RT - 3 years in UK

RT just came back from her completing her degree in the UK. What are the perks of living abroad? Life is a lot quieter, more chill, and university life in the UK isn’t as intense as local universities - I would imagine. I also really liked the freedom that came with not living with my parents, the ability to go back anytime and not having to worry about reporting to anyone.

And the downsides?

Being away from my parents also meant that Mum wasn’t around to help me solve my problems anymore. I learnt to appreciate the basic things in Singapore like fast internet speeds, convenient public transport and food. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? It is all the little things you don’t think about until you’re there. You have to be mentally ready to miss out on all the important events back at home, like gatherings or not being able to watch your baby relative grow up. Or the internet speed: The average internet speed in the UK is 16.5mbps, while it’s 180mbps in Singapore. Then there’s culture, safety and security. Live here or live abroad? I have thought about migrating because of the high costs of living in Singapore. I feel like we’ve stagnated in growth as a country while everything is becoming increasingly expensive. I may be wrong but at least that’s my general feeling about life in Singapore. For now, I’m staying here as I just came back from UK and do want to spend time with my family.

3. C - 4 years in UK

C also recently came back after completing his degree in the UK, where he spent one year in London and three years in Manchester. What are the perks of living abroad? The best part about living abroad is getting to experience cold most of the year, at least for where I lived at.

One thing I noticed and appreciate is how open-minded the people in UK are and how much freedom of speech they have there. I also learnt to appreciate Singapore more. I realise that Singaporeans complain too much and that people should really head out and see the reality of living abroad themselves. And the downsides? The nightlife there sucks. I’m not even talking about parties or drinks, but I wouldn’t even be able to find any food if I just wanted to have supper at night. In Singapore, you can easily get prata at night or anything else from the many 24-hour or late night food places. The services there are slow too. The service staff there always seem to be full of excuses and are a lot less responsible than in Singapore. There are many other obvious differences if you compare life there to Singapore: The standard of living, environment, the people and culture, and more. But the paced of life life there is a little too slow for me. I love the fast-paced and competitive nature in Singapore What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? The population in the area you are living at. It can get pretty dangerous and overwhelming. Consider the climate too. Live here or live abroad? There are certain decisions made by our ruling parties that I don’t agree with and I have thought of migrating, but I don’t think I ever will because having experienced the slower pace of life, I realise I still prefer the hustle and bustle here in Singapore. It keeps my fire burning.

4. Jasmin - Migrated to Perth 11 years ago

Jasmin moved to Perth, Western Australia in 2002 to pursue her dream of becoming a veterinarian. She stayed there permanently after graduating in 2007. What are the perks of living abroad? Life in Perth is pretty slow-paced and relaxed compared to Singapore. The people here are more interested in enjoying life in the present than slogging away or planning for the future. Most people are friendly and strangers would often strike up conversations with you. And the downsides? Singapore is a lot more convenient than Perth in so many ways, like public transportation, shopping, and getting food. The biggest challenge is being so far away from my friends and family, especially my parents. It’s hard to keep up with friendships and relationships, especially when life gets busy.

There isn’t really a best or worst thing of migrating, it is just a decision you make and then it becomes your norm. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Check if you are able to carve out a career in your chosen field in that particular country. Sometimes your profession may not necessarily be in demand. You don’t want to be caught in a struggle to find work after you move. Why did you choose to migrate? I wouldn’t say that I migrated because I think Australia is better or that I prefer Australia. Singapore is a wonderful place to live and so is Perth. It just so happens that Perth is home for me right now.

To Migrate Or Not To Migrate

As much as we love to think that life overseas is all beautiful and perfect, that isn't always the case. Just like the many issues we face in our life in Singapore, there are bound to be challenges wherever else you go.  Instead of living in a dream of that Great Migration, know what you are in for first. Weigh the pros and cons for yourself, and if you do find someone else more perfect for you, good for you. (Share it with us) Also read: A Millennial’s Reply To Minister Ng’s Open Letter: “Nobody Owes Us A Living”. (Header Photo by Slava Bowman on Unsplash)

Her family was torn apart by a big family dispute over property. Today, 65-year-old Mdm Rebecca only has her 76-year-old cousin as family. To avoid getting embroiled in the disputes, Mdm Rebecca decided to sever all ties with her family. The last time she spoke to her only brother was more than 40 years ago. Today, she lives in a one-room rental flat in Punggol. Her 76-year-old cousin whom she cares for is bedridden and suffering from Parkinson’s and stroke among other ailments. In her heyday more than 10 years ago, Mdm Rebecca dabbled in PR, secretarial work, and was once a housing agent. However, a severe respiratory problem left her with no choice but to stop working. Life got more challenging since then. Most of her household ‘income’, which comes from her cousin and her retirement funds, as well as her cousin’s social welfare payout, is spent on her cousin’s medical necessities like medicine and bandages. Then, there’s the struggle of being unemployed and being the only caregiver to her bedridden cousin. Mdm Rebecca’s daily routine includes feeding her cousin milk through a tube seven times through the day, changing his diapers several times, giving him the medications he needs for different conditions, repositioning his body every two hours, and stretching his limbs to prevent his muscles from atrophy and shortening. She also has to monitor him throughout the day for any signs of discomfort. She would then have to use a vacuum-cleaner-like machine and a tube to manually suck the phlegm out from his lungs - a painful but critical process for her cousin that has to be done a few times a day. With the bulk of her time dedicated to caring for her cousin, what little time she has left is spent on reading and praying. A ‘vacation’ for her today is as simple as being able to go out for a meal with a friend. Even so, she has to return home within three hours to care for her cousin. Hiring a caretaker or a maid to do her job is out of the question and it isn’t just the lack of finances. Having had maids who have told her lies, stole from her, and even cursed her with black magic, she could no longer trust them. Bad experiences with nursing homes that led to the passing of her comatose mother and the close-to-death state that her cousin returned in after a 2-day respite care have also left a bad taste in her mouth. Since then, Mdm Rebecca resolved to taking care of her cousin herself.

“My mother had already suffered. I don’t want my cousin to go through the pain of what my mother had to go through.”

Attributing her strength to her religion, Mdm Rebecca emphasised on how a positive mindset helped tide her through the hardships. “Life is temporary and all these challenges are part of life. I don’t cry easily because crying doesn’t change anything. I just do my best with what I have and I pray for the best.” As I chatted with Mdm Rebecca at her doorstep while volunteers from the Young NTUC- North East CDC Project Refresh were cleaning up her unit and giving the walls a fresh coat of paint, I couldn’t help but admire her for her resilience.

Her fizzy, greyed hair and gaunt face tells of a woman who is still facing adversity, but Mdm Rebecca’s strong spirit is refreshing and humbling. She spoke about helping neighbours in need and counselling her friends and their children. Her empathy in prioritising other people’s problems above so many of her own made me feel a mix of guilt and respect.  

Having come from a relatively privileged middle-class background, I couldn't comprehend the significance of her struggles until I stepped into her home. Mdm Rebecca’s home is about as big as a typical HDB flat’s living room, with a small corner as kitchen and a toilet right beside it. The only bed in the flat is taken up by her cousin.

As such, volunteers from Project Refresh brought in a foldable mattress for her and a desk fan. Part of the project’s efforts to improve the standards of living for the underprivileged, volunteers also helped to clean the flat, paint the walls, tidy up the home, and change the flat’s light bulbs to more cost-efficient ones as part of the ‘Switch and Save - Use LED initiative’. Project Refresh’s first session in 2016 started off with just 30 volunteers covering five units. With more and more volunteers coming onboard, the Project Refresh session I was at on 18 August saw more than 350 volunteers coming together to spruce up 38 rental units. Many think that millennials are a strawberry generation of entitled and spoilt ‘kids’. That day, however, 60% of the volunteers I saw were millennials.

For 23-Year-Old Jamie*, what they do “may not change the whole world but at least we’re able to impact someone’s life directly.” As her full-time job requires her to deal with wealthy people who live in luxury and never having to worry about basic necessities, volunteering with Project Refresh and learning about the lives of underprivileged people like Mdm Rebecca is a way for her to “feel like human again.” Year 2 student at Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP), Kelvan, was another volunteer I spoke to. Kelvan and four of his NYP classmates were painting the walls of Mdm Latifah’s unit (another resident) when I chatted with them. Still recovering from an operation to treat her osteoarthritis of the knee, 56-Year-Old Mdm Latifah is living on just $210 a month from financial assistance, and food rations from a mosque. Divorced for 30 years, she brought up her only son, who was four back then, all by herself. On some days, Mdm Latifah would even go without food so she can save money.

Like many elderly and the underprivileged, loneliness is one of the many challenges for her. With no one to talk to or help her with problems, she could only cope with the struggles of a single mother without child support from the father by going for religious classes. “I have 9 siblings and my father, but I don’t want (to bother them). Everyone’s got their own problem.” Volunteering projects like Project Refresh goes beyond the physical act of cleaning up the home. It is showing the beneficiaries that there are people out there who do care for them. The interaction among the volunteers and the beneficiaries could create strong emotional bonds too. Volunteering with Project Refresh for the second time on his own accord, Kelvan decided to sign up again because of the sense of accomplishment and the appreciation he got from the family he helped the first time round. “A couple of us from the last project even went back to visit the family. The children and the parents were just so appreciative and warm. It’s back-breaking work, but I came back because it’s very heartwarming and fulfilling.”

Mdm Latifah and Mdm Rebecca are just two of the many underprivileged who live in completely different worlds that most Singaporeans will never experience. “Seeing the conditions they live in, it makes us appreciate the things we have,” Kelvan added. Growing up in a comfortable era where we got to enjoy quality education, a stable economy, and a generally more privileged lifestyle compared to our earlier generations, it is hard to dispute the fact that millennials do demand more. However, we are also a generation that wants to do more.

Volunteer with Young NTUC

As millennials, we tend to procrastinate volunteering as much as we want to give back to society. But today, there are many volunteering opportunities available. Besides Project Refresh, there is also the Young NTUC U Heart, which lets you decide your own do-good projects for low-income families, the environment, for workers, the elderly or people with disabilities, and children or youth-at-risk. So you get to dictate the kind of change you want to make! Learn more about Young NTUC’s volunteering programmes here! * Name has been changed for privacy reasons This post is written in partnership with Young NTUC. Also read: To The Generations Before Us – Trust The Millennials With Singapore’s Future.

"I have a good work-life balance. Everyone in my office knocks off at 5pm (or 6pm) every day."  - Said no one ever. Singaporeans are overworked AF - We clocked in the longest working hours in the world in 2017. On average, <a href=" work 45 hours a week. To most of us, 45 hours do not seem like a lot, but it's because we are so used to such working hours. In fact, staying in office way beyond our 'official working hours' or working overtime (OT) is considered a norm today. Granted, there are those who work till late because they are really swamped with important deadlines. However, many Singaporeans OT also because of the societal pressure that dignifies OT, making it seem like one needs to OT to show their dedication to the company.

THE PRESSURE TO STAY BACK

I recently came across an Instagram story a friend, Jason*, posted. In it, he shared about how he had left work at 6pm sharp, only to have one of his colleagues pass a snide comment at him, "wah today go home so early.” That comment may very well be passed off as a joke, but that wasn’t the first time Jason’s colleague made such comments. It happens every time Jason leaves work on time and it shows an underlying problem that is apparent in our work culture. It's worth noting that Jason gets to work at 9am, finishes all that is required for the day and leaves the office between 6pm to 6.30pm regularly. So on that fine day, Jason finally gave his snarky colleague a comeback, “Oh, hahaha, but I also come to work on time.”  

GIF by GIPHY

But this story isn't about giving snarky people a taste of their own medicine, it's about the unhealthy association we have with working OT and employee's value. As if an outlet that everyone was waiting for, Jason's story received an outpour of positive replies from friends and followers who had also experienced similar situations.

“Going home on time isn’t a crime and OT-ing isn’t a prize.”

Truer words could not have been spoken. Clearly, Jason isn't alone in this. Most of us have been in Jason's position at some point of our career. Somehow, we feel obliged to stay back beyond our designated knock off time, especially when everyone around us seems to be glued to their seats. In fact in our society today, staying back late is deemed a positive trait. It's not surprising for bosses to have the impression that an employee OTing in the office till 10pm is a hardworking one. When did staying late at work translate to employee dedication or value? And who's to say employees don't use that mentality to their benefit, exploiting it to show their "dedication" for their work? Contrarily, no one would instinctively think of an employee who leaves office on time as an A-star employee. Because of such workplace beliefs, we feel paiseh to be the first one out the door. We choose to stare at our screens in the office just because our other colleagues are doing so. Of course, I'm not implying that everyone OT for that sole reason because some really do have to get shit done. However, many of us have been a victim to this guilt and the fear that we will be looked down upon. It's a worrying mindset to have and kind of sad. Instead of prioritising productivity and good time management, we tend to patronise employees who leave on time and favour those who stay late, even if it could mean that they lack the two aforementioned skills.

STOP TORTURING YOURSELF

This unnecessary societal pressure is further egged on by something that is innately Singaporean: our "kiasu" mentality. We always want to be better than the person next to us. It's a national sport to be competitive and this mentality manifests itself in the hours we put into work. It cultivates an unhealthy showcase of competition where everyone wants to show that they're putting in equal, if not more effort than our peers. If we weren't all caught up in the rat race, there wouldn't be a need to do OT just to prove our worth in the first place. Ask anyone to choose between work or family and friends with the context that their livelihood isn't a problem and chances are most will choose family and friends. A survey from 2016 showed that about 50% Singaporeans said they don’t spend enough quality time with their family. With figures like these, it’s no surprise that Singaporeans constantly look like they're in need of a Red Bull. I know that we millennials like to think that we're invincible and while we're still young, we see the need to strive and work harder for better days. But everyone needs work-life balance. Not only does staying late affect our social life, it affects our physical and mental health. Working late into the night and waking up at 6am or 7am the next day for work again is only going to leave us drained. Besides, we've seen the many research studies that link stress and fatigue to decreased productivity. Even our eyes need a break from the computer screen every 20 minutes. We need to give our minds and a body a break. The less rest we get, the less productive we’ll be at work the next day, which leads to the need to OT and the vicious cycle repeats. Do we really want to live our life in an endless loop of feeling stoned? I certainly don't want to go about my life like 'the working dead'. We are human beings after all and the stress and mental fatigue that build up with constant OT should not be taken lightly. 'Death from overwork' is real - after clocking in more than 100 hours of overtime in a month, Matsuri Takahashi killed herself at the age of 24, and hers is not the only case in Japan that have been ruled 'death from overwork'. I'm thankful that the situation in Singapore isn't as drastic, but I also hope we never have to see that headline on local news.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A MYTH

Many of us today believe that work-life balance is simply not possible. “No such thing one lah!” We say. On the other hand, I have friends in countries like Australia, who tell me how they are blessed with employers who encourage them to leave work on time. One of them even shared that her employer had told her to go home two hours early because she had finished what she had to do for the day. Holler at me if you find an employer who would do that in Singapore. Working hours were made to be 8 hours for a reason. Whether it's to make sure people don't go insane from work or whatsoever, there's no need to stay back in the office unless we really need to - like to complete urgent projects or client deadlines that we die-die have to finish. Remember that at the end of the day, we work to earn a living, but is it worth it to be only living for work? It’s cool if you want to be a Jason. If you're done with work, go forth and leave the damn office when the clock strikes six. And if your bosses don't seem to comprehend the concept of productivity and that you are human, you can decide if you're paid enough to sell your life to work. And if you’re someone who likes to take a lot of breaks during the day because you just work better at night, that’s great too. Just, maybe, refrain from being condescending to those who leave on time. *Name has been changed to prevent the individual from losing his job. Also read: “It’s Just My Job” – Not All Insurance Agents Are Annoying Assholes

More colloquially known as Ah Beng Handphone Shops, neighbourhood handphone shops have been around for as long as I can remember. Many of us see such shops as dodgy and shady, with some going so far as to say that these shops are “just money laundering fronts.” It doesn’t help that these shops are usually run by seemingly twenty-to-forty-plus-year-old guys who would speak a brusque mix of Mandarin, dialect, and English. Together with their tough demeanor and the loud music that you can find blaring from some of such shops further alludes that of an ah beng. Gradually, the impression that these shops are Ah Beng Handphone Shops stuck, even though not all of such shops are run by ah bengs.  But after all these years and in a time where even big names like HMV and Kinokuniya have closed down amidst the retail doom, these small Ah Beng Handphone Shops are surprisingly still surviving. This is also despite the advent of e-commerce, Carousell, and Facebook live auctions. For the purpose of brevity in this article, I will be referring to such shops as Ah Beng Shops hereon. With many unanswered questions like how these Ah Beng Shops are still around and how they actually do business, I decided to take a trip to one of the older neighbourhoods, Bedok Central, to search for them.

Ah Beng Shops’ Ah Bengs Don’t Look That Ah Beng

Many of us have the impression that the people running Ah Beng Shops are ah bengs. When I left office for Bedok, I had even told my colleagues that I was going to make new ah beng friends from Ah Beng Shops. “Good luck, have fun,” they said. Of the 15 to 20 Ah Beng Shops I walked past, only three of the shop staff looked a little like ah bengs. And only one shop exuded the ‘ah beng vibe’: blasting music so loudly that it could be heard from a few shops down, and a strong smell of cigarette smoke emanating from the shop. Even so, the staff of that shop looked like an ordinary teenage boy - no gold hair, piercings, or tattoos like what you would expect of a typical ah beng. In fact, more than half the shops I saw were either run by uncles who look like those you’d catch stirring kopi while watching TV at kopitiams at midday, or average young men who look like they were just working a part-time job to earn some money.

Some of the Ah Beng Shops were an amusing sight as they were not so much a shop as they were a single counter awkwardly placed at a corner of another retail shop peddling completely unrelated items - imagine an uncle at a small mobile phone counter at the corner of a hair accessories shop. Bizarre. After being shooed away by five Ah Beng Shops to “try the other shops”, and told by one that “here nobody will want to talk one lah, what to talk? Do business only, nothing to talk about,” I was thankful to finally chat with Leon*.

Venturing Into The Ah Beng Shop Industry

I first stepped into Leon’s shop with dread for he looked like a middle-aged ah beng who would spout an uncouth mix of Hokkien and Mandarin, and I panicked at having to express myself with my atrocious grasp of Mandarin. The other half of me was worried that he will bite my head off for poking into his business. However, my perception of him totally changed as our conversation started, making me guilty for putting such a stereotype on him before I even spoke to him. Not only could he speak in fluent English, he expressed himself well. It was evident that Leon was neither illiterate nor an ah beng. As I came to know later on, he is in fact a graduate from a local university. For 40-year-old Leon, venturing into this trade wasn’t a choice as much as it was a fight for survival. Previously a branch manager at a bank, Leon had to do a drastic midlife career change after getting embroiled in a bad case of office politics, leaving him no choice but to leave the banking industry for good. Having spent 10 years in the banking industry and well into his thirties, switching to a completely new industry was not only a scary thought, it was problematic. Many of the routes he considered, like going into F&B, would require him to start from the bottom again - something he cannot afford as a father who has to support his daughter and his aging parents. With the help of friends dealing with mobile phones, he settled on opening an Ah Beng Shop together with a business partner. Even then, he had to learn the ropes of the trade by himself, spoiling many phones and paying many ‘school fees’ in the process.

Fighting For A Slice Of Pie

While there are Ah Beng Shop bosses who could diversify with multiple shops across the island to capitalise from different groups of customers like Seedly wrote about in an article, Leon only has one physical store. Having counted more than 15 Ah Beng Shops in the vicinity, I wondered how Leon even survives amidst such extreme competition. “Actually, there are more than 20 shops here,” he corrected me nonchalantly, “it’s very competitive, so we just have to find more channels of revenue online.” Although Leon doesn’t have multiple shop fronts, he operates his business over online platforms like Carousell and Qoo10. He also travels around to collect mobile phones from other shops around Singapore for repair, which his staff and himself would stay up until past midnight to complete.

“It’s not possible to survive just by sitting in the shop and waiting for customers to walk in. We have to reach customers from as many avenues as possible.” True enough, the 45 minutes that I was there, only two people stopped by: a migrant worker who asked if the shop takes in a certain model of mobile phone, and a little girl who was just wandering around. None culminated in any sales. Leon’s sentiments of having to find more ways to make money was echoed by Chan*, the boss of another Ah Beng Shop I managed to speak with. Having spent more than 20 years in this line ever since he came out of NS, Chan emphasised the importance of going online to reach more audience because the market is way more competitive today. Even with his online foray, Chan still has to make at least a few hundred dollars daily in the shop to maintain overheads and profit. “Because of the current online market, customers have a lot more options and are smarter, so it’s not just important to go online but also to provide good service.” Like Leon, Chan runs one physical store with a business partner and sells their business services on multiple online platforms. Explaining further on providing good service, “it’s very hard to profit from just selling items today. You can sell something at a thousand dollars but only earn $10.” Instead of employing aggressive sales techniques or trying to be the cheapest, Chan prides himself in simple, honest service and leaves it to customers to decide. Despite the odds, Chan’s business never ran into a deficit, which he attributes to his loyal customers.

Leon, however, isn’t as fortunate with his business finances. On good days, Leon’s shop makes a four-figure sum, “a middle-tier office worker’s salary,” but these days, one good day is usually followed by three bad days. And on bad days, they would literally have $0 revenue. With rental and staff salary, that means making a loss. Many times, Leon even had to fork money out from his own pocket just to keep the business afloat, but “you gotta do what you gotta do. I’ve got a wife, a daughter, what else can I do if I don’t make this work?” His expressions tell of someone who is jaded, yet hopeful for better days ahead.

The Shame That Comes With The Ah Beng Label

Having runned this business for close to six years, I asked how Leon felt about being labelled an ah beng merely because he ran an Ah Beng Shop. “Like that lor, if people want to think of us that way, what can I do about it?” However, when I probed further about his family, his reaction was a different one altogether. “My mum would say things like ‘waste money send you to university, then now you come out and do this kind of things’, ‘so shameful’, and that I’m a disgrace.” As Leon shared about the hurtful judgment from his own mother, I couldn’t help but notice his quivering lips when he paused to find the right words, as if holding back some repressed emotions. Leon’s wife works an office job and would always encourage him to join her at company gatherings, but having seen the reactions people would give whenever he reveals what he works as, he would choose to avoid such social gatherings because “I don’t want to embarrass or make things awkward for my wife.” Leon gets such judgment from other parents when he picks his daughter up from school as well.  “When I tell (the other parents) that I sell handphones for a living, they will look at me like this.” Leon proceeded to stare at me with wide-opened eyes and raised eyebrows - a puzzled look that is best expressed with the words 'What?' and ‘Why?’. Confirming my suspicions that such negative judgement from people gets to him, Leon bemoaned about the lack of respect for people in his trade. Having to serve many ridiculous customer requests throughout the years ranging from requests to stick on customers’ screen protector for free to being maligned for spoiling a phone after teaching someone how to upload a photo on Facebook, Leon explained that their tough, no-nonsense personality came about because of such customers. “Then if we don’t agree to these requests, customers will say ‘your service sucks’.”

Then, there are the shrewd customers who like to compare prices to what they can get online from websites like Taobao. To which Leon will reason, “Are you going to go to a restaurant and ask them why their dishes are so expensive when the ingredients are sold at a much cheaper price at the supermarket?” While Leon lamented that people tend to treat them like nothing and only look for them when their services are needed, he said that appreciative customers make the struggle worthwhile. And as much as I would have loved to justify that Singaporeans aren’t that terrible, I had to agree that his is of a job so undervalued and underappreciated. Yet, whenever we want a quick fix for our phone or wish to sell our used phones away, many Singaporeans still look to them for getting these done. A job that many people look down on, and one where no Singaporeans want to take on anymore. In fact, both Leon and Chan have to resort to hiring only foreigners, because it is almost impossible for them to find any locals willing to work in this line. Moreover, working in retail also means long hours and burning away weekends. Even as a boss, Leon dedicates every day of the week to his shop so that he can earn enough. “I hardly have time for my daughter. I wish I got more time to spend with her, but what to do? I need to support my family.” As I understood more about the hardship Leon and the other Ah Beng Shop bosses or staff face in such a diminishing trade, I started to have a new-found respect for them. After all, ah beng, uncle, or ah boy, these people are but retail workers who are there running a legit business to provide convenience to anyone who need quick mobile phone solutions. * Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals. Also read: The Blue Tax? The True Cost Of Being A Man In Singapore. (Header Image Credit: Mobile Square)

The LGBT movement in Singapore has come a long way. But no matter how far we’ve progressed, there seems to be a brick wall limiting how far more the movement can go. Pink Dot has been painting Hong Lim Park with the colours of Gay Pride every year since 2009. More people are coming out with the help of advocates and media platforms that share their stories, like Dear Straight People. Despite the increase in visibility and conversations surrounding LGBT today, however, there’s still no real change. We are stuck in a time where our society seem to be generally more progressive, but our constitution remains traditional, with many ‘LGBT things’ that are still illegal in the eyes of the law.

LGBT People Are Criminals?

While LGBT people can live normally among us without having to worry that they will be stoned to death if they were to walk down the street hand-in-hand, they still lack many of the legal rights that non-LGBT people have. Same-sex relationships are not recognised under the law and it’s evident in many areas from not being able to be legally married (Section 12 of the Women’s Charter) and having kids to issues with housing and assets distribution after death. In 2017, a couple lost their BTO because their marriage was voided. and all because the man went for a sex change, rendering their same-sex marriage invalid.  I personally know a gay man who had to go through the trouble of flying overseas, paying six-digit sums for assisted reproduction, marrying the surrogate mother then divorcing her, just so that he could be legally recognised as the father to his biological children. Such are the lengths that LGBT people have to go to for something that is so normal for non-LGBT people. Then, there’s the much-contested Section 377A of Singapore's Penal Code, which prohibits two men from having sex with each other, even if it’s done in private. Although this law hasn’t been actively enforced, with only nine people convicted under this provision between 2007 and 2013.

In case you’re aren’t aware yet, the Penal Code used to criminalise “carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals" under Section 377. It was tabled for repeal during the the 2007 Penal Code Review, but not Section 377A. Nominated Member of Parliament Siew Kum Hong presented a petition for the repeal of Section 377A but the Parliament opted to keep Section 377A, which criminalises male homosexual conduct specifically. <a href=" explained, “public morality does not target female homosexual conduct in the same way as it targets male homosexual conduct.” Also, “female homosexual conduct is either less prevalent or is seen as being less repugnant than male homosexual.” In other words, the authorities have opted to keep it illegal for men to have sex with each other (but not women) because they felt that Singaporeans weren’t ready to completely accept homosexual behaviour, particularly homosexuality between men, and that the society is more unaccepting of gays compared to lesbians. To be awfully honest, I agree with that notion.

Are We Really Ready?

Singapore doesn’t seem to be ready to accept the LGBT movement and community. Look at the controversy surrounding Cathay Cineleisure’s advertisement of Pink Dot 2017. Someone had complained about the advertisement and its “supporting the freedom to love” tagline because to them, that goes against family values. That complaint had led the authorities to call for Cathay to remove the tagline but Cathay stood firm with their decision to run the ad in the end, and I applaud them for standing up against such complaints and the authorities. It isn’t easy for big names or brands like Cathay to stand for a cause so controversial in Singapore’s society. In a society where discrimination lies even within certain laws, and where LGBT messages are still frowned upon by older generations and discussed in hushed exchanges among the more conservative. Another good example of why it’s hard for renowned brands or names to stand up for the cause is when popular local influencer, Hirzi, became an ambassador for Pink Dot 2017. Hirzi came under fire for standing for the LGBT movement for a myriad of reasons, mainly for going against his religion, Islam. In numerous interviews, he shared about how he had lost friends, been spat on his face, and been told not to associate himself with brands he was working for, after he became a Pink Dot ambassador.

“Brands have literally said, “We know it’s fashion week, and we already approved you guys already, wearing the outfits, but can you don’t tag us because we are a heterosexual brand.” Quote taken from Studio AC’s interview with Hirzi

In the Studio AC video interview, Hirzi also shared a case where a friend of his was discriminated against because of her sexuality. Someone had wanted to hire her dance crew to perform at an event but had requested for her to not be part of the performance, just because she’s a transsexual. It is pretty clear that the brand or event organiser was concerned about having a trans as part of the event or performance; That they felt that having a trans on their stage was too much of a negative association to have with their brand or event. And that shows exactly how closed-minded our society still is. The organiser may have done that to prevent possible complaints from event attendees. But that is the problem.

Don’t leave it to political leaders to lift the weight

The authorities are waiting to see if Singapore and Singaporeans are ready for such ‘radical’ change. But brands and Singaporeans aren’t stepping up to stand for the LGBT movement because the law doesn’t favour the movement. It’s a vicious cycle. We need to break that cycle. Every coming out story in the media and every brand representation in support of the LGBT movement add up. Brands and opinion leaders need to pave the way for more open conversations. It can be hard to start, but all it takes is one party to create the ripple effect. It could be as simple as showcasing portraits of LGBT people, which is exactly what internationally renowned photographer Leslie Kee did. The Out In Singapore project, which culminated in an exhibition that opened yesterday, features 150 portraits of the “diverse faces of the local lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community and humanise what it means to be LGBTQ.”

By shedding a gentle spotlight on these LGBT individuals, the project was a way to create conversations and normalise LGBTQ. For some of the individuals, it was even a chance for them to come out. As a non-LGBT millennial who grew up in a 100% heterosexual family (including extended family), we never outrightly talked about anything LGBT. However, it is an unspoken understanding that being LGBT ‘is not the way to go’ to my parents and their generation. I see it from the way they joke about gays and hear it from their derogatory tone when discussing LGBT topics. There’s still a stigma surrounding this movement in the older generations and it is a longstanding battle. But it’s a battle that our generation, who are more receptive of the LGBT movement, have to help fight. If we continue to be accepting but apathetic, there will never be progress. As such, more has to be done to also help our society to be more open-minded and receptive. Covering your child’s eyes or telling them not to become like ‘those LGBT people’ when they grow up isn’t going to help. We need to be more open-minded as to being able to separate religion and sexuality. Some religions have strict beliefs in sexuality, and that’s completely fine. But just as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, we should learn to agree to disagree. We need to be more willing to listen. Take notes from these Christians who went to a pride parade to apologise for the way they or fellow Christians have been treating the LGBT community. Also, as Hirzi shared in the interview with Studio AC, standing for a cause is a completely different narrative from the person you are. If I were to pledge my support to the handicapped, it doesn’t mean that I am handicapped. Nor does it mean that I am promoting the handicapped. It merely means that I empathise with the handicapped people and am showing that I accept and embrace them as part of our society. Also read, My Sexuality, My Right: “A Stranger Wanted Me To Apologise For My ‘Lesbian Appearance'”. (Header Image Credit: Calvin IG@calvinavigator via Pink Dot 2017) *Article Revised: We have corrected some of the facts that the writer has inaccurately presented on certain sections of the Penal Code. We are sorry for the mistake.

Growing up, us millennials have been labelled many things, reckless, fortunate, social media slaves and even avocado toast connoisseur, but I draw the line at phrases such as nonchalant, carefree and entitled. From worrying about the ever-rising cost of living to striving for a more #woke and inclusive society, we have a lot more on our plates than just romance related problems and Instagram-spawned rainbow food. Determined to dispute the reputation that millennials have ‘earned’, I’ve decided to ask 15 millennials what their greatest fear are. And no, FOMO isn’t on the list.

1. Not having enough money

My greatest fear is not having enough money to support myself. Without money, I wouldn’t be able to afford basic necessities like food and water. Even public transport will be inaccessible for me. Plus, I don’t like to rely on other people. If I have no money, I’ll have to go around borrowing money from others and I personally hate doing so. - Melissa, 27

2. Not living up to expectations

Since young, many people have told me that they see a lot of potential in me. Be it doctor, lawyer, or a successful businessman, they are convinced that I’m going to do great things. Because of that, I’m always fearful that I’m not going to reach that level of potential that they’ve set out for me. Thus, I always push myself to work hard everyday so that I’ll be able to match up to their expectations of me. - Daniel, 26

3. Settling for an unfulfilled life

In Singapore, a lot of emphasis is placed on financial success. My parents want me to have a corporate job so that I’ll be financially stable, but that’s not where my passion lies. So I made a promise to myself to ‘sell out’ and settle for something else instead of chasing after my passion. - Edirina, 20

4. Losing my loved ones

As a mother of two, family means a great deal to me. I had my first child when I was just 19 and it has taught me so much about love, patience, family and compromise. I’m really grateful for my parents, my husband, and my two little girls. I can’t imagine life without any of my loved ones. - Esther, 26

5. Getting kicked out of home for coming out

As with most asian families, my mom is conservative and fierce (aka tiger mom). As much as I love her and am thankful for her bringing me up all these years, I’m afraid of coming out to my family as I don’t want to risk getting kicked out. I’m not sure that their love for me will be able to overpower the disdain they have towards more liberal ideas. - Scott, 25

6. Self-imposed Inadequacy

My parents are super chill and they let me do whatever I deem fit. Because of that, I’ve always had really high expectations of myself as I feel that if I don’t take control of my own life, no one will. Further fueled by my own insecurities, the thought of being inadequate in any sense, be it at work or life in general, just doesn’t sit well with me. - Zul, 24

7. Being judged

Back in primary school, I was always afraid of getting called to answer a question in class as I was afraid that if I get the answer wrong, people would laugh at me and make nasty comments about me behind my back. I would get anxious easily and sometimes, that stops me from doing the things that I like. Because of my anxiety, I would always be afraid that people are judging me, even if they aren’t. - Anna, 25

8. Not going to heaven

Whether you’re religious or not, I’m pretty sure that you know what Hell is about: basically, a lifetime of torture. I wouldn’t want to end up going to Hell because I don’t want to suffer and be tortured for the rest of my life. I can’t even handle life, how am I supposed to handle Hell?! In my religion, we believe that Heaven is a really great place to be at. So I want to end up there when I die and just enjoy. - Matthew, 21

9. Losing my arms

I’m a designer and an avid gymmer so my physical body parts mean alot to me. Thus, I would say that my greatest fear is losing my arms as that will mean that I can’t do the things that I like anymore. I can’t imagine living life without designing, drawing, painting, and weightlifting. - Jan, 26

10. Death

I fear death as it means that the whole world will continue to go on without me after I’ve passed and I’ll be non-existent and slowly forgotten. I also fear the unknown. None of us truly knows what is going to happen after we’re dead, and that scares me. - Shi Ling, 27

11. Dying alone

I’m a romantic. I believe in ‘The One’ and I yearn to meet someone whom I’m able to connect with on all wavelengths. So I’d say my greatest fear is not being able to find someone that can stimulate me both intellectually and emotionally and I’ll die alone, with nobody to love and no one to love me back. - Mabel, 22

12. Never being able to love myself

As a child, I was overweight and ugly. I would get picked on by my peers and my parents would make insensitive comments about my appearance. I wasn’t taught how to love myself and I grew to be my own worst critic. Till now, I struggle with low self-love and I can’t seem to be comfortable in my own skin. I guess my greatest fear would be that I will never be able to learn to love myself for who I am till the day I die. - Alethea, 21

13. Losing control of myself

Not having control over my own life and decisions, be it consciously or physically. Maybe I’ve been watching too much ‘Black Mirror’ but I imagine not being able to control my own thoughts or actions and that’s so scary! - Alanna, 22

14. Being the same as everyone else

As I grew up in a family where sibling rivalry is ever present, I always pride myself in being different from my sister so that my parents wouldn’t compare us as much. I think that led me to always strive to be different from everyone else. - Melodie, 20

15. Not being able to make it

It’s very competitive in the Arts industry so I’m always pushing myself to learn more and create things that are fresh and unique. I really want to be an Artist and I can’t foresee myself doing anything else, so my greatest fear would be not succeeding in the field that I’m passionate about. - Karen, 20

Not Just Young And Nonchalent

After speaking with these millennials, I realised that many of us have very practical concerns. Most of us just tend to keep our concerns to ourselves as we’re afraid that our worries will be deemed insignificant because of our young age. But that shouldn’t matter. Be it age 18 or 35, we’ve all got our own set of worries and problems that we have to deal with. We might be young and throwing around phrases like YOLO and ‘live fast, die young’ but our worries don’t just consist the common irrational fears and superficial wants, many of them stemmed from our upbringing and culture. So here’s the age-old question I’m throwing back at you, what’s your greatest fear and how do you deal with it? Share with us in the comments below! Also read, 8 Singaporeans Shared Snapshots Of What Depression Was Like For Them.

The only wild cats one should be patting are the strays roaming our HDB blocks in Singapore. Definitely not the big cats at wildlife parks. But one tourist decided it was a good idea to reach out of his safari vehicle to pat a lion, proving once again the stupidity of mankind.

The tourist was lucky enough to have left unharmed because the lion was – I presume from David Attenborough’s narration on the many wildlife documentaries I’ve watch – not in the mood to hunt. The lion "would have the power to pull that tourist straight out of that window and kill him instantly in front of his friends, " South African safari ranger Naas Smit said to British Newspaper The Sun. One would think that the many safari park incidents and deaths that have happened would deter anyone else from making the same mistake of leaving the safety of their vehicle, even if it's just sticking their hand out the window. Apparently, human evolution hasn’t progressed for the better. I’m not even going to get started on all those people who fell to their deaths from taking selfies or other freak accidents (like accidentally locking your children in a car for hours). At this point, I’ve gone from feeling sorry for the victims and the family to feeling exasperated at such illogical behaviour by my own species and being convinced that this is just natural selection in action. What’s worse is when people glamourise playing with danger, like parkour artists that scale tall buildings and pose precariously for the ‘gram. Or <a href=" man who teased an alligator with a fish while in a blow-up T-Rex costume.

He may be a park ranger and the alligator a well-trained reptile but that’s far from the point. It also doesn’t matter that the park ranger was “making (the alligator) 'work for his food' because he had gotten 'chunky'”. The stunt may have been well-intentioned but brushing it away as something that’s not a big deal sets a dangerous precedence of such behaviour as acceptable and entertaining. And the park ranger succeeding in the stunt without getting attacked may convince other untrained daredevils to attempt such risky acts themselves. What more, these creatures still have innate animal instincts. Even with experienced trainers and presumably well-trained animals familiar with human interaction, accidents could happen. How many victims must die before people learn to not 'play play' when dealing with animals? SeaWorld’s orca Tilikum and his trainer was one prominent case in 2017. Another horrific incident involved a Thai zookeeper who placed his head inside a crocodile’s mouth during a live crocodile show, only to have the crocodile snap its jaws shut on his head.

Are all these really worth it in the name of entertainment? Then, there are those who implicate others because of their own recklessness. Take a fairly recent incident at a Safari Park in Netherlands for example. A family of what looks like three adults and two children left their car to get a closer look at the cheetahs. Another visitor in a nearby car captured the footage of them running away from the coalition of cheetahs when the cheetahs started stalking them. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

My heart raced when I saw the cheetahs bounding towards the child – ‘that’s it, bye bye,’ I thought. What followed was anger. I was mad at the parents for letting curiosity get the better of them and for even considering putting their children’s lives on the line. One pounce and their baby could be gone, just like that. Then again, they probably hadn’t fathomed that grim possibility, considering that they had let their children walk around amidst the cheetahs like they were at a city park.

Let's not forget <a href=" incident, who was killed to ensure the safety of a boy, all because one mother got distracted. <a href=" family at an animal park in Beijing wasn’t as fortunate. In 2016, a woman was attacked by a tiger when she left the car after an argument with her husband. She survived with serious injuries, but her mum died trying to save her. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

As much as I sympathise with the victims and their family, such acts are stupid and incredibly selfish. At the core of it, many of the victims were risking everything just to experience the thrill of getting up close with such predatory animals. Not only do the victim or their family suffer, these acts affect the animals, the respective zoo or park and its staff. If there is one thing I learnt from Jurassic Park, it’s that you don’t want to mess with creatures that are faster, stronger, or which are naturally deadlier than you are, especially when you’re in a confined area with them. Some rules are designed to keep you safe, not to be broken. I have nothing against these safari parks of course. I love animals and am all for the conservation and education efforts. But if humans are not capable of following simple instructions or having basic survival instincts, maybe we shouldn’t have such potentially-fatal leisure activities. With common sense apparently not common enough in our kind, perhaps what we need are terrifying videos of all those past incidents to be played to visitors as part of the safety briefing. And if that still doesn’t work, maybe people need to be forcefully locked in their car, in some sort of advanced safari vehicle that has locks that can only be remotely controlled by park rangers. With technology and driverless cars today, why not, right? Or maybe, we should just let natural selection take its course. Also read, Just Because You’re A Millennial Doesn’t Mean You’re Immune To Fake News. (Header Image Credit: Out Of Africa Wildlife Park)

As a twenty-year-old who is still trying to figure out one’s self, personal identity is of great significance to me. So much so that if you were to offer me $10,000 to be stripped of my freedom to dress however I like and hold my own opinions, I would still opt to be broke and conferring with my friends over a drink or two. No doubt, growing up in an age when phrases like YOLO and Carpe Diem make up our life mantra, there is an immense pressure placed on us to be exceptional. As a result, throughout my formative years, I was exhausting tubs of Directions Hair Colour, frequenting gigs, writing Lang Leav-esque poetry and purchasing merchandise from my favourite bands to emphasise and showcase my individuality. I held the belief that if I don’t have an original identity that stands out from the rest, I’m just another one of many average beings who’s mediocre at best. However, as much as I strive to be a unique individual, I’ve realised that there have been aspects of me that were influenced by the things I consume. The tattoos that I have etched on my skin are inspired by a Roman à clef book and a song from one of my favourite bands. My then blue hair was a result of worshipping at the altar of emo vocalists such as Hayley Williams and Alex Gaskarth. My style, too, changes on a day-to-day basis depending on who’s my latest style inspiration. Whether we dare to admit it, we are all just a compilation of everything we’ve ever fixated on – it could be someone’s hair colour on Instagram, an opinionated piece from the deep web, a TV series or even a character from a book. Take my colleagues for instance. As fans of the police-centred sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I find that many of them adopt the main lead Jake Peralta’s way of dealing with awkward situations, which is the repetitive use of the word “cool” or “no doubt” while nodding with a plastered smile. They identify with the TV series so much that the character’s quirks get incorporated into their personal identity. The same goes for K-Pop fans, film geeks, fitness enthusiasts and so forth. After all, parts of our identity can be ascribed to our environment and the content we consume. No one’s identity is free from influence or cultivation. Our environment, upbringing, beliefs and experiences all play a part in creating our identity. Once upon a time, my friends and I taped up our webcams as a precautionary measure after watching an episode of Black Mirror where the lead character was blackmailed with footage that was obtained after his webcam got hacked. Turns out, almost everyone who watched that episode did the exact same thing. The fact is you’re not going to be the only one who feels, think or act a certain way. Even so, we try excruciatingly hard to be unique. We’d willingly trade our $1.60 Kopi bing for $6 Iced Coconut Latte (read: hipsters) and ditch our mama shop flip-flops for Gucci sliders (read: hypebeasts) because we’d much rather disappear off the face of the earth than to be seen as an average individual. Hell, we’d even force-feed ourselves the lovechild of McMuffin and Hotcakes just to ride on the McGriddles hype train and be seen as a #foodie. I once knew someone, let’s call him Ben, who embodied the average joe stereotype with his H&M clothes, Kopitiam card and his overplayed Top 30 radio hits playlist. Ben was fine with that, that is until the girl he’s interested in commented that he’s too “basic” for her liking. Hurt, he did a 180 and began to splurge on the latest clothes and sneakers and he replaced his mainstream playlist with hip-hop, trance, and underground R&B tunes. Now, his former average joe self-seems like a distant memory, but I can’t help but think that in a way, he fell victim to society’s idealistic belief of us having to be a special individual to make the most out of life.   As much as we’d want to be seen as an original, there’s a fine line between rebelling against the masses for what you stand for and deviating from the norm just because you want to be different from the rest. It’s important that we do not do the latter and end up like another Ben. It is also unrealistic for us to aspire to be known as the only Priscilla aka Pop Punk Girl With Unorthodox Views or the only Marc aka The Musically Inclined Athlete because there’s bound to be someone out there who’s an exact copy of you. Even our names, an integral part of our identity, are shared with strangers all over the world. To call yourself a 100% unique individual would be trying to convince yourself that the moon is really following you. So, don’t exhaust yourself in a bid to be known as an original. If you don’t feel the need to replace your entire wardrobe every new year or if you love your mainstream Top 30 songs because that’s just how you roll, then so be it. It’s your life and you should own it, regardless of what society expects of you. Also read, The Ugly Truth: Not Everyone Is Beautiful.