“I can’t wait to grow up!” "Why can't I skip this whole part and just be an adult!" Oh no, there is no fast forward button in this thing we call life. I don’t know about you, but growing into adulthood was one hell of a journey for me. When you grow up, you grow out of who you used to be, and sometimes, you grow apart from the people you used to be close with. The girls in class you used to be #bffs with, that one special person you shared a special romance with. You went everywhere, did everything together. You guys were inseparable. Like a ‘buy 1 free 1’ package deal; like an egg to an otherwise kosong prata. They were forever to you--were. The hard truth is, sometimes, forever is but a spoken word.

Why You Need To Let It Go

When the truth hits you right in the face, it sucks. But do you let it bog you down, or do you just forget it and enjoy the ride? I once had a best friend who broke up with her partner because of how mentally abusive the relationship got. He moved on to the next girl fairly quickly, but she just couldn’t. As someone who cared a lot about her, it was heartbreaking to see her resorting to hanging around his house, hoping just to catch a glimpse of him. It was even more painful to see her putting herself down, comparing herself to his new girl. It definitely didn’t help that she denied being hung up on him – which brings me to my next point.

Be Honest With Yourself

Are YOU happy? If your answer is not a straight out, 100% yes, then you need to think about why this isn’t so. Maybe you really loved the person and you truly believe you won't find another like them. Maybe you feel like you lost a part of yourself that you can never find back. Maybe you envisioned a perfect future that included them and now that they're gone, you can't imagine any other kind of future. Maybe you feel like you just aren't good enough for anyone or anything. If you relate to any of this, or if you're going through these crappy emotions you wish you didn't have to go through, you are certainly not alone. Acknowledge your feelings and know that what you feel is okay. I've gone through these emotions myself, and so have many, many others. The sleepless nights, the tears you shed behind bathroom doors, the “Oh, I’m just tired” you say to people, pretending everything is okay, the fear you have of never finding someone else like them, the difficulty of trusting people again, the flashbacks you get whenever you see, hear, taste, or smell anything remotely associated with them. It’s painful, and it sucks.

Deal With It

So... What can you do about it? Here’s a blunt but handy flowchart which really helped me through my own tough times.

Granted, it doesn't give you any specific instructions on how to let go, but that's the thing: there isn't a clear-cut way to deal with your emotions. There isn’t a step-by-step cheat sheet to teach you how to let go and move on.

The only thing you can do is either A – decide to do something about it, or B – STFU and move on. Don’t complain. Don’t live your life in despair. Don’t live in denial. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. At the end of the day, what are you going to do for yourself?

Do Something For Yourself

Ironically enough, when I stopped giving a shit, when I stopped replaying in my head all the times I had to let go of the many treasured friendships and relationships I've had, life became a lot less shitty. I started doing things for myself. I went on shopping sprees. I ran. I made an effort to take up dance classes again. I caught up with old friends. I appreciated my family. I splurged to explore the world. Heck, I even resorted to Tinder to curb my loneliness. I decided to let go, to let loose. I decided to make my sunshine in the storm. I made a conscious effort to be happy, and it worked.

Perspective Changes Everything

Letting go of someone can be hard, but it is only as hard as you make it out to be. Dig deep and find yourself. Only then will you know how to let go and be happy. After all, no one knows you better than you. Nothing new is going to magically appear in the fridge if you don’t put something into it. Nothing will change if you’re not going to do anything about it. So get out there and do something--anything! Channel your emotions into things that will benefit you. Do some exercise, clean up your room, take up a new hobby, do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never got the chance to because of whatever reasons. It could be the most liberating, most empowering thing, and it could be the very thing you need. Let go of things that are not meant for you, because what is meant to be, will be.

When you're in love, everything is beautiful. Even the weirdest habits and tiniest idiosyncrasies seem cute to you – the way they snort every time they laugh, the hair growing awkwardly out of one of their moles... Heck, even a deathly fart from them can make you laugh. That said, what keeps a relationship alive is the actions partners do for each other to keep that fire burning. We asked 15 millennials about the sweetest thing(s) their partners have done for them. Here are their stories.

1. "He was my glorified hair band"

I was really sick one day and he came over to make me feel better. Really sick like stomach flu, fever, diarrhoea, vomiting – the whole enchilada. It took him about 40 minutes to drive all the way from Bukit Batok to Pasir Ris just to be my glorified hair band, holding my hair and rubbing my back while I threw up. And the thing is, this happened at 4am in the morning! At the time, I didn't want him seeing me in the state I was in – the pathetic whimpering, the contents of my vomit and all. But he said even if he didn't see me at my worse then, he would in the future. He even cracked a joke, saying we must buy a flat that's not so 'ulu' and with a 24-hr clinic nearby. That night, he was my bed warmer, tucking me in, holding me close and patting me to sleep before bringing me to the clinic in the morning. – Samantha

2. "He walked around to 'test' my balloon"

The other day at i Light Marina Bay, he won me a huge, super cute teddy bear balloon. But it kept deflating, so we thought there was a hole on it somewhere. I got really upset, so he went to exchange it while I waited. It took him so long! Turns out he went to exchange it 5 times! He exchanged it, and then walked around to ‘test’ the balloon. The first four times, the air escaped, and he kept going back to change it because he knew I would be sad if I got a defective balloon. – Nur'Ain

3. "He makes my safety his priority"

He sends me home whenever we go out, regardless of the time and place. We're both working adults with a decreasing supply of energy, so workday dinners are both a sweet and tiring affair. There was once when he was so drained from a full day of work events that he fell asleep standing on the train! I kept telling him to go home, but he stubbornly refused through his sleepy eyes and all. It's a simple gesture, but him sacrificing his precious rest time just to make sure I always get home safe is really sweet. – Melissa

4. "He sings me sweet lullabies"

Ever since the song 'All Of Me' was released in 2013, it has been my favourite jam and I find the lyrics very sweet and meaningful. At the end of our nightly phone calls, he always sings that song to me to lull me to sleep (it works by the way!). I think he may have gotten lazier over time though, because nowadays, he only sings the chorus. But the fact that even after more than 5 years of dating, he still sings me to sleep? I think it's very sweet! – Zaf

5. "She splurged on me"

On Valentine’s Day, she surprised me with a pretty expensive watch. I have a watch I usually wear when I go out, but it was spoilt, so I stopped wearing it. We are both saving up to get married, so I was surprised that she splurged on that watch for me. It’s sweet to me because she makes my needs a priority despite having to save up for our big day. – Julian

6. "She thinks of my family"

She always thinks of me and my family whenever she goes overseas. She brings snacks and bits back for them, even if it’s a short trip. I remember how one time, she bought durians for my parents (I hate durians by the way) because she knew they like eating them. The fact that she has me and my family at the back of her mind when doing things is what makes it very sweet. – Ming Da

7. "She made me a lucky charm"

I was going for an important English exam and she made a good luck charm for me: a handmade paper-craft that could be tied to the key chain I use. She knew I was unprepared and all tensed up, so it was her way of helping calm my nerves. She probably took a whole day to make it, and that's a heartwarming thought. – Vincent

8. "We look good for each other"

When many couples are together for a long time, they tend to get comfortable and stop doing what they used to for each other. However, she’s different. To me, the sweetest thing is that she always dresses up to look pretty whenever we meet. It’s not that she doesn’t look good when she doesn't dress up, it’s more about the effort she consistently puts in. I really appreciate it and I do the same for her – this way, we always look forward to seeing each other. – Lawrence

9. "It's in the little things"

There is no one sweetest thing, but rather many little random acts which are all equally sweet. For example, during dinner, she always puts food on my plate first. And because we have different work schedules, sometimes we may not get to see each other for a few days. But almost every day, she will text to say 'good morning', and this is 6 years plus into our relationship! These little gestures actually do mean a lot, even if they don’t seem like much. – Kelvin

10. "He got the hint"

He surprised me with flowers during Valentine’s Day this year. This is the first time ever, because I told him I didn't like flowers last time, so he never gave any. A month before Valentine’s, I told him that actually flowers are quite nice, just that they will probably die quickly in my hands. So on Valentine's Day, he came to fetch me from my place and there he was, waiting in his car with the flowers and he used Facebook live to capture the moment. – Naomi

11. "She sacrifices her sleep for me"

I work as a photographer for weddings and events and often come home late after shoots. The sweetest thing shes does is cook supper for me, which sometimes is really my dinner. This is in the middle of the night, when she is already about to sleep, and she has to wake up early for work the next morning . – Clement

12. "She still gives me morning calls"

We've been together for more than 4 years, and she still gives me morning calls to wake me up for work. There are times when I have to wake up really early as I shoot weddings, and she'd be my very reliable human alarm clock. She would set her own alarm to wake up at 4am in the morning to call me, just to ensure I don't oversleep and be late for my shoot. This is even when she has her own work commitments from 10am to 11pm that same day. – Ivan

13. "He makes me feel safe"

One night, my sister told me she could feel a ghostly presence in my room. I was so scared I couldn't sleep and I sobbed. That's when my then boyfriend (now husband) called me and asked what he could do to make me feel better. I didn't reply and continued crying, until I heard him strumming on his guitar. He started singing praise and worship songs in an attempt to calm me down. He assured me that God would be there to protect me no matter what and that he would keep on singing until I fell asleep – and that's exactly what he did. – Dorothy

14. "He made me a dream catcher"

One of the sweetest and most thoughtful things my partner has done for me is learn how to weave a dream catcher. I used to have a lot of nightmares and on one of our anniversaries, he made one for me. Hanging the handmade dream catcher above my bed, he told me it was to catch all my bad dreams. Just imagine a man weaving a dream catcher! And this is coming from a man who doesn't even usually do handicraft work. – Patrina

15. "He waited 3 hours for me"

A few years ago, when I was doing my internship, I was suddenly dragged into a last minute meeting that lasted past 9pm. I was supposed to meet my boyfriend at 6pm at a mall nearby for dinner, but I couldn't tell him I was in a meeting because I didn't have my phone on me. When I left, I expected to go home alone but he was standing outside my office waiting this whole time! I was really touched because I was so drained from the long day, and him being there just made everything better. These acts of sweetness mean so much more to me than grand gestures and extravagant gifts. – Venessa While these may not be the grandest of gestures, one thing's for sure: the littlest of actions can brighten up the day of the one you love. What are some of the sweetest things YOUR partners have done? Let us know in the comments! *Some names have been changed for privacy reasons. (Top Image Credit: Douglas Lin)

Over the years, we’ve seen celebrity couples come and go and while celebrity breakups seem to be the norm rather than the exception, there are still a handful of them we can’t seem to get over. Here are 10 Singaporean celebrity couples we always thought were endgame but that just didn’t work out. Pass the popcorn.

1. Rosalyn Lee & Justin Vanderstraaten

This also very good-looking couple were together for 2 years before they tied the knot in Los Angeles–Allan’s hometown–in December 2003. Fast forward 9 years, they have 2 kids, moved to Shanghai, ended their marriage in 2016 and then moved back here to Singapore. The reason for their split remains unknown as the couple would rather keep it private.

4.    Naomi Neo and JianHao Tan

Just as Dee Kosh had predicted, this pair ended things in January this year. Hands down the most dramatic breakup of all time, the two dated since 2015 and over time, their relationship grew abusive—both mentally and physically. Things started to get really blown out of proportion when they took to social media to voice their anger. What ever happened to not airing your dirty laundry in public?

6.    Jaime Teo & Daniel Ong

After 9 years together, former Miss Singapore Universe, Jaime Teo, and ex-radio DJ, Daniel Ong, decided to dissolve their marriage in 2016. They both still work together on their business venture, Twelve Cupcakes, and have a daughter they co-parent. We said goodbye with heavy hearts but are glad they can put their issues aside for their daughter’s sake. Now, that's what you call an amicable split.

7.    Jamie Yeo & Glenn Ong

Dated in 2001, married in 2004, divorced in 2009. For a long time, Glenn bore the brunt of the blame for the breakup, until Jamie revealed in an interview in 2015 that she was the cause of it. Both have since moved on and married other people, but it’s hard for us to forget that these two were once lovebirds.

8.    Vernetta Lopez & Mark Richmond

Here’s a real #tbt – DJs Vernetta Lopez and Mark Richmond were once in love and married. After 9 years together, this power couple annulled their marriage in 2003. Vernetta recently published a book titled ‘Memoirs Of A DJ’, and in it she writes about how Mark cheated on her, as well as the events that followed after. Let’s just say current relationship status? Divorced and pissed off.

9.    Bobby Tonelli & Joanne Peh

Radio DJ Bobby Tonelli and actress Joanne Peh ended their 4 year relationship in 2013. It seemed like a match made in heaven, but as it turns out, Joanne felt they were both on different pages and had different goals in life. Poor Bobby, our hearts are with him.

10. Benjamin Kheng & Sandra Riley Tang

Though they've never spoken publicly about this, something definitely went on and fizzled out between these two in the past. Subtle hints from photos on social media, however, show that the two members of The Sam Willows are no longer together. The flawless pair who got us swooning over their good looks and even better vocals still work together… Awkward much?

Fret Not!

With every one of these breakups, our faith in love has wavered a little and our hearts were left a little more broken than before. Love is a risk and it can be unpredictable—one moment you’re in love, the next, who knows? That’s just the way love works. While we can't make ourselves completely invulnerable to heartbreak, there are actually small ways we can protect ourselves. In time for Valentine’s Day and for hearts potentially breaking all over Singapore on this “special” occasion, Insurance Market has designed a totally unique Broken Heart Insurance to insure against a broken heart. Basically, you insure yourselves in the lead up to Valentine’s Day (from now till 13^th Feb) and on Valentine’s Day itself, in the event of a heartbreak, you file a claim by submitting your heartbreak story. As a small consolation to a really crappy situation, you stand to receive two movie tickets. A sweet and definitely unusual gesture by the new fully online insurance brokerage, Insurance Market. To get insured, head down to their website and get your heart covered for Valentine's Day!

Apply a spark to tinder, and you start a fire. From its name, the dating app Tinder clearly envisions itself as a catalyst of sorts; a tool that facilitates connections and gives relationships that much-needed initial push. But, is that really what it does? Does the digital equivalent of mass speed dating (that somehow manages to be even more superficial) really promote romance, or does it go against the very essence of romantic love? Well, yes and no. It kind of depends on you.

Digitized Disembodiment

“What the hell are you talking about? Tinder isn’t for romance, it’s for hooking up!” Okay, calm down, Kim Kardashian. I’m clearly not talking to you. Believe it or not, a great many people use the app to find love. But are they looking in the right place? The problem with apps like Tinder is that they rely on purely digital representations of the self; disembodied avatars made of carefully curated selfies and strategically scarce profiles providing just the right information in just the right amount. Like the pictures of succulent, mouth-watering burgers on McDonalds posters, digital avatars are often expressly artificial compared to their real-world counterparts, and intended more to entice than to provide an accurate representation. Ever bought a Big Mac and went, “Is that it??” as you stare at that sad mess of bread and cabbage in your hands, struggling to reconcile the reality with that glorious picture on the poster? That’s probably, like, ninety per cent of Tinder dates. Just an estimate, don’t quote me.

Hello, Narcissus

It’s perfectly fine for people to want to look and seem their best on dating profiles, but when using Tinder for finding romance, such behaviour poses a fundamental problem. By focusing on self-representation, Tinder encourages users not to find love with others, but to obsess on a narcissistic love of themselves. Finding love is no longer about being impacted by or willing to change for another person. Love is now about finding someone who satisfies your preconceived notion of the type of partner you want; about finding yourself in someone else. For the Tinder-reliant seeker of love, gone are the days of awkwardly asking a girl or guy out on a date and risking rejection. You simply swipe, wait, and chat, completely free from the risk of rejection. You are given the liberty to swipe hundreds of people, but never put yourself at risk of humiliation when you get shot down. Gone are the days of finding out more about your date after meeting them. You only agree to go out with the person when you’ve decided that your digital interactions and representations of yourselves match well enough to warrant meeting. We fall for digital simulations of others before we ever shake their hands. In place of the trial and error that once defined romance, Tinder provides us with an almost scientific approach to dating. Enter data into an algorithm, wait for someone to match that algorithm, collect preliminary findings, THEN go on a date. The scientist in me wants to approve, but this approach to love can only ever lead to dissatisfaction. As much as we want someone with the same interests, beliefs, and dislikes, scientifically, it’s just not possible. Due to the sheer number of variables, there is almost no way to find the “perfect” partner completely complementary to you. The belief that we can precondition love is a destructive fantasy that leads to people focusing on finding the “right one”, instead of being the right one for someone else. “This girl seems nice. Oh wait, she likes K-pop? NEXT!” Well, maybe you should stop being a judgmental little shit, you swipe-happy monkey.

Don’t blame your tools

As with any other technology, dating apps like Tinder can only be as good or bad as the people who use them. There is nothing in Tinder’s terms of service that states that you have to behave like a narcissistic judgmental prick when you use it. Sure, the format and design of the app lends heavily to and even encourages such behaviour, but the thumbs that touch those screens still belong to you. Tinder can only kill romance if we use it in such a way that allows us to exclude and filter out potential partners who threaten to challenge our precious notion of self. Because love is an experience that persists and flourishes not just in spite of, but because of hardship and differences. So next time you think about swiping that random girl left, think about giving her a chance. She might turn out to be an air-headed bimbo, she might look as much like her picture as a bad Big Mac. Or, she might just surprise you, if you keep an open mind. <a href=" Image Credit

No one can deny that dating has changed dramatically over the past few years. And no one can deny that courting someone has changed dramatically too. With more and more online dating apps, communication has gone from being verbal to being technological. With that, a new wave of dating terms has hit our shores, emerging from the torrential waters we call “love”. It’s time for all of us to brush up on our dating vocabulary because we’re pretty sure these terms are here to stay.

Ghosting

Remember how Batman would always just disappear whenever Detective Jim Gordon talks with his back turned away? And then when Gordon turns back, he realises that he’s been talking to himself? That’s what ghosting is. For those of you who didn’t get the reference, ghosting is the term you’d use when someone completely stops making contact with the person they’ve been seeing, without even telling them they’re no longer interested. This often occurs because people are too scared to officially call it quits. They just, you know, become a ghost.

Slow Fade

This process is similar to ghosting, but is much more drawn out. You start to reply with shorter and shorter texts, and then you start responding at a much slower pace, and finally you just stop replying. Think Batman slowly moonwalking into the darkness, or your favourite song slowly fading into silence. I much prefer the former.

Thirst Trap

That photo that someone posts on social media for the sole purpose of garnering attention. You know that person who constantly posts topless photos of themselves but writes really arbitrary captions like, really craving a mango juice right now - yup, their photos are Thirst Traps.

DTR

Also known as the talk. You know, the so are we like, a thing? talk. DTR is an acronym for ‘defining the relationship.’

Benching

When you’re just not good enough to make first team but exist as a secondary option. Benching occurs when someone you’ve been seeing stops wanting to see you in person but continues to communicate with you over social media. This probably happens when they feel like they have other options to explore and play out first, before committing to you.

Haunting

The ghost is back. But instead of trying to rebuild severed ties, they’ll haunt you by only passively interacting with you- following you on social media and liking your posts.

Catch and Release

This refers to the tactic used by someone who loves the chase a lot more than the endgame. As soon as they’ve caught their target, they end the relationship.

Tuning

When they like you but are too shy to tell you. And so, they end up being unclear and vague in their interactions and texts. Tuning can be sweet, albeit mighty frustrating.

Ship

To ship a relationship means to approve it.

FBO

Now, this is a biggie. Going FBO will solidify any blooming relationship. Short-form for ‘Facebook Official’, this is #relationshipgoals at its peak for many.  In this day and age, nothing legitimizes a relationship like changing your Facebook About section to reflect your not-so-single status. That wraps up this list of new dating lingo. Got any more to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

Over the past 50 years or so, the landscape of love has changed. The way we love,  the places we look for it, and even the meaning of love has changed quite a bit. Now, love has truly become a game, and its rules are ever changing. Don't reply too quickly, it will look desperate! If you're not going to see him again, just make him pay for the meal. Ignore his texts, he'll get the idea. Dating in this day and age involves so many dos and do nots that sometimes, we can't help but wish things were simpler, like in the past. Here are 6 ways love is different now than it was in the past:    

1. Love Interest VS Love Tinderest

The nature of the chase back then was very different. Boy had to physically meet girl before a spark could be ignited. This happened in discos, coffee shops or through mutual connections. To get to know someone, you had to sit down and have a conversation. There was no shortcut. There weren't many things to do or places to go in the past but that was okay--the company of each other was enough. The modern love story, however, is quite different. We live in a Tinderella world where guy swipes right on girl, guy says "dtf?", girl says "sure", guy and girl tango and then never see each other ever again. Okay, maybe not all 21st century love stories go this way, but it's a growing number. Now, with all the dating apps we have on our phones, before we even meet someone in real life, we already know the who's who of their family, what they're interested in and what they had to eat 48 weeks ago. Stalking Research is the new normal when it comes to getting to know someone.

2. Attached VS It's (Very) Complicated

In the past, a guy had his eyes on one girl and he pursued her to the end. Stories of wooing, like, persistent, "she's the only one for me"-type wooing were extremely common  in our grandparents' generation. Men committed and love was a promise to be honored. Nowadays, people are a lot more fickle. The dating pool these days is not so much a pool as it is an ocean thanks to apps like Tinder, and there are just so many fishes in that sea. We're not just single or attached; we could also be in an open relationship, exclusive sex buddies, non-exclusive bed pals... and a whole variety of other things.

3. Private VS Public Displays Of Affection... Online

Before our generation of over-sharing couples who feel the need to share their couple selfies, relationship milestones and everything in between (including their dirty laundry) online, love was a private matter. It wasn't a secret, but it wasn't something you needed to announce to the world through a Facebook status change or bi-monthly couple selfies. The photos you took together were slotted into albums for the enjoyment of you and your closest friends and family. Back then, no one had to know the details. In our current era, if you're in love, it must be public. If it isn't, that's cause for concern because "why are you hiding our relationship?"

4. Let's Make Love VS Let's Netflix and Chill

In the past, sex before marriage was a big no-no--and that applied to both men and women. Men had to wait till the wedding night to de-flower his maiden. People were a lot more conservative about sex back then. Now, both boys and girls talk about sex over brunch like it's nothing. One-night stands are nothing to raise eyebrows about and girls are becoming more sexually empowered--they'll tell you exactly what they want in bed.

5. Breaking Up VS Ghosting

Before, there was a certain code of conduct that was honored when it came to breaking up. If someone wanted to break things off, they turned up and they said "this isn't working." They didn't just disappear. Now, ghosting is a thing. People exit our lives as quickly and as easily as they enter it, with no explanation whatsoever. Also, your break up never ends quietly. When your couple selfies stop showing up, tongues start wagging, and good luck trying to get over your ex. With multiple albums of pictures of both of you online and Facebook's unwelcome reminders of "What happened 3 years ago today", your ex is kept well in sight and, unfortunately, well in mind.  

6. Love = Faithfulness VS Love = Passion

In the past, love was about faithfulness, the conviction to fix things and the resolve to stick together in spite of the odds. Love was about the other person--taking care of them, always considering them and being strong for them. Now, love has become more about passion; passion that can come with pain; passion that sometimes comes at the expense of security and our sanity. We chase highs and we become restless when things start to become familiar. In today's world, we're afraid of becoming bored, and sometimes, that's how true love slips right through our fingers.

In the liberal world we live in today, the already fine line between a platonic friendship and a romantic one can sometimes get even more blurry and indistinct. We all have our doubts at times, about whether friends’ intentions towards each other are truly as innocent as they seem, or if each person's constant seeking of the other’s company indicates something else altogether. Fret not, for there are crystal clear ways to determine if the friendship you have is simply platonic, or if it points to something way more than that.

1. Prolonged eye contact doesn't bother either of you

When you're in a purely platonic friendship, you can hold each other’s gaze for a long time without feeling shy or flustered. Remember the feeling you get when your crush looks you in the eye? Making eye contact with your platonic friend will feel absolutely nothing like that and this should be your biggest cue that what the both of you share is nothing romantic. Perhaps you might accidentally catch each other's eye while doing something mundane, like taking out the rubbish. However, neither of you will quickly look away and the two of you could even jump straight into a staring contest and no sparks will fly.

2. Their safety is not your utmost priority

It's not really your concern whether they get home safely or not, period. If they do, then good for them. If they don't, then well, someone else will be there to pick them up or drive them home. That person is not you and you can safely say that you do not want to be that person. If you receive an SOS call or text from someone in the middle of the night and you jump up in excitement and leave the house at the drop of a hat, that person is someone you want to date. If you receive that same SOS call and you switch your phone to silent mode, that person is probably just a regular friend. You would, however, ring that friend up the next day to check if everything is alright. That's the kind of concern you would show a platonic friend.

3. You don't notice what they wear

You can see each other dressed in sexy, smashing outfits and not bat an eyelid. In fact, you might hardly even notice. Chances are, even if your friend parades around in their birthday suit, your attention will not be diverted from that exciting drama you're binge-watching. If the thought of seeing your friend in the nude or some sexy underwear doesn't turn you on even a bit, it's friendzone time.

4. Distance doesn't matter

Both of you can sit within a centimetre from each other, and not end up making out or having the urge to eat each other’s faces. If your heart doesn't skip a beat when you get up close and personal with your friend, it's one of the biggest telltale signs that there'll be no romance in the air anytime soon for the both of you. Of course, if the both of you are separated by real distance measuring oceans and seas, the ache you feel will not be one of lusty companionship, but from the fact that your life has become more boring without them around.

5. They do not occupy your waking and sleeping thoughts

You're not on each other’s minds first thing in the morning or last thing at night. You do not wake up thinking about what they will wear today or how they will smell. You also do not go to sleep at night fantasizing about your possible future together or the children you will eventually have. Or the house you will share. Or the delicious meals you will whip up together. Instead, you think about them when your partner stands you up. Or when you're in need of an eating buddy. And it probably stops there.

6. You do not have any expectations of them

In your vocabulary bank with friends, the word “expectations” doesn't exist. You do not need to spend a lot of time with each other, although when you do spend time together, it can be a ball of a time. You do not become emotionally needy or overly reliant on them. In other words, you can do with or without them. Not seeing or communicating with each other for one month should not spell the end of the world for either of you.

7.  Jealousy is never in the equation

You don't get mad jealous when you see your friend with a member of the opposite gender. They could be having the time of their lives flirting in front of you, or being touchy-feely with each other. Better still, they could be so engrossed in each other’s company that you completely fade into oblivion. Yet, you don't feel the same constricting sensation in your heart you get when you see your crush dating someone else. You do not feel that stab of jealousy you get when you see the object of your affections so much as look in the direction of someone other than you. When your friend dates someone else or stares lustily at another, you frankly just don’t care.

8. Skinship does not interest you

You don't feel any urges to be physically close to your friend. You do not time your walk down to the second so you end up sitting beside your friend when a group of you go to the movies together. You do not stand as close to your friend as possible, so that your arms will touch. You do not map out your route so that every time you sit down, you are sitting beside your friend. In fact, you actually value your space around them and feeling their touch on your skin or your touch on theirs doesn't interest you one bit. In fact, the thought of it might even put you off breakfast, or lunch, or dinner, or all three meals.

9. Good mornings and goodnights are not on your agenda

You do not say good morning and goodnight to your friend every day without fail. Neither do you want to. Those words are saved for someone you actually want to be intimate with. They connote such a sense of intimacy that even on the rare occasions you do say it to your friend, you wince and cringe. You and your friend talk about other things, more important things, like if the waffles at your favourite store have been sold out.

10. You don’t put them on a pedestal

You look at your friend and you see, well, a human being. You don’t see a goddess, a prince charming or anything to that effect. To you, your friend is just a friend, plain as day. Nothing more, nothing less.

We all have that one friend who's an introvert. The one who doesn't reveal much and shies away from attention. The one who prefers not to say a word and would rather stay by the side, observing everyone else. The mysterious one who exudes an aura of silence so loud it's deafening. Perhaps calling them introverted might be an understatement altogether. Yet, when introverts show affection, they do it with all of their hearts, sometimes even more so than the extroverts. Want to know if you've won the affections of an introvert? Here are some sure-fire ways to tell.

1. They initiate conversations with you

It takes a lot from them, but they do it anyway. If they see you as someone who's worthy of their time, you'll know because introverts initiate very few conversations with very few people. Introverts hate small talk, but if they're willing to engage in them with you from time to time, you know what it means.

2. They care about your feelings

In fact, they not only care, they care a lot. Compared to their extroverted counterparts, they look out for you in their own quiet, subtle way--no fanfare involved. When you're sick, they'll buy you herbal tea and quietly place it somewhere you'll definitely see it. They notice all the things that make you you, and they remember the little things you say. Because introverts don't expend energy going to many different social gatherings, they devote their attention towards you. They sacrifice their precious alone time for you and they do so with nary a complaint. Introverts are some of the most sensitive people around, and if they focus their attention on you, chances are, the whole world is going to know too.

3. They go out of their comfort zones for you

They don't rely on mere words or sweet talk to show you their affections--they use actions to do so. They leave their comfort zones for you, and they do so voluntarily. They may hate crowds and abhor noisy places, but if you so much as hint to them that you're interested, they'd brave all that for you and more. They might even assume the role of an entertainer if the situation calls for it. This willingness to deviate away from their usual selves only goes to show how important you are to them.

4. They let you into their lives

They let you into territory no one else has gone before. They tell you about their dogs, their saddest childhood memories, their deepest regrets, their dreams and aspirations. Most notably, they tell you about their insecurities. They want you by their side and they're not afraid to show it. These are an introvert’s ways of showing trust in a person, and if you actually know all this information about their lives, it's no easy feat and it's also the clearest indication that they genuinely care for and like you.

5. They see you as their other half

They're not going to do anything without first thinking about you. Whether it's an event that's caught their eye, a movie that's just been released, a song they heard or even a quote they saw, you'll be the first thing to pop into their minds. If an introvert likes you, you are indeed one lucky soul.

All couples fight. Healthy couples fight. Unhealthy couples fight. When you bring two different people together, whether into a friendship or a romantic relationship, it's bound to happen. No two people are completely alike in the way they think, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, so disagreements are really just a matter of time. While fights between partners is nothing to raise any eyebrows about, there are good fighting habits and there are bad ones. Good habits make your relationship stronger while bad ones wear down not just the relationship, but both of you as individuals. Here are some good habits you should pick up when it comes to fighting with the one you love.

1. Pick your battles

Before you fight, pause and consider if the issue at hand is even worth fighting about. Just because you're upset doesn't mean there are real issues or principles at stake. None of us are above a little pettiness and we all have bad days when the littlest of things can set us off. So, ask yourself if the issue is worth fighting about. If this were the fight to break you up (it could happen), would it be worth it? Oftentimes, we pick fights over the most trivial of things and it's only when it's too late, when we and our partners are both hurting from the fight when we realize we're fighting over something really stupid. So, pick your battles, and master the art of letting things go to save yourself and your partner from a world of unnecessary pain.

2. Fight the problem, not the person

Bear in mind that when arguing, winning is not the goal--fixing the problem is. In the heat of an argument, we tend to lose sight of what the actual problem is, veering off course and attacking our partners by bringing up the past, throwing out accusations and firing off a whole bunch of hurtful words. Not only does the problem remain unsolved, both sides wind up even more upset than when they started and bruised blacker and bluer for it.

3. Never deal in absolutes

When fighting, watch your language--especially with your usage of the words 'never' and 'always', as in "you're always lying" or "you never support me". These words tend to be used and abused when we fight, and it's especially hurtful because it not only discounts all the times your partner has done right or made the effort to do so, it also has them thinking that's what you think of them, even if those statements aren't true and you only said it in a fit of anger.

4. Listen with an open mind

When fighting, most of us default into thinking we're right. We know why we're upset and the reasons are rock solid. Our game plan going into the fight is to make clear our feelings and our perspectives, and to get our partners to understand our point of view. The thing is our partners probably think the same, and just like us, they're sure their reasons are bulletproof. In my experience, in most situations, both parties have valid reasons for doing what they did. So, hear each other out and understand each others' motivations. Even if things didn't come out right, most times, they came from a place of love and you can only know this if you hear each other out with an open mind.

5. Don't talk sh-t about your partner

What you keep telling yourself, you start to believe. Likewise, talking sh-t about your partner eventually affects the way you see them, which in turn colours your interaction with them, and consequently, hurts your relationship.

6. Don't b-tch about your partner to your friends (too much)

When we run into trouble in our relationships, the first thing many of us do is whip out our phones and start b-tching to our friends. We rant and we build a case against our partners, telling these stories from our biased point of view, even exaggerating some of the details to pull our friends over to our side. And it feels good to get it off our chests and to have our feelings and reasons validated. The thing is when our partners do something nice or sweet for us, not all of us relay that information to our friends, leaving them with this one-dimensional, terrible view of our partners. Many of the times, we wind up forgiving our partners, because in the grand scheme of all the good things they've done and added to our lives, the bad stuff amounts to little. But our friends don't have that full picture and may not forgive them, leading to all sorts of other tensions and drama.